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Bella
Dedicated October 2020

Am i being selfish?

Bella, on April 19, 2020 at 8:37 PM Posted in Planning 0 15
So one of my friends who I've been friends with for about 2 years, me and my fiance hang out with her and her husband alot. My fiance and her husband are way closer then me and her even though technically I knew both of them first. We are good friends but not exactly besties. Anyways when I got engaged she kept asking me whos your maid of honor like over and over. I knew she was waiting for me to ask her. Then one night we was hanging out and she registered us to go to a wedding convention. I thought she did it for me. Him and her are married but never had a wedding because they couldn't afford it. The day of the wedding convention they came over and they set there date for june of 2023. Okay cool. I WAS going to ask her at the convention to be my maid of honor. Till we get there and she was more worried about her wedding, she was not being "my person". Then she goes oh i would ask you to be my maid of honor but i asked someone else 3 years ago and sooo i cant go back on my word, so ill just have you be my bridesmaid. Like um okay? Then she decides if shes not my maid of honor that her husband cannot be best man. Oh and her mom bought her a wedding dress 3 years ago. She decides she wants another one and schedules her appointment for the same day as me. Isnt that suppose to be my day? I mean im not being bridezilla so i didnt say anything but it was kinda like what the heck. I literally think they set a date for the renewal just because we had been doing wedding planning with them and she was getting all whiny because they never had a wedding.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Autumn, on April 20, 2020 at 3:51 PM
  • Neeva
    VIP September 2020
    Neeva ·
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    Wow...demanding to be someone's MOH or their husband won't be the BM is kind of insane. I would say that you should definitely not make her your MOH. She seems like she is purposefully trying to steal the spotlight and make this about her so I think your feelings are valid. I wouldn't make a big deal of it, just plan your events and enjoy your day!

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  • Kaitlin
    Dedicated January 2022
    Kaitlin ·
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    I'd say she has shown her true colors at the right time and you've dodged a bullet. Not selfish at all on your part.

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  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
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    That’s pretty messed up of her to not only dictate to her husband who can be his best man, but to also causally just push your fiancé to the side. I’d say to just stop sharing wedding details with her and enjoy your planning and day with people who are really there for you. I’d also change my dress appointment date.
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Yeah this is weird. Sounds like she’s planning her belated wedding out of jealousy of yours. Maybe say something? Like yes I’m excited for you guys but let’s try not to combine our dates on such these big days (wedding dress shopping)
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Agreed! It could’ve been worse down the road if you already made her your MOH.
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Yeah it’s ridiculous! I’ve been to plenty of weddings where one spouse of was a MOH or BM and the other spouse was just a bridesmaid or groomsmen, does not matter if they walk with you or not for half a minute lol.
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  • Bella
    Dedicated October 2020
    Bella ·
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    Thats my whole thing. She never hardly said anything about her wedding till we took her and him with us to see our venue the 2nd time we went out there and once we started wedding planning then all of sudden shes all "i want a wedding" like i feel bad she didnt have one cuz every girl deserves it but she never said anything till she seen we were having an actual wedding. And hers isnt for three years. Places wont even book them yet.
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Sounds like this person has some major jealousy issues. On the plus side, you dodged a bullet here by not having her as your MOH

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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Oh wow I didn’t realize hers was additional three years out. At that point it’s like why does she need to plan her overlapping your activities 🤦🏻‍♀️I get that she’s excited but three years out is a little prematurely to get a dress
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  • T
    Devoted August 2020
    Tina ·
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    That girl is way out of line. I called her a girl because that’s what she’s acting like. If you had another person to be as maid of honor pick that one. Shouldn’t have to be forced to pick her. I would tell both her fiancé and your fiancé. They need to know what a kid she’s acting like. Wait she’s married ? Oh my goodness he married a real piece of work. 😅 she doesn’t need another dress. My opinion is change your date don’t tell her. It’s your day she’s just jealous and crazy.
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  • Mrs.a
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    I agree! She should not being holding the best man hostage as some form of blackmail to get what she wants. It’s petty in my mind.
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  • Bella
    Dedicated October 2020
    Bella ·
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    She said she just wanted a simple reception dress but no she ended up getting another wedding dress. It was on the $99 sale but still. Shes been trying to call caterers and stuff and most say they won't even book till a year to 18 months.
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Yeah I have definitely heard a lot of places won’t book that far out.
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  • S
    Beginner June 2020
    Spenser ·
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    You are not being selfish at all, you are noticing her real personality.

    If i was you, I would keep wedding things to myself and not share nything with her at all. Keep your distance. She is looking for drama and attention and to eventually cast blame and call you the jealous one. Wait and see (hope I am wrong).

    Definitely like the other ladies have shared, don't even bother having her as a maid of honor or even bridesmaid. She will probably gossip about you as your wedding planning progresses without her being included (which is basically her chances of trying to put you down), but in this day and age you don't need to put up with people like that.

    She suddenly wants a wedding of her own because your own wedding is starting to get the attention and she is not liking that. So that whole 3 years thing... that may be the case, but she just wants to overshadow you right now. Any reasonable human being planning a wedding date 3 years from now, is not gonna start planning for dresses or anything like that. If she was a nice person, she wouldn't come up with those things NOW. So tread carefully because it's potential drama coming your way. She is definitely jealous.

    I say all this because it is similar to other situations I have witnessed before. And people like that will definitely be annoying as time progresses.


    Congratulations on your wedding and hopefully you don't get any unnecessary headaches from her!

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  • Autumn
    Devoted July 2020
    Autumn ·
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    Honestly just based off of what you have told this person isn't really truly your friend

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