Anyone else dealing with a controlling mother in law (to be) who is a little too involved w/ wedding plans?!

Smile and nod and thank her for her opinion.

AND stop talking about details to her. The less she knows the less she can say.

Just grit your teeth. Listen to what she has to say (even if you don't want to) and then just do whatever it is you were going to in the first place. She won't know the difference.

My FMIL was the same about the First Look. FH will do it if I really want to but his parents hate the idea. They're older though and they're Southern. That's where "you don't see the bride before the wedding" actually *started.* Older generations don't get it yet.

Regardless, try not to let it bother you. I would just not talk about the wedding when she's even around, if I were you.

I NEVER bring it up in front of her! She is always the one who brings it up and is throwing all these ideas at me that I have no interest in! That's what makes it difficult..she is the one constantly bringing it up..

I aboslutely LOVE my FMIL as a person, but she's on this kick where she wants to pay for everything, and FH and I don't like that and we feel guilty but she wont let up

I think woth the first look thing, it's just not something they're used to. It's kind of a new thing. Although my FMIL has been fantastic. We have similar tastes and she is making a ton of my decor. However a few things she said wtf to

-First looks

-Mix n match bridesmaid dresses

-Ombrè

But she gets it now. I think she even kind of likes it

When I don't want to talk about it, I lie. I say, "We haven't thought about that yet." Continue with the smile and nod when she starts making suggestions. Then change the subject.

I hear you. I am in a similar boat. All you can so is limit her knowledge of your wedding plans and when she does mention something simply smile and say "thank you, but it's taken care of"

FutureMrsClark- there are worse situations and worse things your FMIL could want! Be happy someone cares about your wedding enough to offer to help pay for things!

I don't think you guys know what I'm dealing with LOL...she is a CONTROL FREAK! If I ignore her she will keep repeating herself..there was one time my FH'S brother was in the room and had to say "ok mom I think she heard you the first few times.." Its torture..

Are our MIL's related?? Mine would suggest things or if i had already planned something she would make a remark that came across snotty and it irritates me but i realize that things are WAAAAY different now than when she got married. I know she wants the best for us so i just ignored the comments and add something like, well this is what i like or H would actually be snotty back to her.

We did a first look and i just wanted it to be H and I and our photographers so my sister (MOH) shut the doors to auditorium at the church and there were windows in the door and MIL was peeking through. My sister said she had to shoo MIL away! haha

Is your FMIL only going to have 1 of her children get married? I'm dealing with something similar, BUT I avoid talking about it in front of her and if she insists on giving me ideas I either say good idea or that it's already been taken care of FH and I both like the way we are doing it.

I think it's a control thing some FMIL's have like because she may not be footing the bill?? She is throwing in her two cents so on the wedding day she can say, "that was my idea." FH needs to speak up too, let him know if it really bothers you he should politely say something. My FH has me forward her emails and texts to him so he can screen them and decide what he needs to address her with. The emails and suggestions and questions can get out of hand.

The only control issue I'm dealing with at the moment is the guest list. It's been 1.5 years since I've asked her to get her list together. She still hasn't gotten it to me, and we are nearly out of time.

I've taken it upon myself to contact the cousins I know and get their addresses. Save the dates will be sent out in another month or so, if I don't have "the rest of the list" by mid-December, I guess those people aren't invited to the wedding I don't know everybody!

Yep, either she's always this way and the wedding makes it worse or he's the only boy/baby of the family/only child. Mother's of the groom are supposed to wear Beige and keep their mouth shut! I wish I was in the south.

I am definitely in the same boat. My FH is a total Mama's boy and she is EXTREMELY opinionated. I had to tell my FH that we are not talking about plans near her. It got to the point where she wouldn't disagree with an idea, but would tell me I was wrong for my opinion. Since we stopped discussing things around her, it's going MUCH better. We tell her things we have already decided so she stays in the loop.

No he is NOT an only child...but he is the oldest! He has two younger brothers..I think the reason she is acting this way is because he is the first to get married and also, she doesn't have any daughters! She recently started buying me all these clothes and stuff...I think maybe she always wanted a girl..? That's just my guess though!

Also, FH will NOT address his mother..he is a MOMMA'S BOY and whenever I tell him that she is being too pushy he says "no she is just trying to help" ughhhh

Since I don't know her or your relationship, I don't know if this would work, but perhaps you can take a little bit of time to talk to her one on one. Let her know that you appreciate her eagerness to be involved and all of her suggestions, but that you are getting a little overwhelmed because of the overabundance of input you are receiving (you can imply you are getting suggestions from multiple people, not just her, which I'm guessing is probably true anyway). Perhaps you can ask her to keep a running list of all the suggestions that she thinks of and ask her to send you *one* email a week with all her thoughts. (This will hopefully make her feel heard as well as allow you to choose when to read through them, etc.)

Also, is there a small task that you could possibly delegate to her so that she can be "in charge" of that task? Perhaps if you give her a task or two and let her run with it she will feel more included and things could possibly calm down.

Nah, my MIL is the shit. Honestly, I think you might have to just listen to her thoughts and then go from there. Parents are going to have opinions and they will find a way to voice them. It never hurts to just be honest as well. Good luck

VNGB - That's just the thing..I have given her a few tasks! It's just never ending...and I feel like since it is my FH's mother..he should be the one to address her with this issue but he refuses!