Am i wrong?

I don't think you're wrong for choosing a date that worked for you, but are you going to be OK if your friend declines your wedding? Are 16th birthdays a big thing in your social circle? They never were in mine. If they usually are and she'd be planning a huge party for her daughter, I'd just let her know that you'll understand if she can't make it.

I think your friend is being unreasonable. No matter what date you pick, it will fall on someone's birthday/anniversary/vacation. They can celebrate her 16th birthday on a different date such as the weekend before. Birthdays come every year, weddings come only once. Don't feel bad.

You cannot plan your wedding around everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries, graduations etc. I wouldn’t change your date.

You and your future spouse picked the date that works for the both of you. Don’t change the date just because your BFF doesn’t want her daughter’s special day taken away. I understand you want your BFF to be happy or excited for your big day. Like the other poster said, no matter the date, it will always fall on some other occasion. Just curious, are you planning to ask your BFF to be a MOH or bridesmaid if you are having a wedding party? She may pull all kinds of demands if she is making you feel you got to change the date.

You can't make everyone happy. Are 16th birthdays "milestones" in your/her circle? Cause she will only turn 16 once. And some do make a big deal out of it. Yeah, it's easy to say she can celebrate on a different day, but the same goes for your wedding if haven't booked anything other than just a date. And her actual birthday being on a weekend just happened to work out. If you don't want to change the date, don't. You will not be an AH for that. Your BFF looks to have made the decision to put more importance on her daughters 16th birthday. That's ok too. Both of you just have to accept that you will have different priorities and will just have to miss each other on that day.

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This is the proper take on this. Sweet 16 is a big deal for some people, so that may be where your friend's priorities are. Obviously your wedding is going to be your priority. It's perfectly fine that you both have different priorities, and neither of you are in the wrong for caring about them.

If you couldn't picture your day without your BFF, then that may require shifting things around to a different date, but if that specific date is something you can't do without then you'll likely have to accept that your BFF won't be there.

As others have said, there's always going to be SOMETHING going on for someone else on any given date, so at some point you have to draw the line. If you do switch dates because of your BFF's daughter's birthday, I'd make a point to hold firm on anything else pertaining to your wedding and not let your BFF call any more shots.

You both can have different priorities. It’s YOUR wedding day. If she wants to be upset, you cannot control that. Lots of happy events can happen on the same day. Enjoy your wedding and try not to let one opinion ruin it!

It is absolutely astonishing to me how people can make your wedding day about them. You are not wrong and I’m sure meant no harm.

Congrats! 🎉 Don’t feel guilty! Like others have said birthdays come every year. Would your bff decline her invitation simply because it’s her daughter’s birthday? Don’t let her opinion stress you out. Keep calm and carry on.

Thank you guys so much for your advice. They have all helped. I told her how I felt kindly and that it was not intentionally picked bc it was her daughters birthday and that I hoped we could work it out. Yesterday she text me to tell me that her and her mom would plan a special birthday trip for her daughter the weekend after my wedding. I was relieved to hear that / although I also hate the feeling that she is still upset underneath the surface and that she may resent me now or even me resent her, it’s left such a bad taste in my mouth after this. It should have never gotten to this, and i wish she didn’t make me feel that way about a date i felt was special. anyway, i will get over it and i hope she will too. it’s a year from now! thanks again guys!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this.

Are 16th birthdays a major milestone in your circle? They are not where we are. Can she still celebrate her birthday on another day? That’s common for adults. No matter what date is picked, it will be someone’s birthday or anniversary and it’s unreasonable to get upset over it. If she does decline and is that upset, I have to wonder if she doesn’t have other issues she’s dealing with and blaming on you. Unfortunately that’s a sign sometimes that the friendship isn’t where it used to be.

Yeah it’s not your problem. You can’t ask everyone what date works for them. You gotta do you

If you give up the date, will you feel resentful? I've learned that I cannot make everyone happy with my date, no matter what. I'm just holding firm and saying that's the date that works for us and our venue. The end. It's not up for debate. It's good to consider others, but it is ultimately your once in a lifetime day. Anyway, Sweet 16s are usually just a party, right? Not as big a deal as a wedding.

View Quoted Comment I hear this! One if my best friends (whom I was planning to ask to be a bridesmaid) threw a fit last night because my date (one year out) is the same weekend as a women's gathering she attended this year and wants to attend again. I was like...all our close women friends would be at my wedding 😕 My SIL also told me not to set my date around anyone else, and then 10 minutes later insisted I not hold my wedding the weekend of her baby shower (even though the weekend was ideal for us and family would be in town). People have criticized me for a Sunday wedding, when my friends all work Saturdays. People are ridiculous. You only get one wedding, and it's not about them.

View Quoted Comment You are 💯 on point with your comment! I think often times we get so wrapped up in Sweet 16, then turning 18..... we lose ourselves.

You guys planned well. The date you picked is for YOU. Everyone will understand of the importance of your special day so definitely DON'T feel guilty... they can celebrate that young lady's 16 birthday at anytime.

View Quoted Comment It is. and that date can be anyones special day not just one persons in the world. that’s how she made me feel like how i dare i pick her daughters bday but it wasn’t intentional and i am sticking to it. they will celebrate her special birthday the following weekend. and that’s what should have happened from the beginning, we will work it out don’t worry. the reaction was so selfish. but we are moving passed it and i’m sticking to the date bc it is special to us. thank you!

View Quoted Comment Good for you!!! Yeah, folks can show their true colors at the worst moments..... but I'm glad to hear the good news!
Lol
I can't wait till our day..... we both deserve it

View Quoted Comment Its terrible! but yes, thank you and i’m so happy for you! definitely deserved!