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Devoted October 2020

Another Indecisive rsvp

Futuremrsn, on August 31, 2020 at 8:56 PM Posted in Planning 0 14

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Hi Ladies! I recently posted about trouble with ‘maybe’ rsvps in the forums and since today is our final rsvp date, we decided to contact the people we hadn’t heard from. A friend of my fiancé (who is a highway patrolman) told me him and his wife were a ‘yes’ but anything could happen and he could end up having to go to work that day (our wedding day). I’m wondering if I should even include them at this point, since they never bothered to reach out, didn’t send their rsvp back, and after asking them twice, disregarded my question of entree choice if they are attending the wedding. Am I overthinking this? What would you do? These people are making me crazy!

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Jana, on September 1, 2020 at 10:44 AM

Master October 2022
Jana · on August 31, 2020 at 9:00 PM
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If they said yes when you contacted them, then count them in. During a pandemic, everyone has to be flexible and go with the flow.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 31, 2020 at 9:05 PM
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I would include them
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on August 31, 2020 at 9:08 PM
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I would send them one final message (or phone call) letting them know that you have to submit a final count for the caterers, and if they are planning on attending your wedding they need to let you know TODAY which entrée choice they would like; and if you do not hear from them by the end of the day you will assume they are declining to attend.
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Devoted August 2020
Kate · on August 31, 2020 at 9:27 PM
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I honestly would lower your final count by at least a few, because you will have some dropouts prior to your wedding. Hopefully it won’t be many, but it’s bound to happen. I learned this the hard way and we paid for about 13 “yes” people who ended up not coming for various reasons.
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Expert November 2020
Shirley · on August 31, 2020 at 10:07 PM
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This is the best bet I think
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Dedicated May 2022
Charlene · on August 31, 2020 at 11:55 PM
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I would replace them without a second thought, weddings are expensive and its a privilege to be apart of, it people can't respect your rsvp date, replace them with people who do want to come. I have limited space and I made it clear to everyone that if they didn't meet my rsvp date they will be replaced, we shouldn't have to chase people down to be apart of our special day.
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on September 1, 2020 at 7:02 AM
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If they verbally said "yes" - I'd accept it as a yes. Our RSVPs were due back yesterday and as of today, we're still missing 15 responses. We technically don't need to work on final preparations until next week so I built in a "cushion" window for late arriving mail and whatnot.
As for people that don't give their menu choice, you choose for them if Chicken or Meat... always choose chicken... that way it's a neutral, if they aren't happy with it, they should've RSVP'd.
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on September 1, 2020 at 7:22 AM
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I would include them especially if it is out of his control.
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Dedicated February 2021
Future Mrs. T · on September 1, 2020 at 7:58 AM
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I agree with the previous poster. Include them for now, but then when you final count is due be firm but polite in asking them whether they plan on attending.

Some venues are flexible in terms of they can easily take out guests rather than add them on so see if that’s an option for your venue as well. Our venue told us if we gave them a final count of 80 and paid for that much but only 70 showed up on the day they’ll comp us the difference. But if more people came then the final count then there’s an issue.
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on September 1, 2020 at 8:51 AM
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I agree, but at the same time, is it too much to ask for him to request the one day off for our wedding? Especially if he rsvpd ‘yes?’
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on September 1, 2020 at 8:53 AM
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My fiancé and I discussed it last night and said we would include them at this point, but I’ve reached out to his wife twice, to him twice, and it’s just becoming a burden I didn’t want. If they don’t show up, well then we know not to reach out to them in the future, and the friendship will probably not be the same
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on September 1, 2020 at 8:54 AM
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Oh my gosh! 13 people?! I’m so sorry you had to endure that! That’s what I’m trying to avoid, we don’t have that kind of money to waste on people who won’t even bother to show up
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Devoted October 2020
Futuremrsn · on September 1, 2020 at 8:56 AM
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That’s what I think as well! You are so right in your entire statement. When we attended their wedding, he handed us the invite two weeks before his wedding (as if he hadn’t originally intended to invite us) and then we never got a thank you card, and we didn’t speak for years, and didn’t know they had a baby! Just weird people!
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Master October 2022
Jana · on September 1, 2020 at 10:44 AM
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I think it's safe to assume he did request the day off. We are still in a pandemic that changes everyday and some people aren't able or ready to fully commit yes or no because they're waiting to see if things get better. It's a valid reservation to have, even though it's frustrating for you. Hopefully everything works out.
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