Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated July 2020

Am i overreacting?

Marissa, on February 13, 2020 at 8:01 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 10

Saved

Flag
Hide content

The bridesmaids and I made plans to go to DB this weekend for them to get fitted and order their dresses. (We are 5 months from the wedding btw) We all basically planned this outing, which is 45 min-1 hour of a drive, around one of my bridesmaids work schedules since she only gets 1 weekend off per month. Keep in mind we planned this weeks ago.

This morning, I wake up to a text from that bridesmaid that asks if I would be really mad if she couldn’t go Sunday. Now I understand things come up. But her reason? Because... wait for it... her and her bf want to go to a PHEASANT HUNTING CONVENTION. Now yes this is a big deal if you’re a hunter but she is not. At all. She’s never been hunting in her life. Only her is into it. And it’s 6 hrs away so they wouldn’t make it back in time by any means.
I’m mostly irritated due to the fact that we basically planned this around her. But I’m not one for confrontation or argument so I just said obviously I’m not happy but you’ll have to go sometime within the next few weeks. Which I am concerned about because she goes to school and works, only getting one weekend off per month. So I’m thinking when will she even be able to go soon?! It’s still really irritating me and not a great way to start off the day. Should I even be mad over this?

Flag
Hide content

10 Comments

Latest activity by Chantal, on February 13, 2020 at 12:19 PM

Dedicated May 2020
Allie · on February 13, 2020 at 8:09 AM
Flag

Hide content
I totally understand your frustration with the situation but for your own sake I would try to let it go. You still have 5 months and now it is up to her to get her dress. I would just say something along the lines of “let me know whenever you schedule your fitting and maybe we can have a girls day!” or something like that. Things happen that are out of our control and sometimes we just have to calm down and pick our battles unfortunately 😅
- Reply
Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on February 13, 2020 at 8:14 AM
Flag

Hide content
I understand your frustration, but what can you really do? I would just enjoy your weekend with the bridesmaids who do attend.
- Reply
Savvy December 2024
Ashleigh · on February 13, 2020 at 8:42 AM
Flag

Hide content
First, I want to say that no, you're not overreacting. You have every right to be pissed at her right now. She essentially inconvenienced you by making it difficult to plan a good time to get everyone together for this out of the way trip, only to render the entire reason for that particular day moot. That sucks, and it's okay to be angry.
That being said, the other commenters are right too. There's nothing you can do about it at this point. So, know that your feelings are valid and you're not overreacting, but also that they're probably not going to be helping things much, so it's best to try to set the anger aside and just really focus on investing yourself in enjoying your time with the rest of the ladies. The more you can do that, the better you'll feel, and maybe the easier it'll be to let this slide.
- Reply
Super August 2020
Alex · on February 13, 2020 at 8:45 AM
Flag

Hide content
You are completely in the right to be upset. I would say something along this lines:
I won't be mad if you don't come, but I would for sure be disappointing. I was so excited to get to spend time with all my bridesmaids, if you weren't there it would feel like a piece of the puzzle is missing. If you do end up not coming, it needs to be your responsibility to make time and schedule an appoint with DB and this needs to get done by _____. It is very important we get this done on time and this is a hard deadline. I am too busy with work and the wedding planning to have to plan a second day for this, so this needs to be your responsibility. I really do hope you come with us. I think it will be a fun day!
- Reply
Expert May 2021
Danielle · on February 13, 2020 at 8:56 AM
Flag

Hide content
She is really foul for that. Because you scheduled around is what really does it. I'd let her know how screwed up that is for sure. It's your wedding if she can't be there for you now when will she be there for you?
- Reply
Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 13, 2020 at 10:07 AM
Flag

Hide content
It’s super annoying but just go with the girls who are around and let her handle getting her dress herself. She’ll miss the fun outing and can go alone. And if she doesn’t get it on time she won’t be a bridesmaid
- Reply
Master June 2020
Anna · on February 13, 2020 at 10:14 AM
Flag

Hide content
I've been in more weddings that I can count. I've never gone to a fitting with the entire Bridal party, due to distance and or schedules.

I would not take it personally.If she has limited free time, I would be happy for my friend getting to spend time away with her boyfriend.
She has time to get fitted. I agree it's disappointing, but I would just let it go.
It won't take away from your day, enjoy who can make it and trust that she will follow through.
Time with our loved ones is important , you are a good friend for understanding.
Congratulations! It will work out! Don't worry!
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on February 13, 2020 at 10:35 AM
Flag

Hide content
That's annoying. But you know what, you can still go with the other girls and just let this bridesmaid figure it out on her own and if she can't then she can be a guest
- Reply
Super March 2020
kymarmck · on February 13, 2020 at 11:29 AM
Flag

Hide content
Definitely not overreacting!
I was lucky enough to have all my girls go with me and purchase their dresses same day to get it out of the way. Now I'm just having issues with a bridesmaid not having alterations done (due to health issues, so I get it) and we're 36 days out.
One thing I've learned though is to just let it go. If she doesn't get a dress and get it altered on time, then she can attend as a guest. Sucks, but it is what it is.
Enjoy the day you have with the BMs who can attend
- Reply

Expert May 2021
Chantal · on February 13, 2020 at 12:19 PM
Flag

Hide content
DO NOT feel guilty for being upset. Your irritation is definitely justified! But I would try to let her know how you are feeling, just so there isn't any bitterness on your special day between you two. If she's a good enough friend to be a bridesmaid, then she should understand your frustrations.
You are really on top of your bridesmaid planning, by the way! That's great! I know how it feels to be pressured to get everything done NOW NOW NOW but five months away is still a really great timeline. Enjoy the day with the people who will be there and try not to let it mess up your fun! A lot of wedding planning can feel stressful, but dresses are for having a great day and looking beautiful!
- Reply