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M
Just Said Yes February 2021

Already having problems on who is invite

Melissa, on July 21, 2019 at 1:59 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13
I wanted to get some advice and opinions on a few things. I just got engaged on 7/6 and already stressed out. My dad told me this weekend if I do not invite his whole family then I shouldn’t invite anyone and he will not attend if I decide to do that. Has anyone else gone through this with their parents ?
I can’t fathom inviting people I have no relationship with especially because I don’t want to spend a fortune.
This is making me not want to even have a wedding. That and seeing the average cost of a wedding is around 20,000!?
My other question is...is it realistic to think I can spend 10,000 or less on my big day ? Losing hope already for my dream day.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Cassi, on July 22, 2019 at 11:52 AM
  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
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    It definitely is realistic to have a wedding for 10k, alot of brides have a budget of 10k or less! Id say keep the guest list small and dont feel obligated to invite people you dont know or care about being at your wedding. If your dad or parents arent paying or givinf money for the wedding then they should have no say
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    If he wants people at the wedding, he can pay for them.Send him the quotes of the per-head costs, see how fast he changes his mind!


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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    So our parents were so adamant about inviting people too but they offered to pay for it if we needed help. If they want to do that and you don't have the funds for it, that would be best to bring that up to him for him to pay
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  • Annette
    Dedicated October 2019
    Annette ·
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    That's what I did. If family wants an absurd amount of people you can't afford to have there let them know they are more than welcome to foot the bill for those people. And yes you can't have a reasonable wedding for $10k its a lot of work but it can be done.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Unless your father is contributing to the wedding financially, he has no say in the guest list. If he wants to act like a child and skip his daughter's wedding because he didn't get his way, then let him throw his tantrum and he will have to live with it for the rest of his life.

    Whether or not your budget is realistic really depends on the type of event you want and how many people you're expecting. Can you have a nice wedding for 100 people with $10k? Absolutely. 200 people? Probably pushing it. Keep your guest list low and your expectations realistic.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    If you work VERY hard, ask for tons of help, and get second hand items, maybe $10,000- depends on where you live. Also, don’t scrimp on food! That’s one thing people always remember!!!

    Also, if your dad is Demanding & threatening about the guest list I think it’s time to sit him down and have the convocation about budget.
    ”I get you want ALL of your side, by we have Mom’s & then his parents, plus OUR friends!, so it might not be realistic to do that. Especially since I/we don’t know ‘XYZ’. I’m okay with having them, and booking a venue to hold everyone, *IF* you can help out on the budget.” See what he says from there.
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    My budget is 10k. If you know what's important to you and don't do anything extra it's possible.
    Tell your dad he's not invited. Stop telling him about wedding planning entirely. He'll change his mind real quick.
    Unless he's paying for the wedding he doesn't get input.
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  • J
    September 2020
    John ·
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    Loads of my family have had weddings under that and most of them had pretty big weddings.

    It's not his decision to make, particularly if he's not contributing financially.
    To be honest even if he was, I still don't get it. Why would people go to a wedding of people they don't/barely know? Seems bizzare to me
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  • Yesenia
    Savvy October 2020
    Yesenia ·
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    I have the same issue but with my mother about inviting extended family that i dont know. I told her she can only invite x number of people and she says not to have a wedding. My Mother doesnt like it but my fiance and i are not going to put up with her demands bcuz it's our wedding. You need let your dad know to put your needs before his. You need to sit down and talk to him He will regret not being part of your wedding. I am having a 10k wedding and its doable but the less people you invite the more likely you are to save money and stay within your budget.
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  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
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    It is definitely realistic to have a budget of 10k! You just have to decide where you want to cut corners and what you can absolutely not do without! You just got engaged, so so your research with your FS and see what you guys find!
    Your dad should definitely tone it down a bit, you literally just got engaged. We are having a small wedding and not inviting most of our families. If your dad expects you to invite people for him, then he should contribute. My favorite motto is no wallet, no opinion.
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  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    I have a budget of far less than $10k and it can totally be done. But a small guest list helps enormously. Tell your dad he can pay for all his guests or he can butt out.
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  • M
    Just Said Yes February 2021
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you everyone for your input. Hopefully I can put my foot down with him on this.
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  • Cassi
    Super October 2019
    Cassi ·
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    Our wedding was about 9k before adding in lodging (we are renting a 9 bedroom cabin for us and wedding party for a week). As for the invites you definitely have time. Sit down and actually make lists. If your dad is contributing financially he will get a say in invites but if hes not its all your choice. He needs to respect your decisions. Our guest list is 106 people and we have at least 14 people on there from my moms side of the family that I KNOW for a fact won't come because its a DW but appreciate the invite. I didn't really want them there (they are all in their 60s and 70s and even 80s and I haven't seen them since I was 10).


    Yopu have plenty of time so don't stress. Take a deep breath and just start making lists of possible invites (you have so much time before this is even relevant). Focus on finding the venue and other major vendors.

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