Another dilemma

Even though you don’t like him, it would be extremely rude to not invite your friend’s husband. This is the person she has chosen to share her life with, and while you may not agree with her decision, he’s in her life as her partner. For now at least, she has chosen to stay with him despite his previous actions, so you need to invite him since they are a social unit.

That would be awkward. I would let her know that she's invited and her husband isn't, but I wouldn't expect her to come. For me personally if someone invited me or my husband somewhere but not the other, neither of us are going.

Nicole is right, they’re married & are together. You can’t just invite 1 & not the other. This is your friend’s choice- you may not agree with it but it’s her life.

I agree with Nicole and Michelle. Couples are a package deal. Unless that guy has threatened to harm you or someone at the wedding, you can't really invite 1 and not the other. If anything, that can add tension to their relationship. Separately, talking with your friend about your concerns for her well-being is maybe something to consider, but her relationship is her choice.

Yeah unfortunately no matter how he treats her that is her man and if you do not invite him if anything it will make things bad for your relationship with her.

No, can't say my FH had a no invite list. I did, however. I don't want my mom's bf at my ceremony nor my FH's brother bc I didn't want to hear any negative commemts about the ceremony nor my attire. These two people have no filter.
Oh and I also wouldn't want to invite significant others from our siblings. These relationships are not serious and they have a new SO every few months.

I'm gonna go against the grain and say go for it! I also recommend you either call her or video chat with her explaining why her hubby is not invited. Just be prepared for her to not come though. Theres a good chance she may not come.
To be honest, it's partially your friend's doing that people have negative feelings about her hubby bc she shouldn't have told others about the negative things he was doing unless she was 100% certain their marriage was done.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!
I appreciate everyone’s advice on this but I appreciate yours the most lol you can see where I’m coming from with little detail. There are a few of his friends that I do not want coming because they are either bad people or on drugs and he has a few from my friends. I personally do not care for her husband because of what he did. He cheated with his ex baby momma and got her pregnant!!! She’s trying to forgive him but I also kinda don’t want him there because, why come to a wedding when he didn’t even follow through with his vows to begin with.

Unfortunately you have to invite both or neither. It's possible she may attend on her own but don't place all your bets on it.

Yes, invite your best friend’s husband. Although you have your opinions, it’s THEIR marriage and something for your BFF to handle, not you all.

View Quoted Comment

I fully understand why you and your partner don’t like this guy, and admittedly if it were my friend, I too would not be all too keen on him either.

With that said, your friend is trying to patch up the relationship and forgive him - she has made up her mind and you must respect that. You can choose not to invite him but be prepared that your friend may not attend your wedding / you will quite possibly lose her friendship.

I’m going to pose a question that may change the tone: is this person a messy drinker? Does he get drunk and disorderly? Is he violent towards people or easily frustrated when drunk? Has he caused public scenes before?


If yes, then you are actually able to not invite him because he is a literal liability to your venue and guests. It would be terrible if he caused property damage or started a fight.
If he is just a terrible person and can hold his liquor normally: then yes, he should be invited with his wife.
However, in the end, it’s your wedding! Do what you and FH feel is right!