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Kelley
Just Said Yes October 2021

Any other bride to be’s anxious about not having the girl friends to choose bridesmaids from?

Kelley, on January 26, 2021 at 1:48 PM Posted in Planning 5 38
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I just never developed strong lasting bonds with other women and it’s only now bothering me. I’ve had decent friendships with other women but they all fizzle out. Since elementary school I’ve had trouble trusting and maintaining healthy relationships with girls and keep many of my friendships at arms length. I’m not particularly close with any of my lady friends.


I’ve been mostly fine with it but now that I need to choose bridesmaids I’m having trouble with it.
Anyone else feeling this? Or have had similar experience? What did you do?

38 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on September 12, 2021 at 9:06 PM
  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    You don't need that many, two or three js enough.
    Since you don't feel close to them, you will have to take the reins of planning your bachelorette and /or bridal party
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I would only choose attendants that you are really close with. These can be men or women, friends or family. There are no rules about who or how many. That said, it is also completely fine to have no attendants (I chose not to).

    If you want to work on cultivating more close friendships in your life, that is a worthy goal. But I wouldn't make it wedding-related. That is, don't focus on finding people *just* to have them in your wedding.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Devoted July 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    I ran into the same issue. I have always been more of a tomboy and had guy-friends, but not many girlfriends.


    Prior to Covid, I was going to have a Matron of Honor and that was it. My husband was just going to have his brother be the Best Man and no groomsmen. After Covid limited the guest count last July, I actually had to cut my Matron of Honor (she completely understood why) and it was just me, my husband, and the pastor standing in the front. I think I liked it even more that way. Don't stress the bridesmaid thing and definitely don't choose people just because you want people up there. Your wedding will be beautiful whether you have a big bridal party or none at all!
    • Reply
  • Kelley
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kelley ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    That does sound wonderful! My fiancé has 3 brothers and his best friend in mind so I do feel the need to find 4, at least 3 ladies. My best friend is a guy and he’s more than happy to stand up there with me. So there’s that at least, lol.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I never had this issue as my close friends didn’t have to be female to be in my wedding.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Do you have a guy friend you're closer to? You only need one attendant and their main purpose besides supporting you is to be your legal witness for paperwork. Don't let anyone pressure you into what you are not comfortable doing
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Your bridal party does not have to be made up of just females. I had a bridesman, as he is one of my best friends. If you have close guy friends, ask them to be in your bridal party!

    • Reply
  • Kelley
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Kelley ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    My one best friend is a guy and he’s agreed to be in my wedding party.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    You don’t actually NEED to choose bridesmaids. I have 2 small circles of close girlfriends (12 ladies total). However, FH and I decided against having a bridal party. Instead, we prefer that our closest friends and the rest of our family/friends simply relax and enjoy the evening by ALL being special guests.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Then that's all you need. Don't pick other people out of obligation that you have no relationship with just to "fit an image"
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Expert September 2022
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I second this. It can be nice to have the extra support, but you don't necessarily have to have them. I know my FH and I are skipping that part, mostly because the only person I can imagine having up next to me is no longer with us.

    If it bothers you, definitely don't feel like you have to stick with girls, or you can re-evaluate your relationships with family and get closer to some of them Smiley smile

    Plenty of people don't have wedding parties at all, or they have mismatched numbers (B - 2 G - 4 kind of scenarios).

    • Reply
  • Kawanda
    Savvy June 2021
    Kawanda ·
    • Flag

    As a member of a Sorority and other orgs, I kept it super simple. Best Friend, Sister and Cousin. That;s it!!

    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I'm more introverted so I don't have a lot of friends. I have two bridesmaids compared to my FH 6 groomsmen.
    At first I was a little unsure about the contrast of our parties but I took comfort in the fact that my bridesmaids are people that will not stress me (no drama) and that I don't have to do a lot of back and forth with (getting dresses, scheduling, egos, etc.)
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Devoted August 2022
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    All of my friends are men since I spent college and my career so far in engineering, a male dominated field. If I were to have a bridal party, I'd pick my male friends. It doesn't have to be only women! We happen to be skipping the wedding party though since we're planning a smaller size wedding.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    Expert May 2022
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I felt like that when I was trying to decide on bridesmaids. My sister was a must and my BFF from high school (over the last 10 years we haven't been as close). And then others I wasn't sure. I ended up asking a co-worker who I started becoming good friends with and then she moved out of state. But she's such a great person I know we will continue to be life long friends. And then I asked 2 of my cousins I grew up with. We aren't as close now, but growing up we were.

    But I also feel like I don't have super close best friends anymore that I talk to on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis. So it was kind of hard to decide who I even wanted in my wedding group. Overall I think I'm pretty happy with my decision.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I have a few close girlfriends but there's no way I could choose between them for bridesmaids.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Expert September 2021
    Meghan ·
    • Flag
    I kept it simple with asking my 3 sisters and 2 cousins. You can ask guys to stand by your side and it’s ok to not have an even number as your significant other! My fiancé has 2 more people than me and everyone kept trying to get me to add 2 more people so it was even but decided not to.
    • Reply
  • FELICHA
    Savvy July 2021
    FELICHA ·
    • Flag

    I have a few close girlfriends, but initially I was not going to have a wedding party. I was still going to form some get togethers, and ask for help with certain things because they are my dear friends. We did end up choosing bridal party, I am happy with the way it is working out but I would’ve been happy the other way as well. I don’t think any one number is needed, choose as many that suits your taste and wedding or don’t choose any at all.

    • Reply
  • Amy
    Savvy June 2021
    Amy ·
    • Flag
    Yes you are definitely not alone. I'm having the same issue.
    I lost two best friends over the last nine years. The Situation's became toxic and I had to let them go, which pains me to this day.
    Two additional people I thought would always be in my wedding party I am no longer in touch with either, though I have always tried to keep up them. I haven't been able to make close friends since then.I have asked my two sisters and sister-in-law to be Bridesmaids as I was in all three of their weddings. As well as I am thinking to ask my fiance's sister. All of them live out of state.So five and no maid of honor, LOL. I guess we can make things however we want. I guess I thought things would be more fun and girly and celebratory, but I am trying to enjoy things for what they are and not make them into what others expect. I'm trying to focus on the available support my sister's have given me from afar. Yes definitely include guys if you have them! My brother is walking me down the aisle Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Devoted May 2023
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    I have a super tight knit group of friends... and they're all the ones I'm inviting. I'm foregoing bridesmaids so they can watch.

    • Reply

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