I want to post this on the forums because I want to make sure I'm not overreacting or being rude.
So we need servers for our lemonade bar and food, and a "friend" who is helping me plan said that she could find us some help if we just told her how much we will pay. For context, she plans tons of events for schools and her church and is very good at it but she is much better off than we are so a lot of times her view of a budget is ridiculously expensive for us. We aren't able to afford a professional server and we are self-catering and because we are doing it buffet style where everything is single serve, we need a server according to new COVID rules from our venue. We are able to pay $8 an hour (since we need two servers that will be $16 an hour out of pocket for us) and will feed them of course.
Anyways, apparently she feels that the amount we are able to pay will get us "a 14 or 15 year old who may not know how to serve properly...if you are really serious about being safe you need to pay at LEAST $10-$12." First of all, I've been working in food service since I was 16 so I don't understand why that age is a reason to not hire someone to put ice in cups and hand people a skewer. Secondly we accepted this "friends" help to save money on a wedding planner since we are on a tight budget and since she has stepped in we have had to shell out hundreds of dollars in florals and decor and changed my vision because she "knows how to do these things." I mentioned this to my mom and she said that we should just have my aunts, uncle and cousin do it since "families are supposed to help with the wedding...parents and siblings no, but aunts and uncles and cousins should help, plus your aunt can't sit still anyways." I'm sorry but I am under the impression that asking family to help at your wedding, that they spend money to travel to, is EXTREMELY rude, no matter how they are related. If they were in the wedding industry and I hired them, that's a totally different story, but not just because they'll be there, and especially not if my mom isn't willing to help with anything.
Am I being a jerk for not asking my family to serve at our wedding? Should I pay more, or is that reasonable? We don't need a professional, but I don't want to be a cheapskate and our budget can't handle much more of these unexpected costs.
