Am i allowed to ask if we're invited to the wedding?

Idk I kind of feel like he shouldn’t ask. Did the coworker ask your bf for your address to send save the dates? Is he mentioning the wedding at all to your bf? I feel like there’s no way to ask the coworker without making him feel awkward if the answer is no. If you guys didn’t receive the save the date and the wedding is four months away then It feels like maybe you’re not invited.

I dont know. You'll be amazed how many people my fiance said were going. He just said just to be nice cause we already have our guest list. I had to tell him to stop it cause they'll think true. Some people just talk to make convo. I would feel rude to even ask. But I think you're going to have to talk to him and let him maybe it's not happening.

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We actually moved recently (I updated my question with that info...sorry for the novel!) and he has our address from the housewarming party. I don't think we're invited either. I really appreciate the input! I guess the only reason I ask is that I don't think I would mind someone asking me, but that's always easier said than done. I hoped maybe they would talk about the wedding with each other more and the answer would naturally come out. I guess they don't really sit around talking about the wedding details though haha

Hmmm you said they recently got engaged? We never sent save the dates, we got engaged 4/1/19 and are getting married 8/8/19, lots of OOT guests. Maybe ask more about his wedding but definitely don’t ask if you’re invited. It’s always awkward to say no

You should not ask, are we invited? But it is fine for your boyfriend to do something or talk with this guy, regular catching up on things since we moved stuff. On the phone, or online. Groom knows the wedding is coming. And if you are invited, undoubtedly will mention, we hope you are coming, or ask you about it. And either way, they catch up as friends. Or he may say, we only invited the closest people, who else would pay $3000 each to attend our wedding? Or may say, following our honeymoon, or when we move into our house, or whatever, we will be having a reception for those not invited to the wedding, and hope you will come. If he says nothing, don't ask.

View Quoted Comment I don’t think i would mind it someone asked but I would feel bad and a little awkward if they thought they would be invited but they really weren’t. I think it would be hard to say NOPE you’re not invited lol. I think the coworker would say something like “hey man, did you get the save the date we sent?” Or something idk. If he’s not talking about it then it’s leaning more on the “not invited” side of things.

Yeah I suppose he could initiate a conversation about wedding planning and details. But absolutely a no go on “so are we invited” because that makes it awkward for him no matter how nice your intentions are.

When you moved. I presume you set up mail forwarding? If so. I would still expect a save the date to arrive.

I would also presume that it they had a local wedding, and when they had only preliminary plans, you all probably were on the guestlist. But I’d expect it becoming a destination wedding to seriously impact the guestlist. Most destination weddings people I know have had. Have been like: immediate family and very best bff friends . Maybe aunts uncles and grandparents but probably not even cousins. So. With a DW I would find myself expecting NOT to be invited to a wedding I’d otherwise think I would be invited to.

If anyone asks me if they were invited, I'm uninviting them. I cant do it.

I wouldn’t ask. If they sent a save the date and your boyfriend didn’t mention it or start making accommodations by now, the friend would have asked.

See if your BF can causally have to come up. My bridesmaid sent back her RSVP and I still haven’t gotten it and I’ve been married 5 months! Neither one of us have moved. If they’re friends, I don’t think it could hurt. Just so you know.

Also to add, I didn’t ask any of my guests if they got my save the date or my invitation. And when following up on missing RSVPs one of my guests never even got heir invite and they live down the road from me.

Don't ask. That's like an uncomfortable thing to feel when someone asks you if they're invited to your wedding.

Hmm. I think it depends on their relationship for sure. I think I would go with not asking, especially if they see each other frequently, your boyfriend not rsvp-ing would have come up by now.

I would assume the Friend said something he should not have. And for a destination wedding in November, it is very late for invites or STDs not to have gone out.

We had a STD from our friends wedding get lost in the mail and we were in the same boat. The wedding required flying to another state, and we assumed we were invited but couldn't be sure. We also live a few hours apart, and were too apprehensive to ask directly, but we got lucky when we had a get-together with a group of people who would all likely be invited to the wedding and someone asked him about the planning. He asked if we were all coming, and it turned out that we had moved the week they sent STDs, and considering how much mail we had gotten from previous renters, I'm not at all surprised that it wasn't forwarded.

Long story short, don't ask directly, but a potential workaround would be to try and find their wedding website and see what their RSVP system is. The way our site is set up, you search for your name and then put in your response. So if theirs is set up similarly, you might be able to see if you're on the guest list.

I feel like with a traditional wedding this might not come in in normal conversations, but being that this is a destination wedding, I feel like it would have definitely come up by now if you guys were invited. I wouldn't bring it up.

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I think checking if they have a website is a GREAT idea. You may be able to get an idea how large a wedding is it.

Another thought I have is call up groom, say, I have a friend looking for a place for a destination wedding in the Caribbean, can you give any tips. And then see where that leads.

Have boyfriend ask how wedding planning is going and see from there. If he doesn't mention you guys coming then you're not invited.
It sounds like you're not invited to me though

I feel like if they sent a save the date/invite and he hasn't asked your BF about it yet, I would leave it alone. I would go with your plan of going to dinner when they return if you would happen to be invited!

How about just asking how the wedding planning is going? Most people will tell you if you should be expecting an invitations at that point, or ask if you sent your RSVP if they already went out. You don't usually have to be so direct as to ask if you're invited, and I find that rude. But if your man is friends with this guy, asking about the wedding as a general question is ok.