Am I Evil???

That is a tough one. I dont think you are evil, I totally understand only wanting 5, but I think it would be tough to try giving hints that it is okay if they dont want to do it, except with the one who wants to get pregnant. That one you could bring up when you talk about dress shopping...just ask if she thinks with trying to get pregnant it may complicate things and tell her you would understand if it wasnt going to work out, then u leave it up to her. As for the others I dont know, I guess it depends on how excited they are to be in the wedding and how you feel they would take it, but it could ruin your friendships.

One thing you could do to keep them involved and soften the blow (especially if one is full of drama like you said) maybe make one a reader, one a gift attendant, and find another job for the other (maybe the one trying to get pregnant won't mind sitting out or something. swollen ankles are not fun to stand on lol). if one has a really good singing voice, you can ask her to sing a solo as you're walking down the aisle or lighting the unity candle if you're having one. good luck!

I think its a complicated situation. Be upfront, tell them you really have been thinking and you think that maybe your going to stick with 5 girls instead of eight. If they respect you, they should respect their decision. Afterall, being a bridesmaid is not a really big deal(I know it sounds bad, but you only hold the title for a day). So don't feel you have to have all eight, especially if they haven't gotten to involved as in dress shopping. You're not evil, your just trying to do what you think is best on your day.

I don't think you are being evil, and I say it's your wedding so you should really do what's gonna make you comfortable. But if your decision is to nix them from the wedding I would say it's best to tell them as soon as possible and not let it linger on, because it may cause some hard feelings if you hold off telling them. Also, there are so many things people can do at your wedding and still share in your special day, so maybe you can have them do something else. Maybe be hostesses and help ushers seat guests, passing out programs, managing the guest book and gift tables, lighting the ceremony candles or doing a reading.

OMG this exact same thing happened to me... and while i am SOOO happy to have them all be part of my day it is a little overwhelming to have 8 bridesmaids... I wanted 5, knew there was no way I was going to end up with that many and in the whirlwind of the engagement and being excited I ended up with almost 9!!! I have my MOH, my 3 best friends from college, 1 best friend from high school, 1 best friend from elementary school, my fiance's brothers girlfriend (who i am very close to, but really didnt think she would end up one) and 2 cousins... one other person I wanted to be in the wedding I asked to do a reading and sing and she completely and totally not happily declined... it was a disaster!!! So now I have 8 Bridesmaids ranging in the ages of 18-27... I know how you feel... I just told myself they all obviously wanted to be there for me and be a part of MY day so why tell them they cant be????

My Story: I wanted 8 Bridesmaids. 1 friend bowed-out as she was pregnant; another as she couldn't afford to pay for her dress/shoes/hair & I offered to pay, but she wouldn't go for it. The 6 remaining Bridesmaids: my sis, sis-in-law, cousin(& best friend), my [non-related] best friend since 10th grade (all GREAT choices). The last 2 though: a friend who moved away & we keep in touch, but we're not close. I hadn't known her that long, but we were really good friends at the time. I don't regret having her & we e-mail every 6-12mos now (8yrs later & @ this time I wouldn't choose her) & lastly: My best friend since 5th grade. She barely hemmed her dress in time & way past-due by my deadline(her husband did it the night before!)-I didn't see her for mos after, she didn't return calls/letters. She did this about 6yrs prior too & she always had issues. She was always flaky & surrounded by drama. I wouldn't choose her today. Have who you WANT, try to be gracious if you cancel anyone.Good luck!

Your not evil if you don't want them you don't want them end of story and they will just have to deal with it.

You are not evil girl! I was suppose to have five and ended up with two. One of them was a best friend since I was five! We fell out over her jealousy that I could financially have my wedding and she couldnt. I tried to help her the best way I could emotionally. My other two couldnt afford it and I was not going to pay for it!

Well, I ended up losing a friend and bridesmaid during my own wedding. But, I will say, I don't think it's really right to kick someone out because they are planning on getting pregnant. Two of my four bridesmaids were pregnant, one was VERY pregnant, about 36 weeks. So if you have someone who is being a drama queen and making you unhappy, by all means, you should debate on if you a) want her in your wedding b) want her in your life period. I think if you are planning on removing people from your party, you should also think about the fact they will be very hurt, and you are very likely cutting them out of your life period. So it's a lot to think about. Good luck.

Dont do it girl! I had originally picked all of the bridesmaids that I wanted which was 6.I have an niece that kept bugging me to be a bridesmaids even though I explained to her that it was very expensive to be in a wedding and offered to let her be a reader or something of that nature she stated no and continously begged to be a BM well I eventually agreed and now I regret it.Because I try to do everything with my girls to kinda make things fun and although I give them plenty of advanced notice about the dates that I am planning to do things (picking out dresses,shoe shopping etc)on so that they may have their monies out of the 7 she is always the one that is never prepared which throws a monkey wrench in everybody elses program its to the point that I am ready to just tell her she is out.I feel that I picked the original BM's and not her for a reason and everytime that she is unprepared it reminds me why.It's just too many problems.

Thank the LORD I'm not the only one feeling evil....I have similar issue, except I only want one matron of honor, maid of honor, and bridesmaid. Three total! But I have a friend since middle school, that my fiance doesn't like...we stopped talking for almost two years, but she haphazardly popped up in my life again, and automatically assumed the role of bridesmaid, even though I didn't ask her...I've tried letting her down easy, but she always comes back with a rebuttal...I can't win...you're not evil...kick off the drama, because your bridal party is your support for a happy union...GOOD LUCK! I'm going to post for advice, maybe someone will have an answer for both of us...

Not evil at all! I also ended up as of now with 8 and I want to replace 2 of my cousins with 2 great friends who are genuinely excited for me and want to help. My cousins haven't even called me once to see how the plannings going and how they can help. So, why do I want them in my bridal party? The trick is getting out of the offer. Just use budget issues girl. You can't afford it. That should do the trick.