Am i in the wrong? Surrogate father of the bride

I personally would have had my mother walk me down the aisle or walked down alone. It seems a bit odd to me to have a coworker that you have known for 5 years have the honor of walking you down the aisle. I can see why your mother is upset. She raised you and you are asking a coworker to walk you down the aisle.

I can see how your mother may be taken aback a bit by this as she very likely has little to no relationship with this person. Personally, I would have divided the walk, as he walks you 1/2 way up, she's waiting there, then she walks you the rest of the way. Also, the person walking you doesn't have to be male, so she could have walked you as well.

Its your day and its your decision, one of the biggest issues i had to come to terms with when planning my wedding is that most people dont agree with you. But its not their day it yours! Do what makes you happy!

Yes, you're in the wrong. You should have asked your mother, who raised you, to walk you down the aisle over a coworker. It doesn't have to be a father figure, especially if there wasn't one. She's obviously upset because she sees it as a very public statement that you aren't close to your brothers or worse.

It sounds like your mom may have been expecting to walk you down the aisle. I think a lot of parents would be offended to have a child's coworker of 5 years have that representation instead of someone who's been consistent through their life. I would rethink the whole thing. Do you really want your coworker (who could quit, retire, you can get fired any day, etc.) to play such a crucial role when there's a chance you have no relationship in the future? Idk.

That you aren't close or worse, meaning there's a serious rift in the family. My guess is she's worried about appearances.

First and foremost, no, you are not in the wrong. I think it is a lovely gesture that is a very high honor to the gentleman you are having walk you down the aisle. I also agree with you that unless you were close to your brothers, it would feel awkward having them walk you down the aisle.

Secondly, if your mother doesn't know too much about this man, other than, "He's a co-worker" and "He set ____ and I on our blind date", then I don't blame her for feeling a bit taken aback. However, I do feel that she is overreacting to the situation, and from how your post was written, I don't know if your mother, and your sister's father are still together. (It doesn't sound like they are, but I could be mistaken.)

I will say this, as gently as I can, but, if your mother is not with your sister's father, and/or not currently in a relationship, I feel that there is some underlying unrest on her part because it seems like what she may want is the appearance of a "united" or "close-knit" family, which is the opposite of what her life has been. It is not your fault, and only you can decide to what degree your mom had to play in how close-knit you and your siblings and blended family are.

I am not saying that your mom is responsible for your biological father walking out, or that she is the main reason why relationships have or have not worked out. Only you know the reasons.

If you wanted to offer an "olive branch" if she hasn't met your "surrogate" dad, have a talk with her that is more in depth about your relationship with this man, and offer to take them out to lunch so they can meet. From your post, your mother's reaction was volatile, and I would recommend bringing your fiancé with you, and giving both your "surrogate" dad and your fiancé a run down regarding how your mom reacted, and what to do in a "what-if/ worst case scenario".

At best, your mom may see the dynamic between the three of you, and be reserved but cordial (she doesn't strike me as the type to be overly accepting). At worst, she says or reacts inappropriately, and the three of you leave.

Please take solace in the fact that you are taking steps to create a healthy marriage with your fiancé and those who choose to stay in your life. Some people are blessed enough to have supporting families and friends, while others don't have a large support system. You should not be expected to be the peacemaker or reach out to everyone. You are doing what is best for you in the most thoughtful and considerate way, the rest is up to them.

Your feelings are valid. It's your wedding, and choosing someone who has supported you and played a significant role in your life is completely understandable. Explain this to your mom gently. This day should reflect your journey and meaningful relationships. You're not in the wrong. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Note:-

I am Sammey i am Working on Uno Minda private limited