Anyone donating $$$ to Charity instead of favors?

I believe it is your choice. We decided that we are going to donate one dollar per person.

This has been raised here a lot. The real question is why you are doing it. Favors are unnecessary to begin with, whether or not you make a donation. Conversely, a donation can be made whether or not you have favors, and without announcing it at the wedding. It is not really a favor to your guests, whose favorite charities may be quite different from yours. Thus, having an announcement at the wedding can come across as an attention grab.

Making a donation to an organization that is important to you is a great thing to do. But I would skip calling it a favor or announcing it at the wedding.

I agree with 2d bride.

@ 2nd Bride - we are choosing to donate to more than one charity. My FH's aunt just passed away 2 weeks ago from pancreatic cancer, and he has a 37 yr old cousin that was just diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. So we would like to donate to a cancer foundation in memory of his aunt and also in support of his cousin. We are also donating to the AIDS Foundation in memory of my uncle who passed away from AIDS when I was 16 and we are also donating to the March of Dimes because I had twin girls who were born 16 1/2 weeks premature. One of my twins died at 9 days old, so I hold the March of Dimes extremely close to my heart.

Trust and believe, when we donate, we are doing it within good reason. These are issues that have affected us and changed our lives.

Oh, I fully understand and support your desire to make a donation, FutureMrs.BTA. The question is why you need to announce it to your guests.

I've never been to a wedding where the bride and groom have made donations in lieu of favors and there was no announcement. I thought that was done out of consideration for the guests. I presume you don't necessarily have to tell the guests, but if you don't plan on having any favors don't you think they may wonder where the favors are? LOL!

I've never done this whole formal wedding ceremony/reception thing, so I have no idea what to do! My first marriage was the courthouse and dinner...this formal crap can be so complicated sometimes.

We also plan on making a donation in luie of traditional favors. We figured we would do $1 per guest or $2 per guest depending on our budget closer to the date. I have been to two weddings where donations have been maid in luie of favors and both were posted at the wedding. One wedding had a standing card at each table which explained the donation and who it was made in memory of and the other had a scroll on each plate which also had a poem and explained whose memory the donation was being made in. I personally think that if the donation is made in someone's memory it is a very nice touch to have it posted somewhere for your guests to know and to include the memory of the people that you are making the donation for. So yes it may not be an actual favor that people can take home. But I think that's why it's "in luie of traditional favors" meaning the money you would have spent on their favors you put towards the donation. Again I personally see nothing at all wrong *cont*

Well favors aren't necessary, i think it's actually been discussed here before too. There is one bride who has said she is not giving favors. Just like a gift should not be expected neither should a favor. Unless you'll be giving the guests a receipt for them to use as a tax deduction then there's really no point in announcing it. I get making a donation, especially if the foundations you are donating to hit close to home, my FH has Hodgkin's lymphoma, so I have made a couple of donations to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of America, as well as to March of Dimes, St Jude's, and Goodwill... and will probably continue to do so for the rest of my life, but that is just my own personal thing.

With having it posted at the wedding. I think it's a very nice thought and I know that at least for me and FS it's a very important part of our day as it's part of how we will keep his mother's memory at the wedding.

We just did that this week. I had figured it would cost us over $200 for favors, and I didn't want to spend that, so we donated a lesser amount to a charity we've done before. you just do 1 lump sum donation with your credit card or something, you don't do it in each guests' individual name in case it's a charity they don't want to be associated with. we printed small cards for each table that say in honor of our guests, we donated to JDRF, but we didn't put the amount on there for them to see.

What i'm trying to say is, if it's not benefiting the guests in one way or another whether its a donation or whatever, then it really isn't a favor anyways, so why call it one. Again, not trying to sound cold or anything, I'm the furthest thing from cold, but it's just something to think about. But you can do whatever you want, it's your wedding and things are done in every wedding that not everyone agrees with. "to each his own" right?

A favor is a gift to your guest. Giving a donation to the charity of your choice is not a gift for the guest. Favors are not needed at all. If you want to give a donation to a charity that is wonderful and you should definitely do it but I don't think you should announce it at your wedding. It does seem as though you are promoting yourself and your generosity. If the charity sells bracelets or something like that I think that it would be appropriate to give it to your guest but I wouldn't give any other explanation about the donation.

@ Vera - I like the poem idea!!! Very sentimental!!!

@ Hilda - I never knew the papers they gave out announcing the donations in lieu of favors were receipts for tax deductions! See, you learn something new everyday. I guess I'll just talk to my FH and see what he thinks about the announcements.

The point is it's IN LUIE of... meaning no it's not a favor "for you" but this is what we did instead.

Also, more often than not people make the donations in someone's memory so maybe that is also another reason for them listing it.

Future MrsBTA,

I think its perfectly appropriate to announce the charity at the wedding..I don't think its show-boating at all :-) my friend donated to a domestic violence shelter and made a pretty card..here is a skeleton of what she had..

To Our Family and Friends,

We have chosen a special way to say “Thank You” for sharing our wedding day with us. In lieu of a traditional favor….(insert the charity)

We truly appreciate your being a part of our special day."

there are some advantages to the announcement 1)-let's face it some guests are going to notice there is no favor, and kind of wonder; some rude ones may even make mention of it. 2)-I think the announcement helps to bring attention to a causes that are near and dear to your heart and a reflection of you; after all your wedding is supposed to reflect who you are, right? :-) The majority of your guests would probably be at least somewhat aware of your family history and be touched; not think you are showing off.

@ Abigail - I agree with you about the guests wondering about the favors. That's why I thought people handed out the announcements. I never looked at it in a showboat kind of way when I saw other people do it, but I can see how it may look somewhat attention whore-ish coming from the kind of people who may like to flaunt.

Yep, neither have, but some people do, I can understand why tho. You and your FH know what your guests are like, I'm sure you'll come to a good decision :-)

Hmmmm... Vera makes a good point. If you say "in lieu of" then there is an explanation why there is no "favor" because in lieu of giving them something they might not even use, you are putting that money towards a good cause.

Hilda...exactly what I'm saying! You're not getting a favor because we used that money for a donation to a charity that is dear to us in some way.

@Hilda, I think you're missing the point. The point of telling your guests that you've made the donation has nothing to do with whether the donation is a gift to your guests (which it clearly it not). The announcement is telling the guests, "Instead of buying you each a two-dollar shot glass that you will probably leave on the table anyway, we have instead chosen to spend the money on something good and charitable." This makes most guests feel happy. It also may inspire some of them to go home and make their own charitable donations, which makes the world feel happy. There's nothing attention-seeking about this.