Already married but really want a "wedding"

You can just call it a celebration of love or something like that. You can be traditional or not traditional at all. Don’t over think it. You can do everything as if you aren’t already married except for signing the license! The great thing about this time we’re living in is that you can do what you want the rules for weddings our parents and or grandparents had don’t have to apply. Make it your dream wedding.

We ate in the same boat! Got married in July and are having a ceremony and reception on holiday leave this winter! Basically everyone knows but still want to have that special wedding ceremony and exchanging of vows in front of our loved ones— my best advice is you do you! It is your day and you have to make it special for you. The military throws ya curve balls and we have to go with it- so make it your own and celebrate your love! Congratulations!!!

You may not want to call it a vow renewal, but that's what it is. You can call it a celebration of love or a celebration of marriage if that makes you feel better. The planning process is essentially the same, except without the optional prewedding events like a bachelorette party or bridal shower, since you are already married. The ceremony would also run the same way. The only difference is that you won't have to have an ordained officiant since they won't be pronouncing you as married and you won't have to sign the marriage certificate. You could hire an officiant, or you could just have a friend or family member perform the ceremony for you.

Same boat as you. Got married legally last year. Just us and witnesses. Next year same date we have planned a ceremony and reception. We are calling it a wedding (and if that offends anyone that they can call it a vow renewal of that makes them happy lol) everyone knows we are married and no one thinks it's odd or has an issue with it. In fact many are traveling from other countries to come. I felt like you, after several months past I thought too much time has gone by and thought we just wouldn't do anything and I felt really sad about it. But family and friends encouraged to still do something and not to care if it's not "traditional". Since the legal marriage and the wedding will actually be on the same day just 2 years apart we will have 1 anniversary. (Obviously with the legal one being the one we go with whenever marriage date is needed for something)

Who cares what people say or think. They aren't in our positions.

Btw our invites say wedding!

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I agree with this. Yes, technically it is a vow renewal, but you do not have to call it that. A lot of people on here get touchy over this. I haven't read the comments other than this first reply, but I would bet my bottom dollar that one or more people will insist you have to call it a "vow renewal". I believe the main reason people get so adamant about that is because there are some people out there that act as is they weren't married to begin with and are "fooling" the guests. Also I have heard other people say that they are concerned that the couple is not only fooling the guests, but are trying to squeeze gifts/money out of the guests by trying to pull the wool over their eyes.

I understand 100% your situation and the vast majority of military couples have been where you are now. A lot of people that haven't been in the service or have a close connection to it don't understand how difficult it can be. For example, I have a friend that was engaged to a man in the Navy. They had been living together for about 2 years when he got transfer papers from the northeast US to Texas. The only way that she could accompany him and move into the base housing together was for them to be legally married. So even though they were in the midst of planning a wedding with a venue booked and all, they went on down to the court house. They made an announcement on FB and when the date came for the original wedding, they had a ceremony and a blessing done by a priest and then had the reception as if they were married that day.

You're not trying to fool anyone or looking for handouts. You and your spouse want to celebrate with the friends and family you love and there is nothing wrong with that. I agree with the PP that calling it a "celebration of love" is a great alternative. You could also have a blessing by a priest/pastor/rabbi, etc. in lieu of a wedding. I would maybe word the invitations like "(His name) & (Your name) cordially invite you to celebrate our love and marriage! Please join us for our marriage blessing ceremony with a reception to follow at such and such date, time, location."

Best of luck to you!

We did this! We went to the courthouse before his 13 month deployment in April 2017. He proposed April 8th, we went to the courthouse on April 14th, and he left April 23rd. I told him before he left we were going to have a "real" wedding and he knew that was part of the deal, which I put the deposit on the venue April 13th, 2017 lol. I was prepared in knowing where we would have the ceremony. In a few weeks we'll have our wedding, which we will celebrate that anniversary too. My mom was pushing us before he left to get married, so we did just in case something happened. Luckily he's back and it's full steam ahead for Oct 13th. Our invites said wedding, and we're doing the cake, dress, bridal party, etc. Our bridal parties threw us showers/parties, and no one cared. People who complain about it being called a vow renewal vs a wedding are just being petty, and honestly no one cares about the difference. We all have our reasons for doing things.

Invitation:

"Wife and Husband were married on December xx, 2017.

The pleasure of your company is requested at the renewal of their vows and celebration of their marriage, on July xx 2019"

Something like that would be good! Would make it clear that you're already married but that this will be a wedding-like occasion

If you don't want to say "vow renewal" I think you could just leave that out and say "celebration of marriage." Or leave out the first part entirely (about when you got married) and just say something like "Wife and Husband request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage"

I think you could call it a wedding reception! Or a vow renewal. Either would work for me. I've seen plenty of people renew after 1 year.

We are doing the same thing. Had the wedding date set and everything, then my husband got tasked for a deployment during the time we were originally going to be married. I wanted to wait but we decided it'd be smarter financially to just make it legal. Still calling our actual wedding a wedding. None of my guests care and if they do they don't have to come.

And you can still have a bachelorette party/ bridal shower. I don't think we're doing the shower, but a bachelorette party is still happening. Regardless of what it used to mean, I'm just going out and celebrating with my girls. After all, it's really just a party.

People on here get so uptight about this stuff, when it is 2018... we've surpassed the traditional and can do as we please! If it isn't hurting anyone, I don't see why others make a big deal out of it. As long as your guests know you're already married and you aren't trying to fool them, I think you're good to go. Only those subject to the military life will ever understand these situations. I just got our after 7 years of service with 3 back to back deployments, and my husband is still in, so we definitely understand. I'm putting celebration of marriage or something to that effect on our invites. By the way, Congratulations!!!