Am i a horrible person for not going to my brothers wedding?

That is a personal decision that only you can make. However, it sounds like neither of you really care for the relationship at this point, so I wouldn't bother going if you don't see it to be important.

I think as long as you understand it's a relationship altering/ending decision, then it's your decision to make. Will you regret it in 10 years? Only you can decide that. To me it doesn't sound like he's done anything SO out of line that you need to be out of his life. Has he stolen from you? Harmed you? Manipulated you? Maybe....but if it's just a disagreement, I think I would regret not being there for my siblings. But again....that's all up to you.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Jessica. Tbh, you mad that they see you as immature but you’re worried about blowing up at their wedding because of... what?... an off comment, a perceived slight... that does sound a little immature. But also, we don't know the situation there could be more going on than what you’ve told us.

I would still go. Show up, be polite, mature, congratulation them, celebrate with your family. Not showing up will not only damage your relationship with your brother but it will likely solidify their opinions of you. Show them that you are not what they think you are.

It sounds like you want a relationship with your brother, so to me, the only option is to go to the wedding. Even if that means minimal contact with family or it being an awkward event, I'd still go.

I would just go to your brother's wedding and be on your best behavior (even if that means no drinking for you and leaving early). I think you're in your head too much about this.

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This. Exactly.

I've realized over the years that when I'm having problems with someone I'm close to (or was) that the best thing I can do is to look at what I've done to contribute to the relationship. Maybe you are right about your brothers fiance being controlling, but what is there that you can do to help your situation? You can't do anything about her or what she is or is not doing. But you can do something about the way you react when you're frustrated, hurt or angry. We've all had times in our lives that we aren't so proud of, but it's up to us to grow and learn from them. So maybe you were the family fool, and maybe you still are. But are you a good person? Do you care about your family and their happiness? Do you want to have a relationship with your brother? Then I would put on your big boy pants, put a smile on your face, go to his wedding and congratulate him and his new wife with genuine happiness. If you really didn't care and don't want your brother in your life, you wouldn't be asking. Maybe your brothers fiance seems to be steering him away because she wants to protect your brother from being hurt by you, and by stepping up that could start mending the relationship.