Am i being silly?

Your feelings are never wrong, it's what you do with them that matters. It's understandable that this would bother you, but I would just let it go. There are a lot of reasons why she may have changed her plans. If you really feel like you need to say something go, "that's a shame, I was really looking forward to it!"

I think its okay to be dissapointed, but you can't control everyone's every move. Take some nice photos and be glad she's involved in those

I would let it go. It’s a shame she doesn’t want to do that with you and she’s the one that will miss out. At least you invited her to be part of it. Enjoy the people that will be with you.

Your feelings are always valid. At the same time, your FMIL may have good reason. Your FMIL may have had something come up for earlier in the day and feels she can get ready faster on her own or may want to be ready early to make sure she is available in case anything is needed last minute (i.e. FH forgets socks and needs someone to run to the store). Things happen and she might just want to be ready to assist. Even if you already have someone else to take care of those things, I find most parents want to be ready for anything. She may also have realized she is far more comfortable getting ready at home. For guys, getting ready takes 15-20 minutes but for girls, it is usually a bit longer. I wouldn't take it personally. If it keeps gnawing at you, it is okay to have a conversation with her IN PRIVATE about it but try not to make it a huge deal.

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I love and second this response!

Yea I can see your disappointment. I'd also let it go though and just say to her the invite if she wants to get ready with y'all is still open if she wants to or changes her mind later

What is she doing instead? I know at my FBIL's wedding, mom and sister didn't get ready with us (originally they were supposed to) because they chose to have their hair and makeup professionally done by a friend.

View Quoted Comment She’s not doing a thing. Just doesn’t feel like it now and is staying home to do her hair and makeup. Not coming until right before photos, so she won’t help (although I didn’t ask her to help with anything before)

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I feel like that's strange, especially since dad is going... Maybe you or FH should talk to her about not wanting her to be left out, especially in getting ready pictures and memories.

I wouldn't let this hurt you too much She's an adult who can make her own decisions

View Quoted Comment This isn’t the first time she’s done a low-key rude thing to me... I created a family cookbook combining submitted family recipes for both our families to give away at the wedding and she said it was pointless and dumb... even though she had stated she wants to do this for years apparently.
So I think it’s just a personal thing and she doesn’t want to partake in anything to celebrate us or me coming into the family.

View Quoted Comment She actually didn’t give any reason and isn’t helping before the wedding. There is a slight chance her other actions leading up to this have been misread and she doesn’t dislike me, and perhaps you’re right on the last part. She could be more comfortable at home.

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Well that stinks, I'm so sorry! Don't let her rain on your parade! Enjoy the day with or without her!

View Quoted Comment That’s pretty much how I responded! Thanks ❤️😊

View Quoted Comment Thanks honey!!! I will ❤️😊 Wish she would be more happy for us and allow us to bond but other people are right and you can’t control someone