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L
Just Said Yes September 2016

Almost Married/Send Off Party?

L, on January 6, 2016 at 10:26 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

My FH and I are having a small wedding (50-60 people).. essentially immediate family aunts/uncles (no cousins etc) BP. We are getting married in his hometown (across the continent from mine, where I have been living my whole life).

My mom wants to have an engagement/send off party for her friends and church friends in my city who will not be invited to the wedding but who I have known my whole life.

I was thinking wording it "(name) & (name) are almost married! Please join us as we send off the happy couple with our best wishes." I don't want to call it an Engagement Party or Reception because it will not be formal and I do not want a gift event. They will know by word of mouth this is a small wedding.

I'm from Canada, moving to the US and I can't return home after we're married for an unknown length of time (up to a year) due to visa restrictions. Essentially this will be a destination wedding with no opportunity for an announcement and AHR after the fact.

Thoughts?

6 Comments

Latest activity by annakay511, on January 6, 2016 at 5:22 PM
  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    That's tricky! It seems sort of iffy etiquette-wise since none of these people are invited to the wedding. On the other hand, you won't be able to return home. Could you call it a going-away party? I mean, you're moving away, could you just have a party to say bye to you, separate from wedding stuff?

    Curious to see what others will say.

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  • NowASeptMrs
    Master September 2015
    NowASeptMrs ·
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    Why were the friends not invited? Just visa issues?

    I would call it a going away party and not relate it to the wedding at all. Some people will still bring gifts, but that way it's not tied to wedding ettiquette and invites vs non invites.

    Is your FH going to be there?

    Just an invite that says something like "Bid Adieu to John and Jane as they move to California! Sunday Jan 24, 5-7pm"

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  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    ^^ yes, that! That's what I was trying to say.

    ETA - if you change your avatar, you may get more responses!

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  • L
    Just Said Yes September 2016
    L ·
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    The 'going away' is a nice way to put it - yes my FH will be making the trip for the party (still doing long distance right up to the wedding!). The only thing is my mom wants to publicly acknowledge the engagement. I can't get married at home like I wanted because of the visa - has to be in the US.

    NowASeptMrs: I couldn't possibly accommodate everyone I would be inviting.. they will understand that my FH and I want a small wedding (neither of us like crowds) and won't be offended that they were not invited. Most of them wouldn't be able to make the trip anyways. Knowing that, and the fact I don't want them all giving gifts (which is sometimes interpreted as such by an obligatory wedding invite) I figured this might be the best route for them all to feel included and celebrate with us.

    Thanks all for the input! I'm just trying to steer my mom in the best direction etiquette-wise. Smiley winking

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  • Sqwiggy
    VIP April 2016
    Sqwiggy ·
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    Call it a going away party. Your mom can make a toast and mention the upcoming nuptials.

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  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
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    I think its a nice idea! Its basicly just a going-away party.

    Also, change your avatar to something other than the rings!

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