Mrs. Spring
Master April 2021

Anybody having a wedding without someone?

Mrs. Spring, on August 23, 2020 at 6:48 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 17
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One of the reasons why I'm leaning towards eloping is bc I don't have a good relationship with my dad. Are any other brides out there having a wedding without a parent or sibling or child present due to strained relationship or any estrangement? Anybody having a wedding without someone? 1

17 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on August 28, 2020 at 2:37 PM
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine Online ·
    • Flag
    My fiancé’s father won’t be at our wedding, and the reason is because nobody really likes his wife. We would love for him to be there, but we don’t expect him to come and leave his wife at home so we’ve accepted that they probably both won’t be there because she’s definitely not invited.
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  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I honestly don’t want my father to come, but I felt obligated to invite him and now that we are only 20 days away I really regret it. He abandoned us when my mom found out she was pregnant, then appeared right before my 18th birthday wanting some kind of relationship. It’s been many years of a strained half-ass relationship, with bouts of me refusing to have anything to do with him, and he recently pulled something that makes me want to just be done completely and walk away. If I don’t uninvited him, I plan to ignore him as much as possible.
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  • Michelle
    Expert May 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I have invited my dad because I felt it would be hurtful to him not to. I really could care less if he was there. It’s not that I don’t like him haha we just simply never had a relationship, and he was never around. My fiancé mother and father are not invited, nor have I ever met them. They haven’t spoken in almost 10 years. I wish that there was more parents around for us. I have been debating letting my father walk me down the aisle, it would be for him not me. But I also don’t want to be mean lol if my grandfather was still here there would be no question, he would be walking me down the aisle, not my father.

    All that matters is that the people who love you and support you are around you. 💕

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  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    I'm not inviting my parents or grandfather, nor have I had a relationship with them for years. My parents are toxic in general and I don't want that energy there. My grandfather whom I love dearly remarried a woman no one in my family can stand and is isolated because of her. He will be there in spirit but not will be invited.
    Fortunately I have a huge extended family I've always been much closer to and friends who are like family to celebrate the day with.

    Your guest list should be those who love and support you whom you can't imagine the day without. No one is ever obligated to attend no matter who they are.
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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    We decided from the start to only invite immediate family. It was mainly due to costs, but also because I’m no longer close with some distant family members so it was a good excuse as to why they weren’t invited.


    My sister is getting married in a month, and she decided she doesn’t want anyone at the wedding. Not because of a strained relationship with any of us, but she said she wants to share the day with her FH. The bride gets to decide what she wants, and no one should question her. So if you don’t want certain people then don’t invite them.
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    My mother declined to come to the wedding because she didn't like that her name wasn't on the invitations. (She neither paid, nor helped plan, for the wedding.)

    I can only say that it was glorious to not have the toxic parent there.

    If she had come, the day would have been about how *she* felt, and what *she* was doing, and how *she* had helped (... not at all)... and DH would have had to bail myself and my father out of jail before the end of the night.

    Without her, I could relax, enjoy the day, and never have to think about how my mother was behaving. (She embarrassed herself quite thoroughly at the wedding shower.)

    I'm sorry. You're not alone.

    You will grieve the relationship you wanted/should have had.

    But know that cutting off toxic people is it's own reward.

    Have whatever wedding you want - and don't invite those who will not share your joy.

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Hi Rebecca, thats for cobtributing on this thread.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Hi Rebecca, did anyone at the wedding or afterwards while looking at photos, ask you where your mother was?
    I'm nervous about receiving questions like this.
    • Reply
  • Bo Miller
    Expert December 2020
    Bo Miller ·
    • Flag

    I am having literally one person from my side of the family come to our wedding and that is my little sister. The rest of my immediate family is incredibly toxic and not something I want to be associated with. So I made the decision that I don't want any of them there. Does it hurt at times when I think about it and seeing my FW with her family planning? Yes. But I just remind myself that it is for the best and will lead to a happier day in the end.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    No.
    Everyone who knows me, knows... and no one else is rude enough to ask.
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  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
    • Flag

    I feel that it's completely appropriate to only invite guests who are supportive of you AND your relationship. If they don't, they don't have a right to be there.

    I eloped and it was glorious. My parents sided with my ex husband in our mutually-agreed-upon divorce and didn't put forth much effort at all to get to know my current husband. So it didn't feel right to include them in our celebration. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that something for just us (and his daughter) would be best because I didn't want our day to be about entertaining others.

    We do have people who are supportive, but they were perfectly content with seeing photos of our ceremony later.

    We had zero arguments about budget, didn't have to stress about catering, and didn't worry about rescheduling or having guests spread COVID around. Etc etc....I can't recommend elopement enough.

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Thanks for commenting,
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Thanks for your reply, Breann.
    I agree with you. Im leaning more towards eloping without any guests present due to the laxk of interest from loved ones and I love tge thought of only worrying about ourselves and not entertaining others.
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  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
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    You're welcome!

    It's nice to have the freedom to splurge on what is most important to you and omit the things that don't really matter.

    I posted photos after our wedding if you wanna see what my wedding day looked like. I kept some traditional elements and found a lot of personalized stuff on Etsy.

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/elopement-so-worth-it/627d7988aff73599.html

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Wow, the photos were lovely. I absolutely love WA. Used to live there from age 3 to 7, best childhood memories; and I try to visit every other year. Which mountains were you near?
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  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
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    Thanks! We got married on Bainbridge Island with Seattle and Mt. Rainier/Cascades in the backgroundSmiley smile I really like the weather here, and being close to the ocean and mountains.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Dedicated November 2020
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    Not a single person from my moms side of the family is even invited. My fiance's kids will not be there because the mom flipped and changed her mind at the last minute. Do what feels best fro you. Smiley smile

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