Anxious about Wedding

I think maybe you need to seek professional counseling.

There’s a lot going on and maybe you need someone to help you who has no relationship to you.

Yes, you need to hold off on sending those save the dates until you speak with your SO and your family. If you explain your thoughts to your parents I think they’d understand not having a big wedding. Perhaps you can have a small intimate ceremony with just your family and close friends and then a small dinner reception at a restaurant or something. You can still do the dress and all the things Mother’s dream of with their little girl. But takes the anxiety out of the big day.

View Quoted Comment I am in counseling. But thank you for the advice. This really isn't a decision my therapist can make for me. I was really curious if other women have gone through something similar and how they dealt with it.

View Quoted Comment I feel like that's the reason I'm on the fence. I want to experience some of the things that go along with having a wedding. I was hoping SO would try and work on things with his family but he feels they won't change and it's not worth it and that's his right. But having people there that aren't supportive at an event that is supposed to be intimate and happy feels Terrible to me. I'm already putting myself out of my comfort zone by having a wedding. I want to feel like I'm in the company of people who care about us genuinely. But he feels I shouldn't let it bother me.

One of my son in-laws has social anxiety. When he and my oldest daughter married, we wanted to invite the family but he wasn’t comfortable with the idea. It was hard for my H and I to understand, but ultimately it was their decision so they had a very intimate wedding with a total of 11 people. Just immediate family and their SO’s. His sister was their officiant and it turned out to be a beautiful ceremony. We reserved a private room at a restaurant for dinner afterwards. It’s been almost 7 years since the wedding and he still struggles to be around extended family. He didn’t attend our middle daughter’s wedding in July, but the room of 205 people was too much for him. He did RSVP for our youngest daughter’s wedding next week but I doubt he will show. He already declined the RD. But my H and I now realize this is just how it is. We’ve stopped taking it personal and instead cherish the times when he is present at Christmas or other family gatherings. Looking back I wish we hadn’t pushed for a bigger wedding but I’m so glad we ultimately relented and allowed them to have the day THEY wanted. I hope you and your FH can find a solution that works for you both. I know etiquette says you must invite the SO of anyone invited and usually I’m all about etiquette, but sometimes there are extenuating circumstances and I think yours is one of them. Do you think his dad would understand just wanting him there? I would definitely talk to your FH about all this. A wedding shouldn’t turn you up inside like this is doing to you and I’ve seen some absolutely gorgeous elopements here on WW. I hope you can work it out. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment I never said it was a decision your therapist could make for you. I was saying that talking your concerns out with someone who has no alterior motives / is an unbiased party may help you make a decision that’s best for you. Coming on a forum and asking how others dealt with similar situations isn’t going to fix your issue either. Good luck.

I would definitely hold off on the STDs. You have very real fears about the wedding and you need to sit down and talk to FH about them. It seems like the big wedding isn't for you and you need to let him in on how you are feeling so you can make a decision together.

View Quoted Comment A lot of times, having a discussion on here can help people figure out what to do and work through issues. We ARE an unbiased party and have a lot of advice to offer.

View Quoted Comment I think asking your advice on my table decor and potentially canceling a wedding are two different things.

View Quoted Comment There is already a lot of great advice on this thread for the OP. We come from all walks of life and can help tremendously with difficult situations. This forum is not just for "table decor."

View Quoted Comment Have a blessed day Lacy.

View Quoted Comment You as well, Kenisha.

View Quoted Comment What advice did you have for the OP?

OP, please feel free to ask advice on any topic whatsoever and do not allow anyone to say you can not. I suffer from anxiety as well and chose to go with a smaller wedding as well and there's nothing wrong with that.
My advice for you: I have said nothing offensive to you at all. I simply said the OP is allowed to post about her problem on a forum where people can help her. So you might need to figure out why that is bothering you so much.

View Quoted Comment ... so your advice to the OP concerning her issue was what?

View Quoted Comment We may have a lot of advice to offer, but suggesting counseling to a person who is suffering from anxiety bad enough where they’re considering cancelling their wedding IS also good advice. Others may have gone through similar situations, but that doesn’t mean we have the same skill set or knowledge of OPs anxiety as her therapist would.

Of course she’s allowed to post here and Kenisha never told her not too. She just told her that it may be best to seek guidance from a therapist who can help her to better understand her own anxieties and how to calm them. I suffer from anxiety too, but my anxiety isn’t the same as someone else’s so my answers to problems I face won’t necessarily help someone else.

What if you only invite your immediate family? That might bring your guest list down and cut your anxiety. This day should be about what you want as a couple and the best day of your lives. You need to talk it out together

Have another conversation with your SO and write a pros and cons list. Remember that your wedding is one day and your marriage is what you want for a lifetime. There is no right way to Get married. If this is too much at sending STD I wouldnt send them.

Older forum but I feel this! Went to send my save the dates in February and I froZe. Didn’t send. Still never sent now in July. Weddings in September and I’ve put off planning as long as possible. It’s now becoming a problem and I just want to cancel it all. What was your outcome.