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Just Said Yes August 2019

Anxiety last minute tips (trigger warning)

Maddie G, on June 28, 2019 at 11:13 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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I posted on here last week regarding not wanting to attend my friends wedding due to my mothers suicide attempt. The wedding is tomorrow, and we decided to go, and leave early.
Im having really bad anxiety right now!

when i feel like this i always get so insecure. Like i dont feel pretty, and dont understand why my fiance would ever find me attractive.

Any last minute tips on how i can feel better? Is it rude to leave before the cake?
The seremony is 12:30, then dinner at 5 (3 courses)

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Mcskipper, on June 28, 2019 at 1:53 PM

Devoted November 2019
Nicole · on June 28, 2019 at 11:27 AM
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Be okay with giving yourself an out, and give yourself check ins. It is definitely not rude to leave when you need to in this situation.
Check in with yourself after the ceremony (how am I feeling? Can I make it through cocktail hour okay?)
Check in again after cocktail hour (can I make it through dinner?) and after dinner (can I make it through the first dances?).
Just take it a step at a time. You're doing great already just by going!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 28, 2019 at 11:48 AM
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I don't think it's rude to leave before cake cutting. You're brave to go! It's ok if during you slip away and take a breather somewhere alone if you need it. You got this!
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Expert November 2019
Kiley · on June 28, 2019 at 12:18 PM
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I agree with Nicole. Communicate and establish a plan with you FH before you all arrive to the wedding. Reevaluate how you feel after each wedding timeline milestone (i.e. ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner..). If you need a moment to regroup, slip into the bathroom for a little quiet time and regroup. It's important to keep the communication open with your FH.. he really is the one who can help, understand and protect you.
I too struggle severely with anxiety and it leads me down the path of asking "why the hell is my FH choosing me!?" Just remember, the hard times/anxiety will past. Your FH knows your strength and is there for your weaknesses. He loves YOU even if that means anxiety and insecurity is a part of you.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 28, 2019 at 1:53 PM
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Don’t try to pre-plan this, just go with how you are feeling in the moment. Forgive yourself, and do what you need to feel comfortable. I’m certain your friend would rather you do what’s best for you than suffer through it and spend her whole wedding miserable. Breathe. Try not to put any pressure on yourself. If you are able to relax and have fun— that’s wonderful- do so, you do deserve it. If ultimately you’re not able to relax and enjoy, feel free to remove yourself from the situation.

for what it’s worth, I had someone leave early from my wedding. And I’m still not sure why — I think she left before dinner. I probably wouldn’t have realized except her name came up and I realized I never saw her at all, but apparently she had been around earlier. I just feel badly she needed to go and missed out, and that I missed opportunity to thank her for coming, but otherwise I am unbothered— she did what she needed to do!
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