Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Caitlin
Savvy August 2018

Alternatives for first dance?

Caitlin, on April 9, 2018 at 10:33 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

Hi everyone, I have a bit of a dilemma and I was wondering if anyone had some suggestions. My FH is deaf and has some social anxiety, and he is not comfortable with the idea of having a first dance in front of everyone at the reception. He has said that he's willing to do it if I want him to, but I don't want to force him into a situation that would make him feel self conscious or uncomfortable. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any suggestions for something we could do instead of a first dance that we both would be able to enjoy? Or just skip it altogether? TIA!

12 Comments

Latest activity by Caitlin, on July 9, 2018 at 4:35 AM
  • Nicole
    Expert September 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    What if, while you are getting pictures done and your guests are at cocktail hour, you arrange to do a first dance in private? You could pick a nice, secluded area, put on a song and have only you guys and the photographer. That way you've still had a first dance as husband and wife but he doesn't feel as self-conscious. Could also make for some beautiful pictures. The other alternative would be to announce that your first dance is open and have everyone join you on the dance floor right away so your FH feels less 'in the spotlight'

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree with trying to do one in private, or, just skip it altogether. I don't think there are any "alternatives" to that. Either you have a dance, or you don't.

    • Reply
  • Kiley
    Super February 2019
    Kiley ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I agree with pp. I would try to see if they will let you use the bridal suite (if they have one) to do your first dance in. It would be a good chance to get away from everyone and enjoy each other
    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Savvy August 2018
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Thanks everyone! Hadn't thought of doing one in private.

    • Reply
  • Claire
    Dedicated May 2018
    Claire ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My friend who hates attention and her now-husband did it where they only danced the first 30 seconds of their song, then had everyone come on the dance floor and join them. I thought it was pretty sweet.

    • Reply
  • jax
    Dedicated September 2018
    jax ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Would he be comfortable if everyone else joined in the first dance? Like the entire wedding party dances, and then the band/DJ can announce that anyone who would like to join the couple can dance as well. That way the pressure of having you guys be the main focus is off. Smiley smile
    I also don't see anything wrong with skipping it too but that could also just be my opinion.

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Beginner August 2020
    Mary ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My father will not be at my wedding, so there will be no father daughter dance. With that being said, I think (I have more than enough time to change my mind), I am going to do a longest couple dance instead, and give the couple married longest a gift.
    I like to private dance idea too, but if you feel your guests will be missing out, a longest couple dance would give them something to cherish through the wedding and after.
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted January 2019
    S ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would just skip it if you don't want to have one. I don't think there is any obligation to replace it with anything else. Personally, I'm not having one as I have no interest in having a crowd watch me dance... It isn't something that is fundamental to the guest experience in the way that food, drinks, seating, etc. is, so I would say it is really up to you if you want to do it.

    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Savvy August 2018
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Thanks everyone! Some of my family members were making me feel like it would be weird not to have a first dance at all but seeing these comments make me feel way better about not having one. There will be plenty of other moments during the day that will be special for both of us Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes November 2019
    Carrie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    So what we decided to do for the same reasons is have a ceildah (Irish line dancing band). That way everyone does the 'first dance' together, the dance is modelled first by the band and no one person or couple is ever dancing by themselves. I don't know what you have planned, but maybe being really obvious and saying everyone dances together as suggested above, so you share this moment with all the important people in your life as you start your new life together is a way around it?
    • Reply
  • C
    Beginner February 2020
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My fiancé and I for our first dance is going to be The Ship Song by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
    • Reply
  • C
    Beginner February 2020
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    The first dance with my dad is going to be Times Of Your Life by Paul Anka
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics