Am i wrong to feel this way?

While I can't tell you how to feel, I don't think she's being selfish at all. Your wedding doesn't stop the world from spinning.

I'm so sorry! I'd be bummed for sure. I was in a wedding in 2017. The bride gave us 9 months notice. One of her bridesmaids dropped out 1 month before the wedding. She had a baby 2 months before, didn't want to leave the baby with her mom & her husband couldn't get off work. She wasn't okay driving 5 hours alone with the baby. While her excuses were valid, she had 8 months to figure it out or turn it down. I even offered to pay for 1 night of her hotel to help with cost. It for sure affected their relationship.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I hope she does try harder to be there for you as you were for her. I would be hurt too. I had asked my friend of 15 years if she could be a bridesmaid she excitedly accepted too. Then it just became too much for her so we both agreed for her to get out. She is Full-time student, full-time mother to 4 kids and one is a newborn, and she is a full-time employee. + kiddos in sports and being gone most weekends.

She made the comment "even tho I am not in your wedding I will be there for everything and be by your side" bridal shower came around and she didn't show up. I highly doubt she's going to show up to my wedding and I contact her with no response.

It's sad when you feel rejected by someone you thought so highly of. So I get it.

But, this is YOUR day. YOUR day is going to happen with or without her. The way I see it, is it is her lost.

Continue on with the planning and have a blast. This day only happens once.

It sounds like she's just giving you a heads-up of worst case scenario. And even though it's close to your wedding it's still nicer of her to say, "hey this is a thing that might happen" than just not even mention it until it's actually happening. Honestly if they own a home and it's already the end of June it seems unlikely they'd be able to sell their current home and move to a new state in a little over a month. Also even just finding a new place to live in FL in a little over a month could be tricky. I wouldn't be surprised if she's just feeling a little overwhelmed with things moving kind of quickly.

I think it's fair for you to feel upset and hurt that one of your bridesmaids might not be able to make it to the wedding and maybe you could stress to her how important it is to you that she be there, but there's not really much you can do...I'm sure moving to FL wasn't a whim decision for them, it just might be a thing that's happening faster than they expected.

I think you are entitled to be hurt and disappointed at the prospect of her not being able to attend your wedding but I don't think she's being selfish. A new job and moving are very personal decisions that people make for themselves and their families. If this is a new great opportunity for her and her husband then I'm sorry but it does trump your wedding. A job affects your future and the future of your family and your wedding is a one day event and while it's very special to you and your hubby to be it does not mean that other people's lives get put on hold. I hope everything works out.

I think it's ok to be bummed she may not be able to make it to your wedding. But she and her H are making life decisions and honestly that SHOULD be more important than your wedding. Be bummed for a bit and then have a drink and try to be happy for her.

I can see her side in a way, but I do think it's selfish on her part. She made a commitment, I'm sure you both have invested money in the day, and by your description, it kind of seems like she had some flexibility. I would give her a deadline to let you know by. For example, I'm guessing you may need to print programs, give vendor headcounts, etc.

A hard truth: your day doesn't mean a dang thing to anyone except you and your future spouse. It sounds like shes trying to be there, she tried to start her new job after the wedding. But the job wants her August 1st. I'm sure they wouldn't move and get new jobs if it wasn't a better opportunity for them. And it sounds like she is trying to make it to your wedding, but moving is expensive, flights are expensive. The world doesn't revolve around you just because you have a wedding coming up. Its awesome that you were there for her and supported her and it sounds like she wants to be there for you too, the timing is just bad. You cannot be bummed out that someone had something important come up. When jobs arise that are better opportunites you take them no matter what is happening in your friends lives. I understand you being bummed, but honestly you cannot hold it against her. Put yourself in her shoes, what would you do? Would you be annoyed that your friend was mad that you made a life choice best for you??? Be happy for her in her new endevors and stop assuming people need to make such a huge effort for your event. Life happens, it won't ever stop. How you react to it 100% makes a difference.

I don't think you have a right to call her selfish because she is making decisions that are going to be best for her family going forward. You've already said that she originally told them September and they asked for August, which makes it seem like she did try. Like Allie said, your wedding doesn't stop the world from spinning, and doesn't mean other people should pass up opportunities to improve their lives just because of it.

100% agree with this. You're not wrong for feeling hurt (feelings aren't wrong in my opinion), but I think she's making the best move for her future and her family.