Ellen
Just Said Yes November 2019

Anxious Brides - How was your experience?

Ellen, on November 14, 2019 at 5:17 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 6
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Ok, all you anxious brides, I need some reassurance.

I get incredibly anxious whenever I have to do anything publicly, or am in a new/uncomfortable situation. My heart starts racing incredibly fast, my hands sweat, my mouth gets dry and I have trouble speaking, I will get nauseous, and feel like I need to use the bathroom...if you know what I mean, and I get these red blotches all over my neck and chest. I am not a person who can hide their nerves. I was in a friend's wedding as a bridesmaid and they told us to smile as we walked down the aisle, I was so nervous I could barely smile my mouth was shaking so much. I felt anxious the whole time I was standing up there, and I wasn't even the bride! I saw a picture of myself walking down the aisle afterward, and I looked absolutely horrified.

I am getting married next Saturday and the closer I get to the wedding, the more I am experiencing these feelings, even at just the thought of it. After sharing this with my doctor, they prescribed me Propranolol to try prior to the wedding to see if it could help me. I've tried it twice now, prior to public presentations, and it did not seem to help me.

Also, in an attempt to try anything and everything that might help, I am going to a hypnotherapist on Monday. We'll see how that goes.

For all you brides who may have felt the same way prior to your wedding, how did the actual day go?? How did you manage? I don't want to dread my wedding and feel this way the day of, I want to enjoy it!




6 Comments

  • Brooke
    Expert November 2019
    Brooke ·
    • Flag

    I am very anxious in front of people, especially when they are all staring at me... BUT they aren't all just staring at me, they were looking at my groom, at the officiant, at my mom and dad's reaction, at the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. Yes, I may have been the center of attention, but it was in a room full of my friends and family. PLUS I had my now husband there with me and I just looked at him the whole time and tried not to focus on everyone else there.

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  • Kristin
    Super November 2019
    Kristin ·
    • Flag

    Both hubs and I would be just fine NOT being the center of attention but my family kind of requires, or at least expected a big wedding. I will say, we had already been married for almost 3 months (as of the 17th) when we had our big wedding last weekend... MIL passed away 7 weeks before from Pancreatic cancer and it was important to us she be there so we did a small, impromptu thing in the back yard in August. I was still soo lost in him I didn't even notice the 130 people around us, same with our first dance. I honestly felt like we were the only 2 people in the room.

    My best friend got married about a year and a half ago and said the same thing... I didn't believe her then, but i totally do now.

    Focus on each other, it'll probably happen anyway, but all the commotion will just disappear as soon a those doors open.

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  • E
    Dedicated May 2019
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    When I am anxious or nervous I get the red blotches on my neck and chest. In the weeks leading up to my wedding, it definitely was happening more than usual with all the stress. When I walked down the aisle, I focused on my husband. We both had big happy smiles on our faces. I just kept my eyes on him and our guests just kind of faded into the background for me. I also asked my makeup artist to extend my makeup down my neck and chest in case I got red.
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  • Susan
    Devoted May 2020
    Susan ·
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    I’m the same way! I’ve been married once before, however and I will tell you what I did to help.


    1. When I walked down the aisle, I focused on my groom and I held onto my dad for dear life. Seeing my late husband smiling at me from the front, honestly everything else melted away. But having my dad to hold onto gave me a sense of grounding and that I wasn’t alone.
    2. Breathe. This sounds silly maybe but make sure you’re not so tightly bound into a corset and your dress that you can’t take a good, deep breath. Breathing clears your head and helps you focus.
    3. Say little affirmations to yourself. Your mental attitude is a big part. Already saying “I hate this and I know I’m going to panic and freak out and look terrible” is half the battle gone. Instead just repeat to yourself “I can do this.” Say it to yourself 100 times per day if you have to until some tiny part of yourself starts to believe it.
    4. Remember you are surrounded by friends and family who are happy for you and want you to have a great day. They aren’t there to scare or upset you.
    5. Take a few minutes away. Hide out with your groom someplace quiet and enjoy time to take a deep breath and soak in your special day.
    6. Eliminate things you can that put you front and center. Skip the bouquet toss. Don’t ask more than one person to give a toast. Don’t have everyone come to the ceremony, just invite them to the reception. Don’t do a big send off.
    7. Practice. Have a friend or loved one follow you around with a camera and take picture of you for a solid hour. Get used to that feeling. Recite your vows over and over out loud. If you have time, join Toastmasters and get a little bit of comfort and familiarity with public speaking.
    It’s really all about overcoming that fight or flight instinct and re-wiring your brain. You got this!
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  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    Just remember all the people watching you are your closest friends and family.


    What exactly are you afraid of? Like I know you’re anxious but, what specifically are you anxious about happening? What about being watched in public like that is stressful for you? If you can narrow down why you feel this way it may be easier to talk yourself down from the fear.
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  • L
    Savvy December 2019
    Ladyredgravedmc ·
    • Flag
    I'm exceedingly uncomfortable being the center of attention. I got major anxiety just trying on dresses. I honestly am just going to take my anti-anxiety meds before so I'm a little less of a panicking mess.
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