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Just Said Yes September 2020

Am i Over reacting??

Georgina, on January 12, 2020 at 6:33 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7

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So my h2b and I have been together 7yrs, had 2 children and now are getting married in September. He is Cypriot and we have decided to have the wedding in Cyprus. His brother has been with a girl barely 7months to a Cypriot girl who lives here in London. My h2b family all live in Cyprus but him and his brother here in London. Suddenly because we are now getting married, his brothers girlfriends parents have pushed for them to also get engaged. Apparently this now happening! Not only that, but they are doing some big engagement/promise ceremony for them and going to do it in February, on my 'wedding trip' where Me and my h2b are doing all our arrangements and tastings with the venue.

Do you not think that this is stealing our thunder? I am really upset that we didn't receive the same treatment and that our wedding is somehow now playing 2nd fiddle to their engagement. Can't help but feel like it's coz I'm not Cypriot.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Jayne, on January 13, 2020 at 1:53 PM

Devoted January 2021
gratia01 · on January 12, 2020 at 6:45 PM
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Definitely sounds like your wedding plans are being downplayed. I would be upset too! There is the possibility that they want you and your h2b at this event and that's why they planned it during your trip, but it does sound pretty inconsiderate since you two were engaged first and no one is seeming to care very much.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 12, 2020 at 7:30 PM
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Yeah they are trying to take your thunder. Have you spoken to your FH about this? I would have him speak to his parents and ask that they do it another day so everyone can focus on your wedding.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on January 12, 2020 at 7:35 PM
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Personally I think that’s rude of them to do during tour wedding trip. I would have your FH talk to his family and have them understand how you feel.
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Expert September 2022
Allie · on January 12, 2020 at 8:19 PM
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Wait are they doing the ceremony during your actual wedding? Or a trip where you are doing wedding planning? If it’s during your wedding weekend, I agree that it seems like they’re stealing your thunder. If it’s just during the trip where you’ll scout out stuff for the wedding, I think it’s less of a big deal (and probably more driven by the convenience of you guys being in town).
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Devoted October 2020
A · on January 12, 2020 at 11:35 PM
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I had something quite similar (although I think it’s because my and my future wife are both women and her sister just got engaged to a man). You just have to keep up the solidarity and talk it out with your future husband. At the end of the day, it’s him that matters most!
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January 2014
Pam · on January 13, 2020 at 12:06 PM
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The brother's girlfriend's parents are doing this; they are not involved in your life so why would you be upset that they didn't treat you like this?
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Dedicated June 2022
Jayne · on January 13, 2020 at 1:53 PM
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I agree with Pam. After reading your post a second and third time, it does sound as if this is her parent's plans and not planned by your future in-laws. Your future in-laws are caught in the middle. Please have some understanding for them. This promise ceremony etc doesn't have to interfere with your plans for the trip. Both can be worked in. I think the future "sil" and your fiance's brother are trying to include you by doing it when they know you will be there rather than making you either miss it or make another trip. Try to look on the bright side, instead of thinking of this trip as part of your wedding festivities, think of it for what it is, a trip to work out details, not some competition. That would only cause problems I don't think they intend.
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