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Just Said Yes November 2019

Am i being too much of a spoiled brat?

Courtney, on July 9, 2019 at 3:01 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 17

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So. Here's a little back story. I've been with my fh going on 6 years in September. He proposed last October. We had a date and venue picked out that following November. So our wedding has been in the books for 8 months. Our wedding will be in November of this year. My brother started dating someone November of last year. They dated for like 4 months then broke up. They just got back together last month and he proposed to her. I was happy for them. He said he didn't want to step on my toes or anything. Well, we just got a text message yesterday saying he proposed, she said yes, and the wedding will be in September of this year. So he is squeezing an engagement and a wedding in before our wedding. I'm taking it as disrespectful and I feel like he is seeing it as a competition because his little sister would be getting married before him. He has said it wasn't a competition for him but that's hard to believe having grown up with him. Also, his fiance doesn't like me or anyone in my family for that matter. Am I reading too much into this? Am I being a spoiled, whiny brat? Or is my anger justified?

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17 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on July 9, 2019 at 5:56 PM

Champion October 2018
Kelly · on July 9, 2019 at 3:09 PM
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You are allowed to have your feelings about it but he’s also allowed to get engaged and married when he wants. Let yourself be upset and angry for a little while but then try and move on and focus on your wedding.
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Expert October 2020
Futuremrsm · on July 9, 2019 at 3:12 PM
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My sister tried to pull the same thing when I got engaged! (Shes older) she told me that i needed to move my weddimg date (october) because she wanted to get married in september of the same year, mind you she isn't even engaged. I don't think you're reading too much into it, nor are you being a spoiled brat. Its not like its a mystery when your wedding is. And considering you have the same family, he is expecting the same people to give wedding gifts so close to each other. I don't think he is being fair and you have every right to be upset.
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Master October 2019
Laura · on July 9, 2019 at 3:17 PM
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That's pretty much what I was thinking too. I'd be hurt of course, but also want my brother happy. I don't think he's thinking about hurting anyone, he's in love.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on July 9, 2019 at 3:18 PM
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"Am I reading too much into this?" I think so, yes. Sometimes an engagement and a wedding is just an engagement and a wedding. You get your one day and your brother gets his one day.
"Am I being a spoiled, whiny brat?" Have your feelings, but keep them to yourself. If you whine about this to your brother/other family, then yes, you are being a spoiled, whiny brat.
"Or is my anger justified?" What purpose would anger possibly serve? Again, you can have your feelings, but there is no justification to act on them. Feel them then move on and focus on your day and your marriage.
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VIP April 2019
Nikita · on July 9, 2019 at 3:27 PM
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You're certainly allowed to be hurt and feel like he's stepping on your toes. But it is his choice, and his decision may have been exactly how he described it, and he simply didn't take you into account. Maybe they really wanted to do a Summer wedding and decided they didn't want to wait until next year, who knows?
I do not think you're a spoiled brat for feeling justifiably put out. But if you allow this hurt to manifest into your interactions with him and around his wedding, then yes, you are.
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on July 9, 2019 at 3:34 PM
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I’d be PO’d as well. But I wouldn’t say anything and just keep it to myself because they have every right to do it even though I agree it hurts.
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Super July 2019
Rachel · on July 9, 2019 at 3:38 PM
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I do think he’s being rude personally but since you can’t control what he does (not that he’d understand anyway because if he did he wouldn’t have done that in the first place) so I’d just not think too much about it. They don’t seem like they’re a very stable couple seeing as how they started dating, broke up and are now getting married all in under a year. I wouldn’t even put any emotion toward them at all just because they seem really impulsive.
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Super October 2019
Kelly · on July 9, 2019 at 3:41 PM
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You know your brother the best, and know how he is. For a 4 - 5 month courtship followed by a shorter engagement, I would be upset & suspicious too.
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Super July 2020
D · on July 9, 2019 at 3:58 PM
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I'd be ticked off too. However the short amount of time they dated and have now been back together coupled with the stress of planning a wedding -- I'd be surprised if there was a wedding. No ill wishes! Just you know, surprised.
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Lady · on July 9, 2019 at 4:06 PM
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Yes, you're overreacting. Them getting married 2 months before you really doesn't affect your wedding at all. Be annoyed for a day, have a margarita, and then move on.
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Expert November 2019
Kiley · on July 9, 2019 at 4:17 PM
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I think your feelings are justified.. Take time to be angry and upset, but then focus back in on your day. Remember that it's your day and no one can take that from you!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on July 9, 2019 at 4:41 PM
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I’d be hurt and annoyed. Just don’t share any details in case your FSIL decides to steal them. But other than that, yes, focus on your wedding and don’t worry what your bro plans.
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Expert May 2020
Erin · on July 9, 2019 at 4:51 PM
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I understand being annoyed, because I definitely would be too. HOWEVER, you both have the right to plan your own wedding how and when you want to. I would just take it all in gracefully and vent to your FH about it lol (that's what I'd do).
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on July 9, 2019 at 5:23 PM
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I would just not worry about it, and focus on your wedding. The good thing is, yours was planned first & his is two months before. I'd send out save the dates ASAP so people get your date on the books prior to his.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on July 9, 2019 at 5:32 PM
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It's totally normal and okay for you to feel angry, but as PPs said try not to fester in your frustration! I think what your brother did was wrong and inconsiderate. Be the bigger person, even though it can be hard!
And congratulations on your engagement and upcoming beautiful wedding
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VIP August 2019
Futuremrsk · on July 9, 2019 at 5:43 PM
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You're allowed to feel however you want about the situation. As for stepping on your toes, hes really not. 2 months before your wedding is ample time in between events. You get one day, your brother gets one day. And who knows, they may not even make it to the wedding given their tumultuous history. I would let your feelings happen, and then focus on your wedding.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 9, 2019 at 5:56 PM
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I'd be annoyed, my brother is totally trying the same thing. He wants to propose to a girl he's been dating a few months when my sister and I have been dating the same person for 3 and 8 years. It'll also be his third marriage. 🙄
But that being said you can't control other people, don't share and venue, catering, or decor ideas you have with them just incase.
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