Always Choosing Mother's Side

This would personally bother me a lot and make me question if I wanted to marry this man. What you're saying to FMIL is not rude at all. Please have an honest conversation with FH and let him know how his comments affected you. If he doesn't genuinely apologize or stop making those remarks, I'd see this as a major red flag. Wishing you nothing but the best

I would stop being passive aggressive about it and tell him directly how his interference is making you feel. I would also be very concerned about this being a predictor for how your future together will be. He should not be constantly taking his mother's side especially at the expense of his soon-to-be wife.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking questions or even saying "I don't know about that." It's not rude at all, and I have no idea why your FH would say that. Is he used to just letting his mother do everything she wants with all aspects of his life? This sounds like a strange reaction to me, unless this is their usual dynamic, in which case, I would be worried about boundaries in the future. Also, why is he so ok with letting his mother make decisions for his wedding that he should be making with you? Another weird thing.

I would say, keep asking questions, and keep being honest about your opinions/feelings about FMILs suggestions. At least she's asking you what you think, rather than just running right over you.

FH needs to get a grip.

I totally second Cristy. Said perfectly.

FH needs to grow up and realize that now you are both getting married, you come before his mom. He will always be her son but now, the primary woman in his life is you. No excuse, no questions. It also doesn't matter if your MIL is paying or not. Final decision should be up to you and your FH. This is so wrong on so many levels.

This post confuses me so your FH is saying you are being mean for asking questions to your FMIL about YOUR wedding?

why is your FMIL in charge of YOUR wedding?

why is your FH not involved in the planning and why is he telling you your rude because your asking questions? Why isn't he questioning the decisions of the big day?

Passive aggressive or not ask yourself how you feel now when he does it if you can see yourself feeling like this for the rest of your life. If you can then say nothing.

If you can't I would have a sit down with FH about boundaries , respect, wife vs mom and your feeling and emotions.