Any have/had a MOH or BM back out?

When I first started planning I had 9 BMs. I'm down to 3. The 6 who have backed out all had different reasons, 1 of them I had a falling out with, we're fine now, but by the time we started talking again it was too late to ask her to be a part of my day again, another 2 couldn't financially handle it, I had another that just up and lied to me all the time and I just didn't need that in my life, the other one has a very busy work schedule and couldn't get any time off to do any wedding stuff and the other is having back surgery. You just have to take the bad with the good, and move past it. From the sounds of it, your MOH is all about herself, and you don't want or need that at your wedding. Its your day. Put yourself first and tell her how you feel up front and if she doesn't like it oh well, you know where your feelings stand with her. Stay strong, you got this!

Thing about weddings, is that only the bride and groom are in the "money spender" mentality. My BFF of 10 years got engaged, and when I quickly realized there was no way I could meet her expectations financially, I am still a BM ( no longer a MOH) however, to me, I would rather say no becuase I dont want to disappoint the expectations she has, than say nothing, and her think its cause I never cared. There are so many emotions and stress in wedding planning times you got to remember not everyone are in a place where they can dedicate the same amount of time, energy and money. IF she is getting married, you need to understand, she is trying to save and plan for that. That doesnt mean she doesnt love you- just that she is caught up in her own stuff for the moment.

Try to be as understanding as possible, Weddings bring the crazy out in everyone and you dont want to risk a huge fight that risks your friendship!

I have another post on here but yeah I asked a bm to step down. She got pregnant after I asked her to be a bm, she will have a 6 month old baby at the time of the wedding and we're not allowing babies. She blew up over the fact that we're not allowing her baby and called me things and her husband called me things...and she treats her baby like it's the next messiah and doesn't seem interested at all in wedding things, always talks about herself and her pregnancy...so I was just done.

Despite what people say, I think a MOH or bm should do a little more than just stand there the day of the wedding. They should be supportive of you, they should carry your train so it doesn't get dirty while taking pictures, they should check your teeth for lipstick, they bring you water or snacks when you need it, and overall they generally want to be there to make you happy and be a good friend. I think it's totally okay to let someone go if you just don't feel like you can count on them to be there for you when you really need it.

A good friend of mine is getting married next month in Vegas. When her one MOH/BM stepped down at the last minute, I stepped in. She was freaking out until I asked, "Do you need a bridesmaid? I'm going to your wedding, so if you need me, just let me know. I'll be there anyway."

And now I'm the BM and I just ordered my dress. :-) It sucks, though, that her BM stepped down. I bought my plane tickets and made my hotel reservations months ago. Her BM didn't and now can't afford to go.

I had my MOH step down 2-3 days before the wedding and DH's brother stepped down from being a GM a month before.

My MOH delivered her son on the Monday before our wedding. Completely understand why she stepped down. Wish she had tried to come for part of the day at least though.

DH's brother has crowd anxiety and couldn't handle standing up with him. The only reason I was upset about this is he waited until the day tux measurements were due, so we thought we'd be uneven. I dislike uneven bridal parties. But then when MOH stepped down, we were back even.

My inital MOH who was my crazy younger sister dropped out after going ballistic over one weekend in the summer. It kinda worked out good because I never wanted her and her drama in the wedding party to begin with but let my FH and mom talk me into it. Up until one day last week she apparently thought she was STILL standing up even though she said awful things to FH and I. Miss Thing got a huge wake up call when I set the record straight with her and is now threatening to not go to the wedding. Darn

We have a best man we have yet to figure out. He wouldn't respond to FH or the other two groomsmen's texts or calls when it came to a bachelor party. He didn't show to the party either. We are one month out and he hasn't ordered his suit yet, every time FH asks him about it, it's excuse after excuse of not having time. He works 6 days a week, off on Saturdays by 1pm. Sure he's busy, aren't we all. He's known about being the best man since May. If he shows to the wedding we'll be surprised.

Hope things work out for you Sarah, at least you have a good while til your wedding. Good luck!

On of my BM backed out because she found out her uncle is getting married the same day. I understand that it's family and I had just started planning and getting people together. I hadn't officially asked her like I had asked everyone else, but I talked to her about it to see if she would be open (shes not super girly), she said yes, so I figured it was fine. I was bummed out, but I understand. A groomsman backed out as well because he found out that his doctrine presentation is the same day as our wedding. He will be able to make it to the ceremony and reception, but won't be there nearly in time to be in the wedding. It's left us uneven for now and I'm hoping we can figure something out to make it even again.

I would just be honest with her. If your wedding do you really want to deal with this the entire way until your wedding day?

My FH keeps to himself, so when he said he was tired of her sh**, it was a wake up call to me. I don't mind being uneven, it allows me more time to work with him mom in our wedding (she has breast cancer). The GM can walk her to her seat and back now that we are uneven. I won't replace her, I wanted one to start with. I feel bad in a way because she already bought her dress and I already bought her gift, but her attitude and lies i caught her in are so unwanted.

I have tired my BEST to work with her and everything. My BM wanted to throw me a nice Bridal Shower, but MOH just wanted a pizza party. If it wasn't for my BM taking it on her own, there wouldn't even have been favors. Its just simple things like that.

I am not a bride asking for our wedding party to spend a lot of time, energy and money on. But we do expect you to help during the day of the wedding and the little things that come along the way. She was single when i asked her, and she JUST got in engaged about 3 weeks ago.

Even if we work through our issues, we still don't want her in it. Sucks, I already made the program, but I rather do them again, then her not helping me on my day.

Thank you so much everyone. I am getting nervous it was just me.

This tends to happen a lot believe it or not. I had a recent argument with my bridesmaids they couldn't seem to agree on anything and they were driving me nuts until I exploded and told them they needed to figure it out, I am such a calm person and I hate conflict but sometimes it has to be done. Thankfully everything worked out and now they got the point, but let me tell you they have been the hardest part of my wedding planning by far. Just take it slow it happens and try not to stress.