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Just Said Yes December 2021

Alcohol with Mormon Family

Mary, on May 13, 2021 at 5:37 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 8

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So my FH and I aren't religious. He grew up Mormon, but left the church at 22. His parents, 2 sisters, and grandparents are Mormon. His two brothers and their families aren't. My side of the family is not. My FH said at first he wasn't comfortable drinking in front of his parents, but I told him that him and I both want it and he needs to talk to them about it. Well he did, and they were very appreciative that we came to them and told us they were fine with it because it's our wedding and our choice. So we settled on just having beer, wine, and maybe champagne.

My question is, should we talk to his two sisters too? They both have 4 kids each so I'm not sure their comfortability with their kids around alcohol.
OR
Should we put it on the invitations that alcohol will be present when we put "reception to follow" or something. Or maybe just keep it on the Q&A of our website?
Thank you in advance

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Jasmin, on May 17, 2021 at 4:11 PM

Master September 2020
Nicole · on May 13, 2021 at 6:00 PM
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I personally would just put it in the Q&A section of the website. I imagine his parents will mention something to his sisters in advance, so I don't really feel like it would be necessary to add to the invitation for just a couple of people, as most will assume alcohol is available.
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Super July 2020
Cool · on May 13, 2021 at 6:03 PM
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No, you don’t need to tell his sisters. It was very nice to tell his parents.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on May 13, 2021 at 6:34 PM
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Do not mention alcohol on the invites. You don’t need to say a word to anyone else either. Just have plenty of non alcoholic options.

Think of it like this: you/they go out to dinner where alcohol is on the menu and people are drinking it but that shouldn’t affect your/their dinner experience or keep you/them from eating there. That includes kids in attendance. At your reception you are not going to drink until you are drunk so this really should be a non issue for everyone.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on May 13, 2021 at 7:11 PM
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I agree that you don’t need to , and that they may assume it will be there or if they’re concerned they may ask around. But, I will say, I’ve seen some cute invites where instead of “reception to follow” it says something like “drinks, dinner, and dancing to follow” so you could sneak in a little something like that without making it screamingly obvious
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on May 14, 2021 at 1:17 AM
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I would not say anything.
FH's family choose to live their lives a certain way and that is totally fine but that doesn't mean that those around them have the same beliefs and practices. Given you and FH and not religious, they shouldn't expect that your wedding will conform with their expectations and there is no need to make specific mention of alcohol at your wedding.
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VIP October 2022
Samantha · on May 14, 2021 at 7:17 AM
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Normally I wouldn’t say anything. HOWEVER this is a “know your Mormon” thing. I have a few Mormon friends and they have stories. He knows his relatives. Will they walk out? Cause a scene? If there is risk of that he may want to give them time to adjust.
There are things that are Mormon that don’t fall in with standard etiquette - like not being invited to the wedding but just the reception.
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Devoted March 2021
whirlwind · on May 14, 2021 at 8:18 AM
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I would not write it on the invite!!

It's sounds like the only Mormons would be your FH's parents and sisters. You already talked to the parents (and it went well which is great). I think you (meaning your FH) should talk to the sisters as well. I think relationship-wise it would be much better to talk to them about it instead of having it written on an invite or a website. Since they know you guys aren't Mormon (anymore), they shouldn't be surprised.
Honest conversation can be hard but usually the best way. And they might really appreciate if you bring it up.
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Savvy July 2021
Jasmin · on May 17, 2021 at 4:11 PM
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Is he super close with his sisters? Would they be hurt to know he said it to his parents but not them? Would it be assumed his parents would tell them?
As a recovering alcoholic in a family of fish (aka heavy drinkers) - I appreciate it when people give me a heads up. I am super close with my family though and would be really irritated if no one told me.
Second, putting anything alcohol-related on the invite is just asking for extra people to come to drink haha. Avoid it if possible!
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