Alcohol...

I personally believe that if you're telling people to bring their own if they want it then you don't really get to have a say in what they do with the alcohol they bring. I'd be pretty upset if I took a couple of wine coolers to a BYOB party and was treated as though I needed to be "kept in line" by having to ask someone else to give them to me.

If you don't want alcohol then have a dry wedding. If you want to make sure a bartender is in charge of drinks, then pay for beer and wine or something. I feel as though you're going to ruffle way more feathers in policing alcohol that people had to bring themselves than by just having a dry wedding.

I would agree that a wine and beer wedding is really not that expensive, and is a compromise to both sides. You can tell them not to serve alcohol til after the ceremony so no one gets drunk too soon, but I would not presume that your aunt and uncle care if you have alcohol just cuz they don't drink. Either way you go with, don't try to take away people's alcohol if they bring it themselves. That's something people will complain about for a LONG time lol

I understand where you're coming from, but while that would be a decent compromise for you and your FH, that's not a great compromise for your guests.

Coming from experience if you do a dry wedding not many people will stay past dinner, I will have alcoholics at my wedding and I am not a big drinker but my better half is and we would rather have a party atmosphere than have half the guests leaving after dinner,

Don't make your guests subsidize your wedding costs. They should not have to provide anything to the event that you're supposed to be hosting. This is the case for both BYOB and cash bars.

A dry wedding is not against etiquette, but you probably won't have the "party"atmosphere.

I would host beer and wine only, and for sure have a bartender for liability reasons.

You could keep it dry up until dinner. Then have wine with dinner and open the bar to beer and wine after dinner and for dancing.

Does your venue allow outside alcohol? Either way, you should be aware and understand the venue's contract and liabilities when it comes to alcohol.

I've been to a wedding where it was open bar, but because the majority of their guests were non drinkers so it wasn't utilized as much. I've been to a wedding where it was cash only and open for a certain time frame and they limit how many drinks their guests can order at a time. This was totally understandable because a lot of their guests were heavy drinkers.

In a nutshell, know your guests. Based on that will determine on what you want and should do . Just know the decision is always up to you!

Very few venues/vendors will let you bring your guests bring their own alcohol. I'm shocked your BIL was able to do it.

Honestly, BYOB for a wedding is tacky. That's the kind of thing that goes on at college parties, not weddings.

Either go dry and then welcome people to join you for an afterparty with booze, or pay for booze to be there in some fashion.

Anyone who can't have fun at a dry wedding has a problem, and it isn't yours.

"Is it fair to have the rule that guests who bring their own alcohol store it behind the bar, wait until dinner, and then be served by a bar"I would seriously be upset with you for being told when and how to drink and I would even leave since you would treat me like a kids...

The issue with your wish to do a dry event, is not the wish itself but the reason why you want it: to accommodate 2 people! You want to honor them (it's kind of you) but did this gift come with string attached???

There are other ways to honor them: in a speech,a program (if you're doing it) .. and, better, in-person on the big day.

Last but not least: These 2 didn't request a dry wedding. I'm ****% sure they wouldn't be offended by you doing a bar. They wouldn't be forced them nor pressured to drink, would they?
If your groom does want a dry wedding, it's another story but he doesn't!!

In lieu of a BYOB that will lead to unnecessary troubles, you should either do a dry event or a bar. You still want a dry wedding because you and you family are not big drinkers: this is not a reason to skip it: Does your fiancé's family matter or not ? ( Yep: alcohol is unnecessary ... but so is the reception , when you think about it!)

I had a dry wedding and I don't regret it. I just don't like being around people who are drinking like crazy or getting drunk but that's just me . it is completely fine to have a dry wedding and I think you would be better to do that than to try and organise everybody's drinks .

Honestly, this sounds like a bad idea. If you want a dry wedding, just go with that. It's your wedding so you should do what you want. Personally, I prefer to have alcohol but you should do what feels right to you and fits in your budget.