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Mallory
Just Said Yes January 2021

Am I allowed to invite people to my shower?

Mallory, on November 19, 2020 at 1:56 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14
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This isn’t a question regarding WHO I can invite, but rather how I can invite them?
My MOH is throwing me a bridal shower with our church women’s group (We’re approaching this in a way similar to a shower thrown by coworkers, since we worked at the church for many years). She made a Facebook event for it. However, many of the people in the group aren’t friends with her on Facebook, and she asked me to add who I wanted to the group. Is it poor etiquette for me to send them an invitation to the event, since I’m the bride and therefore not supposed to host? Even though my MoH is the host, will it still be perceived as gift-grabby?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Soon2Bemarried, on November 23, 2020 at 12:17 AM
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag

    I would personally want to have a paper invite to a shower! Not many people check their fb's everyday, and sometimes the site/app glitches and you can't see notifications from groups/events that you are in.

    Would it be possible to just DIY invites and send them to those that she doesn't have on fb? Or maybe you can give her a list of the people left to invite and she can add them on fb so they can be part of the group? You could notify the ones she's adding onto fb that she's adding them for that reason and to not be alarmed if they see someone they don't know adding them on fb!

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    No, i dont think it's poor ettiquite at all. Though you may want to consider maiking out physical invites.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Yes. Buy her a box of party invitations with lines to fill in, and a book of stamps. Since she is willing to invite them , her doing it would make you less gift grabby. She is the hostess.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    It isn't poor etiquette for you to invite people you want considering it's a shower for you and i would have thought they'd ask you who to invite anyway.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Judith has a great idea. I’m glad she’s getting your input on who to invite. My sister is my MOH & I’ve told her what I wanted & who to invite for my bachelorette/ lingerie party. I don’t do the bar thing so that’s out.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna Online ·
    • Flag

    I think the best solution is to not make it a Facebook event. Give your MOH a list of names and either addresses or emails of the people you want to be invited, and have her either send out invitations via mail or evites via email.

    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine Online ·
    • Flag

    You can give her a list of names and addresses and have her mail the invitations out

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Mailing physical invitations would be much easier. Not everyone has a FB and those who do don't always check it. By physically mailing invitations, she can make sure everyone gets one whether she knows them or not.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    My sister threw my bridal shower and she did physical invites, but she asked me for the guest list as most of the people on there she didn’t know. This way there were no mistakes.
    • Reply
  • Mallory
    Just Said Yes January 2021
    Mallory ·
    • Flag
    Hey y’all!! I thought I had responded to Shelly but apparently not.
    The reason we cannot mail invitations is twofold
    1.) my MoH waited until the very last minute to throw this together. The shower is scheduled for tomorrow. She’s done nothing but rent a room.2.) and it is a mostly virtual event due to Covid. I understand the etiquette overall, and that mailed is better. Everything is falling apart and while I appreciate your responses, I need a little bit more specific of advice here 😅.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    For short notice a phone call is fine, and she as hostess should call and ask.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    If the shower is tomorrow and these people have not been invited yet, then my advice would be to leave it at that and simply move on. I would be very taken aback to receive a shower invite for the next day (as a guest, I would feel like an afterthought). The good news is that if your wedding is in January and you have a significant number of friends who weren't invited to this shower, then you still have time for somebody else to throw you another shower (if they offer) without the guest list overlapping.

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Normally, I would say that it's bad etiquette to invite people, when your MOH is hosting. But in this situation, it sounds like some of the people you want there won't be there unless you invite them.

    I also agree that a FB post/group is a poor choice for a shower, but what's done is done. I think under these highly rushed circumstances, it would be fine for you to invite some people that she isn't FB friends with.

    • Reply
  • Soon2Bemarried
    Dedicated October 2022
    Soon2Bemarried ·
    • Flag
    The MOH is hosting it and you aren’t taking that from the MOH, so it’s not wrong if you mention a few people you’d like to be present at your bridal shower.
    • Reply

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