Alternative "Reception"

Ive actually been to something similar for a friend. To be honest, it was awkward and confusing as a guest. It felt very disorganized and the people they came later missed out on quite a bit (food, drinks, etc.). Almost everyone came at the beginning and it was hard for the couple to make their rounds and see everyone because it was a massive mob of people trying to see them.

ETA: my hand slipped on my phone and sent my unfinished post.

Sounds like a great house warming party for after the wedding. We are having an outdoor reception with lawn games for the kids (and I guess any adult that wants to join), a lego table...again for the kids or the young at heart, and our guestbook is a giant personalized crossword puzzle. But we will also be having a cocktail hour, bartender, music, and no guests in togas doing keg stands.

@katiep thanks for the insight and opinion. Did the invitation say anything about the alternative reception or did you find out when you got there? Thanks.

Thanks @ali and @samanthat!

Will you have plenty of food and alcohol?

Respectfully, it sounds like summer camp.

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In regards to the grad party feel comment it was more as an example. Sorry if that seems "young" but we are just not into the traditional wedding reception.

I think the ONLY way this can work, is if it's very small. As in, immediate family only.

Crafts? Mini golf tournament? No thank you.

You can have a casual reception without it feeling like a graduation party.

Or just elope and have a 4th of july BBQ later.

Caroline,

To answer your question, here's what my husband and I did for a non-traditional event (we had a 2nd reception since we had a destination wedding ceremony and event first).

We rented an art gallery, hired a bartender, and ordered a cake. We had a food truck parked just outside, and the reception was cocktails, gourmet grilled cheeses, cake, and music. We didn't have a sit-down meal, a photographer, or organized dances of any sort, but we made sure to properly host everyone without making it another typical wedding event.

I hope that helps!

I have only been to one reception similar to this. Wedding was at 2:00pm and they had cake & punch served immediately afterwards. They had tables set up with board games and a couple yard games outside. It was semi awkward in the sense that we congratulated the couple, sat down and ate, then we weren't sure what to do. Some people left. Others started to play the games but they were mostly the family members that were kind of expected to stick around longer. We ended up killing some time by walking around the venue (old museum) then we hit the road. If you're fine with guests not sticking around then this could certainly work for you. There is no way I would invite more than like 40 people though.

Well, at least you mentioned food.

Mini golf and crafts sounds like way too much. I've been to weddings with "games" before but I don't really want to play corn hole in a cocktail dress. It's kind of a know-your-crowd thing, but oftentimes extra activities get left by the wayside in favor of more traditional socializing.

I've never been to a graduation party with any of those things except yard games and food.

How are you going to do mini golf? Are you going to rent out a mini golf place? that IMO would be awesome and alternative / unusual. I think a few things would be fine, but it to many would end up being very school carnival like.

I have been to a celebration of marriage that was at the couple's house. It had a house party vibe. The guests knew what it was from the start and dressed accordingly. There was no white dress or dances or toasts. No bridal party or DJ or photographer...there was cake and food and booze though. We all had fun but it didn't feel like a reception if that's what you are going for.

I have never seen board games and crafts at a graduation party.

I think having an open house BBQ would be fine if that's your style. I would still have people rsvp or how will you know how much food to order?

So, it sounds like you're getting married in a private ceremony and then inviting lots of friends and families to come to a marriage celebration, gifts in hand, and share in an event that has already happened. I wouldn't do that, but who cares what I would do? This is your life, his life, and your plans. There is nothing wrong, in terms of etiquette, in inviting people to attend the celebration of a recent marriage (in fact, if you're interested, we can point you to sites that will help you to word your invitations in a way that will make it clear that you are married and now celebrating that marriage).

Now, about this..."very grad party open house. Has anyone done this before? We want board games, crafts, mini golf tournament, food, and yard games. Would love to hear how others did an alternative "reception". Thanks!"

Graduation parties are typically, "Yay (and then copious amounts of vomit). We're now adults and can get trashed! Open bar -- I hope so -- better be -- and no, beer and wine won't cut it. We'll organize a car bar or liquor run. If we're grads, we want vodka, whisky, bourbon, gin, and scotch (otherwise, it's a light bar, wedding reception)."

I have never seen two individuals playing a board game at a back yard BBQ, let alone a wedding. I've never seen people doing crafts anywhere besides craft classes in the nursing home, in the first grade, or in summer camp. Skip that -- it makes absolutely zero sense at a celebration of marriage (seriously, are you going to provide paper, glue sticks, glitter, and poster paint -- or will it be more of a ceramics class? Wrong place, wrong time)? Mini golf? Are you planning to have this reception at "Putt Putt Mini Golf"?

I can only tell you what I would think, if I were a guest. I would think, "I did this in 1971, at summer camp. Where's the food, the music, and the alcohol? I'm not walking out with crafts to hang on the refrigerator, and I'm certainly not going to risk ruining this dress with the stuff that's found in the elementary school art cabinet."

Just have a lovely dinner, plenty of alcohol, and music. The adults will take care of themselves. They've all been to weddings. They know how to do it.

Honesty... I wanna drink and be marry at a wedding and of course enjoy it with the couple and guests

I wouldn't wanna get all Martha Stewart at a wedding

I guess you gotta feel your crowd out