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Dedicated July 2018

Allowing kids at ceremony and not reception?

Allyson, on May 5, 2018 at 8:52 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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I am working on an FAQ section for my website and I googled what to include and one section was about "Can I bring my children?" We are having an adult reception with the exception of the kids in the wedding party. I am not mentioning anything about "adults only" on my invitations and I'm just addressing the invitations to the adults. I'm having the guests RSVP on my site and it limits the number of people that they can bring. There is some concern that some of my guests will see they can RSVP for two and think that their plus one is their kid instead of an adult date. We are not inviting kids because we have big families our guest list would practically double if we added on all our guests kids and we'd rather spend money on a fancy dinner and open bar for adults than children who can't fully appreciate it and our venue charges full price for kids! Our ceremony and reception are at different locations with a short gap for travel. That being said, what do you think of having an FAQ on the site about children that the reception is an adult event but they are welcome to bring their children to the ceremony portion if they would like? I want it to be an option for people to bring them to the ceremony and drop them off before the reception to decrease the amount of time a sitter is required and to allow children to witness the nuptials if that's something their parents would like them to see. It seems people find a lot of things to be offensive that I don't necessarily see so I wanted opinions. Thanks in advance!


15 Comments

Latest activity by Alejandra, on March 26, 2020 at 7:12 PM
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    Idk if it's offensive or not as so don't have kids. What's the travel time between the ceremony and reception? The drop off on the parent end doesn't seem fun to manage. I would leave it alone and just say it's adult only on your website etc
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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    The reception is your thanks for attending the ceremony, so your plan would not thank the children. Although there are some kids who might think attending a ceremony was fun, I think you are opening yourself up to a lot of unhappy kids when they get all dressed up like Mom and Dad, but then don't get to go out for dinner like Mom and Dad.

    As a parent, I would rather tell them from the get go, that it's an adult event.

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  • A
    Dedicated July 2018
    Allyson ·
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    Travel time is approximately 20 minutes. I was just thinking that if they feel it's a burden they have the option to leave them home but they also have the option to bring them to the ceremony if they want. To me, I see it as trying to make it open for them to decide what works best for them but I don't know how other people see it.

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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    Anyone invited to the ceremony should be invited to the reception. That includes children. Also, as a parent, this is totally inconvenient because now I’d have to spend time getting my kids dressed and ready, bring them to the ceremony, and then spend the little time between ceremony and cocktail hour getting them home and hoping the sitter is on time.
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  • A
    Dedicated July 2018
    Allyson ·
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    I guess this would be more confusing then. The invitations would not include "and family" or list the children so I'm not really suggesting they bring the kids. I was just thinking to leave the option open if the parents WANTED to bring them. But so far based on the response it seems no parents would want to haha. I don't have children so I don't really know how weddings and kids go.

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  • #WhenYouWishUponAWelch
    Devoted July 2019
    #WhenYouWishUponAWelch ·
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    I think that if a family member or friend reaches out to you about the concern of leaving the child with a sitter all day, etc then you can discuss it individually. I doubt many people will want to bring their child to the ceremony and not the reception but you could do it that way. This way there is less confusion on the site
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  • Colleen
    Super October 2017
    Colleen ·
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    I dont think a FAQ is necessary, unless you have other things to put in there. I would put it on the website somewhere though. I had everyone RSVP online and didnt have issues with kids. Family and out of towner's kids were invited. A former neighbor brought their daughter to the wedding ceremony then came to the reception without her. I wasn't worried about it and it didn't come up either. I was actually happy the daughter came bc I babysat her for years before they moved but due to numbers couldn't invite her to the reception.
    Also when making the guest list, family friends actually said they would prefer to come without kids. And others who I heard talking about it, mentioned needing sitters but it was nothing negative.
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  • A
    Dedicated July 2018
    Allyson ·
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    Where on your site did you indicate adults only? Or was it on your invitations?

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  • Colleen
    Super October 2017
    Colleen ·
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    I addressed their invitations that way. Also, if you use Wedding Wire for RSVP, you will have to list each guest in each family to allow them to RSVP to the wedding. It had guests RSVP to the ceremony and reception but it didn't matter for us. You may be able to add kids to it ans only,give the option of the ceremony.
    I had a catholic wedding so the ceremony and reception were in different places. If both are in the same place people may not want to leave to take the kids home.
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  • HockeyGirl
    Dedicated June 2018
    HockeyGirl ·
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    Could you edit the website at all to include language about it being adults only on the RSVP section?
    I ask because I have a fairly comprehensive website on wordpress that I built myself, and through their tracking I've noticed that my guests don't really visit pages other than RSVP and transportation/housing, so I wonder if your guests might skip a FAQ page?


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  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    My 8 year old would be pretty crushed to attend a ceremony and then not be allowed to come to the party. That isn't fair to the kids.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I think if kids aren't allowed at the reception, they shouldn't be allowed at the ceremony. Would they leave to drop their kids off then come back?

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  • Erica
    Just Said Yes February 2020
    Erica ·
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    Do not feel bad that day is about you and your fiancé. For my wedding I sent a save the date 6 months before and wedding invites 4 months before the wedding that is more than enough time to get a sitter. I had open bar so why would you want to be drunk or tipsy taking care of kids. Also I have attended multiple weddings where it’s the couples first dance and there are kids ruining around the dance floor. If the guest care for you they will respect your wishes and be there.
    Example of what to put on invite.
    Although we love to watch the children run and play, this is going to be an adults only kinda day. Advice to future bride and groom: someone will always have something negative to say about your wedding so do as you please after all your paying for it not them.
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  • Fwbride
    Super July 2024
    Fwbride ·
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    I think if you make it an option for people to bring them to the ceremony, you’ll get a lot of people asking to just bring them to the reception too. I didn’t have kids at my wedding because it was a very adult affair and there was a pool so safety hazard. I did address my invites in a way that didn’t include kids and I also had a FAQ page on my website explaining why kids weren’t invited. It worked out perfectly! We only had one request to bring a newborn which we were fine with, but they ended up not bringing him along after all.
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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    I think you’ll mostly end up confusing your guests, honestly, or inconveniencing then. I think your idea was super sweet, but people are *not smart* and will probably try to bring them to the reception anyway. I would just say it’s an adults only event all around.
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