"And Guest" not including on invitations but people are bringing guests anyway!

I really dont know how to respond to this but here's a suggestion. I recently went to a wedding were because there was limited seating in the reception hall, they had guest check in. If you bring more people than you rsvped for then you had to step to the side until they made sure they had any extra seats. I loved this idea so much that I am going to do it for my wedding. I suggest that you or someone else call and let the guests know that due to limited seating, there is no room for extra guests. I know that sounds harsh but it is what it is. The worst thing they could do is not show up.

A friend of mine had this start happening to her a couple months ago. She just called all of her friends that had replied for two and told them as politely as she could that because of space and budget they could only have people bringing fiance's spouses, that sort of thing. I didn't hear about anyone who was rude or outrageously upset with her about this. Everyone was pretty understanding. Hope that helps!

I haven't sent out my invitations yet but I am worried about the same thing, especially since most of those on the invite list are family and people might feel like they NEED a date. Also, budget is tight and unless a bunch of people can't come then we really can't afford the extra people. As I'm sure you know, wedding websites have become quite a popular addition to the traditional invitation. On my website, which I am not done with quite yet, I basically said "For now, no guests other than those stated on the invitation may attend the wedding (such as dates). Once we have received an accurate count of how many people we can expect at the wedding, we may be able to accommodate you. Thank you for your understanding." I think most people will be understanding of this if you let them know in advance

Just start making phone calls informing them that there isn't room & how sorry you are but that there will lots of people they know so they should have a great time & you can't wait to see them.

I feel your pain. Ive had several ppl reply with 5 as guests!! I have just sucked it up and delt with it, because I'm a wimp at telling ppl no.

But if you have a wedding planner or a mom who wants to step in let them be the bad guy. Have them call your guests and say " Hi! I have been put in charge of the rsvp's. (bride) has given me her master copy and I see where she has you down for just yourself and I see where your rsvp says 2. At this time shes only going to be able to accomodate those actually listed on the invitations....The money is realy getting tight. But what we can do is put your guest on a hold list and if we have enough space we will call you 2 weeks prior and let you know wheater we can accomodate him/her."

Or something to that affect. But you get the idea. Let someone else break the news. That way your hands stay clean, and you stay stress free.

I guess you just have to bite the bullet and call them and as politely let them know there isn't room for extra "Guests". If the friend is married, engaged, or in a serious relationship, then they should be entitled to have a guest per you inviting them of course, but those single friends, that isn't right for them to add someone that wasn't stated on the invitation you sent to them. I'm going in the route where I won't have time with a destination Vow Renewal I'm doing away with RSVP cards and getting a toll free but a live person at the other end that also provides a website, and they can call or e-mail us their replies. If they try to pull adding a guest when one wasn't stated on their invites, I'll let the RSVP service be the bad guy and tell them, sorry they're not on the list, they aren't invited. We can't add them. We're also going to call those single friends and ask if they're in a relationship or plan to bring a guest with them before sending out the invite, so that they can.

For this reason and this reason alone is why im having a seating chart. which i really didn't want to do but if someone wants to be rude enough to bring a guest that wasn't invited i'm going to be rude enough to deny them a chair to sit in. I don't care if they come bc the food isn't the issue here. it's the chairs! we only have 175 so if someone comes that didn't rsvp or wasn't invited at all...well they are tough out of luck for a chair! and i don't feel bad about doing it either. besides i get to make cute escort cards now! LOL

Like the last poster said, I'm having a check in list. U ain't on the list, u don't have a seat and definitely not a plate. People have to be considerate of people's budget. I have people inviting themselves or assumed they were on the list. I just can't. I'm trying to do something elegant with a nice plated meal I just can't pay $30 per plate for all these people and we also don't have the room. Call em and let them know that you don't have the space for no extra people.

This is very frustrating...especially when you addressed your invitations properly and people just don't know how to read an envelope! UGH!

You can and should call them and explain that while you would love for everyone to be able to bring a guest, you just don't have room (whether it's space or $ - up to you whether you want to explain the exact reason). The most important thing is to be consistent though. If you call a handful of people and they show up to find that nearly everyone else has a guest, they'll be pretty upset...so, whatever you decide to do, just be consistent.

One thing that may help is if you can say, "so-and-so will be there, I'll be sure you're seated with him/her so you're not 'alone' at dinner" or something like that

HTH!

Thank you everyone for your advice. So far I've only had 2 instances but the majority of my single friends still haven't responded so I'm sure it will occur again. I have an April 10th reply date. I think it could be a generational thing, I wasn't clear on the ettiquette until I read how to address the envelopes. So anyway I'm hopeful it will all turn out okay and no hurt feelings but we'll have to wait and see. Thanks!

Good luck on calling all of them. I'm waiting to see if I end up in the same boat. So far teh only ones who have "added" people are the ones that we expected too becuase I was too lazy to go back through my address list and add "and guest" or "and family" but yet my FH and I don't ahve alot of single friends either.

Well i may sound very tacky, but first off congrats to you. but i put on the respond card no guest so that they know if i didn't address it to them and a guest that they are not to bring anybody....or talk to the person or persons that you don't have room for them any their guest...hopefully they will understand

We're using WeddingWire's online RSVPs -- this way people can only RSVP for those who were invited. It's very clear who is and is not invited, and if someone has a concern they can write us a note when they RSVP.

I love KeepBabbling's idea about using the online RSVP tool. We haven't sent our invites out yet but this looks like a really easy way to minimize the chances of people RSVPing for boyfriends, friends, etc. who aren't technically invited.

We had a few people who were clearly invited as singles, but rsvp'd as 2 - they were all on my husbands side, so he made the phone calls & everyone was very understanding...when we sent the invites, if they weren't married, engaged, or living together, they were not invited as 'and guest' to try to keep the cost down for us - turns out a couple of the cousins that he didn't talk to often were living together,so they brought the 'guest' - it all worked out in the end though!!! as far as the online RSVP tool, that is a great idea for the younger generation, but i think you still need to do the old fashioned way too, i mean what about great-aunt emma? does she even know what a computer looks like?

Ugh, just received a rsvp for my daughter's wedding. The invite was for 2. They sent back an rsvp for 6. They included their two daughters and their boyfriends. Also another on the other side had an invite for 1 (older woman, no husband) and she sent back an rsvp for 3. Another friend of my daughter's just started dating a guy and texted saying she "is" bringing a plus 1. What is it that people don't get about wedding invited. Now trying to deal with this.