Alone and paying and planning wedding

Could you just have something super small with the two of you and your children?

I think you should just elope. You can always renew your vows later or have a party later. Dont overwork yourself or go into debt because of this.

Remember to breathe. This is yalls day and as hectic as it seems now it will be wonderful! My wedding is October 2019 and me and my fh are paying and planning for it all on our own. His mom and i do not grt along at all and my family just cant financially help. Luckily my maid of honor has been sucj a wonderful helping hand in all of the planning. Dont stress about the little things, i know its easier said than done but it will come together!

Sorry you're feeling so stressed and helpless. Why not make it really really small? You two and your kids and maybe some special few friends and family members? Breaking the bank and/or going into debt over one day isn't worth it. You may look back and regret it. Keep it small and simple. Less stress and it'll be that much more special.

I would just do something small. Theres no need to stress when you can just have something small and save money. Maybe just have a cute little party with more family down the road. Wedding is supposed to be for you and your FH.

Sorry you're feeling stressed and sad. Me and FH have 7 kids together too but we both work Full time. I am doing most of the planning myself although he gets involved in the areas he cares about (food, music, some decor). If I were in your position, I'd take my FH and kids and have a beautiful ceremony somewhere outside and then go to a really nice dinner afterwards. Have someone videotape it so that you can share it when you renew your vows and have a bigger event!

Other than that- FH needs to tell his mom. That's not ok.

You can't "count on" your friends to do unpaid work. That would be very unfair to them.

If you can't afford to hire people for the tasks, don't plan a big wedding.

Why not go to the courthouse to elope, and take your immediate family, and maybe a small handful of friends for dinner at a nice restaurant? Then you won't have all the headache of renting tables and chairs, plates, utensils, etc.

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@daira Iv don't the court house thing and hated it'd it. Why would I pay my bridal parties to do things are Really traditionally there job? And I don't have family and he pretty much dosent either. So 70 people to me isn't that big. This is important to me and those people who make up the 70 are people I choose to be there to share that moment with us even if there not reliable.

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@ DC bride Thanks for understanding. All our kids are under 10yrs it gets crazy. And his mom knew when we announced it in 2015 but she said she didn't want any thing to do with it even thou we planned it for her back yard. That's why we changed it to the park.

View Quoted Comment Decorating and setting up are not the job of the wedding party. 70 people is too many if you’re stressing about money.

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Technically your wedding party does not have any "jobs" other than to show up dressed. Anything else they want to contribute should be voluntary.

We're having 50 people, very low key, and still paying around $8k and I don't have to pay for any decorations - my venue comes beautiful. Weddings are expensive. So I don't think tax refunds will cover that, usually. I agree with everyone else too - don't go into debt if it doesn't make sense for you financially.

Their only "job" is to purchase and wear the agreed upon attire. The "jobs" you are referring to are for paid vendors, like a venue or DOC.

And 70 is not small. 20 would be small.

If this is stressful for you, this is nothing compared to what will happen when payments are coming due or your friends are not completing their "tasks."

You asked for advice, and you got it. Sorry it's not what you were hoping to hear.

Well I took the advice from the same post from a different forum and to cut guest list but thanks for all the attacks and non- support from this group jeesh... Its not that I don't want to hear it its the point that people do not want to help but want to come and spend my money I'm paying out of pocket my self.... So why bother.THATS WHY THR GUEST LIST WAS CUT!

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People arent trying to be unsupportive here, they are trying to gently show you the reality. Of course people dont want to help, its not their wedding, its not as big a deal to them as it is to you. Very very few people will want to do extra work for friends for something that beyond those couple of hours doesnt affect them. The only friends I have had volunteer to help are the couple of guys with fancy "toys" aka laser cutters (to cut acrylic) and 3D printers who want an excuse to use them and not have the created item in their house after (the same reason I sew things for other people cause then I get to be creative and use my expensive sewing machine but I dont have to find a place to store what I make). I am sorry that it is stressful for you, but that is what we are all dealing with - doing it all or mostly all ourselves and paying for it ourselves because it wouldnt be fair to expect that from others. Its wonderful when someone offers help or a gift of $ but it cant be counted on or planned around until it is physically in your hand (or bank account).