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Kristen
Master November 2020

Anxiety over elopement (venting)

Kristen, on March 2, 2020 at 9:50 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 10

Has anyone all of a sudden feel anxious or sad about your wedding. Let me clarify it has nothing to do with my FH as we have a great relationship and he is amazing. It is me. I was excited that FH agreed to at least let my brother walk me down the aisle and we would have just two friends. I asked my big brother (he has been the man in my life forever and I lost my dad when I was 13) and he said he will think about it. Not because he is a jerk but I figured he may say no because he has worse social anxiety more than my FH and of course I do not want to make him feel awkward either. I if anything wanted him to know he would be important to me on the day whether he is there or not. He may come through but I would not be surprised if she chooses not to and mostly I just want him to be happy for me. All of a sudden it just hit me that I would be walking alone. I kind of knew that may be the case but it really hit me that I do not have parents. Sometimes I see my friends lifestyles or their weddings where they had their parents or a full wedding and I easily start focusing on what I lack rather than what I do have and I get sad and depressed. Apart of me wanted to tell FH that if I am going to elope then let's go elsewhere and I will pay for it all but I doubt that would make me feel better or would it. I am excited about our venue and that my BFF will be there but I guess for the past couple of days that has disappeared and I cannot focus on the good parts of it and almost feel it is important. I guess I just need to write out my thoughts and feelings as I said a little something to my FH but I do not go into detail because I do not think he will understand and like some men he will listen but is not like a woman in regards to the advice department ya know? LOL. Thanks for reading if you did. Smiley smile

10 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on March 3, 2020 at 7:09 AM
  • Shamaree
    Dedicated February 2020
    Shamaree ·
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    I think it’s normal to be anxious. It’s helpful to talk about it, whether it’s to him, family/friends or on here.


    I didn’t even walk down an aisle. We walked together to our spot and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. Sometimes we worry about things that aren’t gonna be a huge deal years from now when you look back. Hopefully everything goes as planned but even if it doesn’t like you said you get to marry someone amazing.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Thanks for your advice. I know you are right that I get tto marry him and I am sure the day will be lovely. Honestly this is why I try to stay of social media a bit these days lol. I am happy for my friends that got married or are getting married but I think I look at what others have and I start to focus on what I do not have and I should not because my life could be so much worse in so many ways. I think it sometimes sucks realizing I do not have parents to share this with. I guess my family life in general is not how I imagined as a little girl but it is what it is and I am sure I am not the only one. Thanks again I really appreciate your response. Smiley smile

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  • Taylor
    Beginner November 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I understand the whole anxiety thing (being diagnosed with Sever anxiety) if you are upset about walking down the isle alone, maybe have a group of your closest friends all walk with you? I have seen this before and I thought it was the sweetest thing because I witnessed a strong and loving friendship. If that does not work out, have peace in knowing that is not what truly matters at the end of the day. You are marrying your person. You will be starting a new chapter of your life with the person you love!
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you. It would just be my FH and I and our two friends. Not a full wedding and because FH also has social anxiety that is why we are eloping. It was the happy medium between the courthouse and a full wedding. I know you are right and I am marrying him and it will be a lovely day regardless. I just need to disconnect from social media again I think lol. I just get into my own head.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    And don’t forget that one day if you and your spouse decide, you can have a vow renewal or another wedding celebration
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    The social anxiety he has is the issue lol. He is at least cool with a party later on to celebrate with friends and family which is nice. I think at some point when things are different from what we envisioned as little girls I guess it sometimes hurts. I know the day will be fine and sometimes life does not work out as we hope I guess it sometimes hits hard. I think sometimes we just get in our feelings I suppose lol. Thanks so much for your words.
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  • S
    December 2020
    Shelly ·
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    Why not have your bridesmaid walk with you down the aisle? As women/girls we go everywhere in pairs Smiley smile My BFF was with me through thick and thin and would definitely be a good person to walk with me.

    If you choose to walk alone, you will be fine too. I'm sure you will be looking at your FH with a large smile on your face.


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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    I don’t think you will even think about the fact that you are walking alone on the day. You’ll lock eyes with your groom and that will lead you down the aisle.
    It makes sense that you are feeling the sadness and it isn’t something you need to get past. It’s ok to be sad. I suggest talking to your FH. I’m willing to bet he is the best listener and shoulder to cry on that you know. Lean on him in this moment of sadness, get it out, and then allow yourself to be happy again about your wedding. It’s tough, I get it, but you need to allow yourself to feel the sadness before you can move forward.

    I’m trying not to think about the fact that my grandfather, the man that hung the moon and stars for me, most likely won’t be at my wedding. My FH and I went home to MS for his 93rd birthday last month and talked to him about how we can get him to our wedding. I told him how important it is to me that he be there and that we would do whatever we need to do to get him to Gatlinburg. We will rent the best dang motor home and a driver if we have to. But he still wasn’t on board with that. He doesn’t want to go that far away from home. I’m trying not to think about it, but I know it will hit me hard when we get closer to March and I realize he really isn’t coming. It will make me very sad, but I hope I’ll be able to feel that sadness and move forward without it ruining our wedding day.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you very much for the suggestion. I think I would rather just walk alone and have my maid of honor walk in front of me and kind of like a little procession. I know be fine walking alone I think it just kind of hit me that clutch everybody got been to my friends have had at least one parent to walk them down and truthfully I kind of figured my brother may say no because he does not like attention on him and I would never want to make him awkward for the sake of one day. Most days I'm very happy about what we're doing and luckily venting to two good friends of mine about it one being the maid of honor their words made me feel better. I was just having a down moment. Thank you so much for your suggestion and thank you so much for your kind words I really do appreciate it.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you so much for saying that and you are right that sometimes you just need to feel our feelings but the day of will be great no matter what. I'm really sorry about your grandpa and I sincerely hope he changes his mind to be there for your wedding as that is super important. I think you should just tell him that you're taking him out to dinner and then just keep driving to the wedding hahaha. The emotional times during wedding planning stuff but we will get through them and we will have a happy day no matter what. I hope you're planning goes well and I hope your day is magical.
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