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Dedicated September 2022

Anxious bride!!!

Lauren, on July 8, 2021 at 6:25 PM Posted in Planning 0 10

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I have anxiety at baseline so as exciting as this all is, I’m feeling super anxious! I feel like a have a mountain of task before me and everyone has an opinion on EVERYTHING.

My fiancé is trying to help but he doesn’t always get things. For example, he thinks arranging a hotel block is silly and not our responsibility. But he has given every photographer we talk to so far a full-shake down about their skills, favorite settings, and their editing software (which is all Greek to me). Some tasks are just not for him - seriously, a photographer ghosted us because I think he scared them 😂
Fellow anxious brides, send me your tips for remaining sane in this process. How do I get through this without pulling all my hair out?

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Latest activity by Mrs. Phillips21, on July 13, 2021 at 2:14 PM

Devoted May 2022
Amanda · on July 8, 2021 at 6:54 PM
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My tips: make a to-do list, try to only make plans and book vendors you love (you can’t please everyone), split up the tasks or have some sort of compromise if you and your fiancé are better at different things, breathe and celebrate the little decisions. And if you have the funds, a wedding planner might save you some stress and make planning more enjoyable. Best of luck
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Dedicated October 2022
Viviana · on July 8, 2021 at 7:16 PM
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Do you have a wedding coordinator? They could help!
If not, just make a list of things you still have to do and give yourself a timeline of when to complete them by. Ask your close friends/family members for help if your FH isn't helping as much lol
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Super November 2020
Natalie · on July 8, 2021 at 9:38 PM
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I really loved the planning checklist/timeline on WeddingWire and the Knot. They really helped me get an idea of what needed done and when, so I was able to focus on a little bit at a time. This forum was also helpful. While I didn’t post any questions, reading through it when I had time helped me get a better feel for weddings in general and learn a lot about etiquette. The more I learned, the more comfortable and confident I was in the process.
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on July 9, 2021 at 12:15 PM
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Hi Lauren! I definitely think a planning timeline (or checklist that's spread over your engagement timeline) will be really helpful for keeping you on track, and also for keeping perspective!! If you try to plan your whole wedding at once you'll be buried under countless decisions, so just focusing on the next item on my checklist was really helpful in keeping me calm and productive.
You should also check out this article which has great tips and expert planning advice:
Planning a Wedding with Anxiety: How to Manage It All
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on July 9, 2021 at 12:18 PM
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My tips: -if you suffer from anxiety, consider counseling if you aren’t already doing it. It’s helped me a lot.
-Hire a day of coordinator so that on the day of your wedding nothing has to be your problem.
-Create smaller to do lists (I did monthly ones while planning) so that it’s less overwhelming to see what you have to do.
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VIP July 2017
Becky · on July 9, 2021 at 8:37 PM
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I agree - if you can afford it, then get a wedding planner to help you and making lists is the only thing that got me through it.
As a side note, you don't *have* to set up a hotel block. There were no complimentary blocks available near us, so we forewent them. We just put recommendations of hotels on our website. People still managed to get themselves arranged, and 99.5% of our guest list was from out of town (I did the math).
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Dedicated September 2022
Lauren · on July 9, 2021 at 9:34 PM
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I am definitely looking into a planner. Not sure if it will fit in my budget but no harm in looking! I want to offer hotel blocks if I can…my fiancé just doesn’t think it’s a real thing 🤪 but I agree if I don’t find one that requires me to pay for unbooked rooms, I won’t offer it!
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Dedicated September 2022
Lauren · on July 9, 2021 at 9:35 PM
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I am in counseling. I think I’m mostly frustrated because I had my anxiety so well controlled until I started to plan but even just posting made me feel less alone and more at ease!

A day of coordinator is a great idea! And I like the idea of monthly goals!
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Dedicated September 2022
Lauren · on July 9, 2021 at 9:36 PM
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Great article thank you for sharing!
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Dedicated October 2021
Mrs. Phillips21 · on July 13, 2021 at 2:14 PM
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Hello, First off- you are doing a fantastic job. This is you and your FH's day! Nobody else's opinions matter but you two. As for your FH; it's sweet that he wants to contribute but maybe offer him some tasks that would occupy him? That way he can help but at an arms length LOL. I recommend doing a room block for your guests. It doesn't cost you anything- or it shouldn't; and it'll make their lives a bit easier on the weekend of the wedding. The best advice I can give you is Organize, Organize, Organize. Make a schedule for yourself and stick to it as best as you can. Also, as a wedding coordinator myself, hiring a wedding coordinator to assist will ease your frustration and anxiety- even if it's just for the day of. Goodluck and Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!
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Anxious bride!!!

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