Anxiety?

Could you clarify or ask him to clarify why he’s anxious. Is it because of the wedding or marriage? If it’s because of a wedding, then I’m in the same boat as him. I get wayyyy to stressed out calculating the thousands of dollars I possibly have to spend and all of the family conflict that will happen.

Also, I want to mention to consider eloping or having a tiny wedding (20 guest max) if he’s nervous about having a wedding with a big guest count.

View Quoted Comment I asked if it’s about the expenses. He said no. It’s the thought of marriage probably. I set a date on March 9, he says “okay” but when I share with him some information like stuff about where we’re gonna stay, how many days, this and that (destination wedding) he stops me cause he thinks that we’ve talked about it enough.

View Quoted Comment Well actually we are planning to do it in Seychelles. It’s easy and only his parents and mine will be there. I have set a date on March 9, he says “sounds okay”. But when I start talking about the details like rentals, budget and stuff he gets too anxious and doesn’t want to talk about it. He changes the topic right away. I feel like he doesn’t wanna do it really. 😭

View Quoted Comment Oh no. I can only give my opinion off of the limited information and it sounds like he may not want to get married. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to commit. Some people just don’t want to sign a legally binding document. If you’re okay with this then you can always have a ceremony to celebrate your love. However, if your goal is to legally wed, then you may want to discuss going to couple’s therapy and evaluating if you two are the right fit for each other.

View Quoted Comment He says he wants me always and forever and for sure he will marry me someday. I am very confused. We talked about his “anxiety” yesterday and he says I have to help him with it cause he doesn’t get it either. His words were, “I know that it is the right choice to get married, there is no reason to be not, but I get really anxious about it”

Have you two tried couples therapy? It could help him have a safe space to work through his feelings. He may not know how to express his thoughts and a therapist could help him

View Quoted Comment No. He doesn’t even talk to his close friends about it. I don’t tell anyone close to me either. We live in Dubai. One of the reasons why I want the wedding earlier is that so we can live together legally as well and he says he likes that idea.

Maybe I have to face the reality that he really doesn’t want to get married? What should I do?

Maybe you should ask him if he would like you to plan everything and you just don’t talk to him about it. Just give him an itinerary and tell him the dates you two will be in Seychelles so that he can take those days off of work.

If I were you, I would assume that he doesn’t want to marry me.

I understand that some men won’t be as interested in women about a wedding but if they are serious about marrying us then they will show SOME interest and won’t switch the subject each time.

View Quoted Comment Should I confront and ask him thay? I remember a time that I asked that question and he said pf course he wants to marry me

View Quoted Comment I’m sure every language has this phrase: “actions speak louder than words.” He should be SHOWING you that he wants to marry you. If he’s not, then consider walking away.

He even mentioned yesterday that he doesn’t like the idea of waiting a year to get married.

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It may be that he doesn't want to lose a relationship with you, but doesn't want to marry you. I think you would have to decide if you would be willing to stay with him even if the marriage gets pushed back again, or if you want to push for a marriage sooner than later, or if you want to walk away/reconsider the terms of your relationship

View Quoted Comment I will think about that thanks tiffany

It sounds like he’s not ready for marriage. If that’s the case, it doesn’t matter the reason but you should definitely postpone it if not cancel it altogether. You said you want to get married so you can live together legally. I’m not sure what you mean by that, since you most certainly don’t have to be married to live together unless there’s a religious belief that’s holding you back. But that’s not really a good reason to want to get married either. I think you both have some things to work out. I agree with the others that if you want to proceed with this wedding that you should get some couples counseling. I wish you luck and hope it all works out.

View Quoted Comment She's in Dubai. They can't live together without being married.

I think he’s just trying to reason with himself about this. Logically he knows marriage makes the most sense, especially with your living situation but for some reason he has these anxious thoughts and worries. He knows if he doesn’t go through with it he risks losing you but his heart is not in it either. Every time you bring up the wedding the decision looms over him, a hard deadline he’s reminded of.
He needs to talk to a therapist to help him get his thoughts together. He wants to marry you so you’ll stay together but he also doesn’t because X reason. He doesn’t know what that reason is, that’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it. It could just be cold feet or something more serious. The uncertainty of his own thoughts is a frightening thing to face alone.