Alcohol, tight budget open bar or cash bar?

I have never been to a wedding where I needed to purchase drinks. Non alcoholic or alcoholic.
I would absolutely make sure soft drinks / teas/ juice were included.

I personally couldn’t have our guest come and have them pay for anything.

Could you change venues? One that allows BYOB or at least one that includes soft drinks?

View Quoted Comment My FH and I are the ones paying for 98% of all this, i dont have anyone helping me at all (mom passed away when I was younger, no dad in the picture, my gma and gpa have passed on and only have one aunt and uncle both dont work and the uncle is a veteran poor health), ill be lucky if they help me with my dress. This was the best place we could find in our budget. We are leaning more towards a cash bar, and paying for the non alcoholic drinks for the night.

Personally we didnt want to spend alot of money on alcohol, we dont really drink and couldnt imagine spending 100s or thousands on drinks. My brother got married in 2017, he had an open bar that had odd pricing rules-the venue charged per person even if it was a kid! Idk just odd things and cost him thousands

Anyways, for us our venue did not even offer us an open bar. Instead we are doing unlimited soda, and then a certain amount of beer and wine. Once our amount of wine and beer is gone we have the option to open more bottles or kegs at a large fee. At that point we already decided we will not be opening more, and it will become a cash bar that guests can get free soda or pay for wine, beer, mixed drinks

View Quoted Comment Im sorry but this is just silly. Change venue? Most couples have to put down a deposit and sigh a contract. You cant just "change venues". Things dont work that way unfortunately

I would host the nonalcoholic drinks and have a pure cash bar. Handing out tickets might get kind of awkward.

View Quoted Comment That’s not odd or terrible at all.
If i was at a wedding that only had an open bar for 1 hour I’d get as many drinks as possible. So would my friends and family. Not telling people it’s not open bar I’m not a big fan of. It shouldn’t be a surprise day of that you need a bunch of cash. Most people don’t have cash on them.
To the poster: you can totally have a cash bar (i personally wouldn’t but it’s your wedding) but soft drinks, tea etc should 100% be free. You cannot expect guests to pay for that and I think your guests would be shocked if you did.
I wouldn’t do an open bar for an hour and then switch to cash bar, that will just be madness. Do all one or the other. Maybe your compromise is open beer and wine only. That’s a lot cheaper than a full open bar

View Quoted Comment How is that going to work? The first few guests that go up to the bar are told it’s open for a short while? Then the guests they tell will be the only ones that get a bunch of drinks. Or the bar takes the money because people thinks it’s an open bar anyways?? Sounds sneaky. I guess I don’t see how this can be done as a nice surprise and not a situation that ends up making people mad.
I’d do complimentary wine with dinner way before I’d try something like that.

I strongly believe guests shouldn’t have to open their wallets AT ALL during your wedding but at the very least they need to be able to get non alcoholic beverages for free.

View Quoted Comment I know the feeling. We’re completely paying for our wedding as well. Minus 6 guest.
Its hard.
We were able to find a venue that had a lot included plus we negotiated a lower price. We didn’t want chair covers. We are making our own center pieces etc. that helped to lower the cost.

Im sure your big day is going to be perfect either way.

View Quoted Comment I wasn’t sure how far into planning she was.
I obviously know you can’t change venues after you sign a contract etc.
but if they haven’t signed and this was a place they were considering, she would be in a position to change venues...

I agree that non-alcoholic drinks should be complimentary to guests. You can also price what it would cost to do wine only - like a white and a red house wine - for open bar and cash only otherwise. I find wine is the most elegant of the options, anyway.

We basically did what your FH is saying. We put as much as we could possibly afford into the bar tab and once that limit was reached, it became a cash bar. Our tab lasted until the last hour of the reception.

View Quoted Comment I don't see how its weird or sneaky. But you're allowed to think that. I just dont want to tell them we have a cap or it becomes a drink hoarding situation. I should probably mention we're having a small wedding with only about 65 people who drink. I doubt our cap will even be met.
Also, don't be mean about other peoples ideas.

View Quoted Comment

Sorry I think I was misunderstood. I wasn't saying the 1 hour open bar was terrible or odd... just saying the way the guests acted was terrible (disrespectful)--- people literally ordering 5 drinks at a time and taking them to their table to "stock up for later" since they were free. I felt bad for the bride/groom because it ultimately backfired for their wallets since guests took advantage to another level.

I would say do an open bar for a little if you can than change to a cash bar. The VFW drinks are dirt cheap to begin with.

View Quoted Comment I’m not being mean about your idea. I’m simply saying you should think of all ways that that could play out. And you said it would cover most people’s first or second drink, that doesn’t imply you don’t think the cap will be met.
Just think about if the cap is met and not everyone got the same amount of drinks the drama or slight drama or could create amongst guests mad at someone for getting 4 drinks for example when they only got one. That’s all i was saying. Not mean, just something you should think about.

View Quoted Comment Oh gotcha, yes I misunderstood, I’m sorry. I thought open bar meant they had a deal with the venue that it didn’t matter how much the guests drank it was a set price for the bride and groom. If the couple was paying for an hour based on consumption, yes that is totally rude of the guests and definitely taking advantage.
Our open bar is a set price per hour no matter how much everyone drinks so I want people to drink as much as they want. Last call go grab 2 drinks you know!? It will cost us the same. So please, drink up!

Look into the cost of open bar for X amount of hours with just wine and beer. They usually include sodas and so on.

We bought a small keg which had about 64 beers in it and did a 3 gallon pitcher of a spiked summer punch. Once that was gone or if people wanted something other than that, they bought their own.

View Quoted Comment

Nita, I have NO one to help me pay for this. My mother died when I was 16 (cancer), my grandmother 2 yrs ago, my grandfather is gone and I dont know my father. SO YES I AM TAKING THIS PERSONAL RIGHT NOW. If you believe that guests shouldnt open there wallets then you must have ALOT of money cause honey I DONT!!!! My FH and I are the ones footing the bill for this WHOLE THING!!! Im sorry I dont have THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars to be spending on this. I WILL be having a CASH BAR!!!!! I have been to a few weddings where the bride and groom had a cash bar and things were good. I have been to MANY open bar weddings and things end up in disaster cause people cant hold there booze. We will be paying for the non-alcoholic beverages