Am i a terrible person?

No these are not rational because you are putting yourself first and as a priority rather than focusing on what she needs to do for her life and marriage. I understand being disappointed but in my opinion this is not something to be upset over, especially when you have your own wedding to plan. Sorry to sound harsh but that is my opinion. Don't let this get you down.

As long as you’re supporting her and putting her feelings first then I think there’s no reason to feel selfish about this small thing that you are upset about. I think it’s okay to be disappointed because being chosen as a MOH is such an honor!

Feelings are always rational. You’re allowed to feel your feelings, but you need to feel them and then let them go without bothering your friend about it.

And this is the true definition of a dependapotomus

And also not irrational to be "selfish." She doesnt even want the marriage! So why not put yourself first?! Personally, I wouldnt want to be a part of her wedding. Why is she staying until her school is finished? That doesn't sound like a good person in my opinion. I am biased however, as a veteran myself, many women take advantage of the benefits that come along with being a military wife and then leave once they get their fill. It sickens me.

View Quoted Comment She was actually in school before they got married and had to stop because they moved across country. She’s waiting to finish school so she’s able to support herself if they split up.

View Quoted Comment Ah yes, moving, I get that. Just make sure you find a balance then. That scenario can become quickly dramatic. I would make sure you put your needs first and still be able to handle the issues that may come from her leaving her marriage. I say that because military members have a lot of crap blow their way. The guys are warned in boot camp to watch out for women because they will marry for their benefits. Which sounds crazy but it happens all the time! Maybe not your friend but that is probably where his mind will go the second the mentions a split. And even if his mind doesnt go there, he will have a battalion of people suggesting it. So, heaven forbid that happens, make sure you don't let it dull your time to plan and wed.

If she gets married again, maybe you will be her MOH then. I wouldn’t let this upset you and worry more about being there for your friend and planning your own wedding.

I would do my best to let it go. It seems like your friend is being forced into a marriage, and it's super important to be there for her!

Your friend is considering leaving her husband (obviously a big life decision) and your main concern is not being a bridesmaid in her future/non-existent wedding? I'm not trying to be rude, but that does come off as very self-centered. I think you should just focus on being there for your friend during this tough time.