Alcohol at reception with christian parents?

Who is paying for it all?

Tell them even Jesus served wine at weddings. im a strong christian and being a christian doesnt mean not drinking, unless this is somthing that the struggle with. my FI mom isnt even coming to our wedding bc she has a drinking problem and feels that coming out to california would cause her to stumble. sad and selfish i think...

if they have or had a drinking problem i could understand but if its purly because they are christian i think thats silly. no where in the bible does it say not to drink, it only says not to become drunk.

I guess I don't understand why they must leave if there is alcohol in the room. No one is asking them to partake of it. I am a Christian (and a wedding reverend) and do not feel the need to leave because drinks are in the room. Not only did Jesus turn water into wine at a wedding, but drank it, too. Anything legal, in moderation. Both sets of parents should remain through dinner and at least the father/daughter dance, for your sake alone! They had their wedding their way, now you get your turn. It would be great for them to stay and make sure no one drives inebriated, too. They could be designated drivers or call cabs for your guests.

My parents are paying for most, but my fiancee would pay for the drinking at the reception. The entire wedding budget is $2,500.

I can understand them not paying for it (which you have already told them apparently that you guys will pay for it), so I don't understand the problem. My future in-laws are pretty conservative, and don't really understand why we are having alcohol (my FH used to have a drinking problem, but has no problem being around it), but since they are not paying for it, they can't say anything. And if they get uncomfortable they will just leave after dinner and dances. What are they going to do if they get there and people have started drinking already? Leave and cause a scene and make themselves look bad? I say do what YOU want and would make YOU happy...it's not their reception, it's yours.

Exactly! Thank you for agreeing with me! See, my parents go to an old fashioned "holy roller" church. Which is fine, I don't judge...but I think some of the "beliefs" are silly! My dad also won't have a father daughter dance with me so I asked my brother to, and he said yes! I was so happy I could have cried!!! I also think that being Christian doesn't mean that you can't drink...but unfortunately our parents think otherwise which is causing a little drama. YUCK! Anyways, I think we'll go ahead and have the alcohol and celebrate! IT'S A WEDDING! lol! Thanks for all the support you guys!

Wow, that's a tough one. First of all, who is paying for the wedding on the wedding day? Secondly, it is your wedding and I am sure that you don't want to have family resentments after you are married, but you also have the right to make it "your" wedding. Can you sit down with your parents and discuss this with them? Why is alchol so important to you? What you could do would be to have the wedding ceremony, then have your lovely reception, with punch rather than alcoholic drinks, then you as the bride and groom, and anyone who might wish to attend could go to someones home and have all the drinking that you wanted, therefore not offending your parents, or anyone else that does not agree with drinking. (You could send special after reception invitations to just those that you are inviting to the after reception party.)

Moses had beer, Jesus turned water into wine so the wedding guests at Canaan could get drunk on good wine and the Apostle Paul tells us "not to be found drunk on new wine". As a minister I don't drink, so, when I am invited to the reception I will give the blessing, eat, and spend a few minutes with both sets of parents and the couple, and then excuse myself so that the real party can get started.

I don't know if you are having your wedding on property or at a venue but what my FH and I are doing is having a campout after the reception with all of our friends. Our "campout invites" stated: If you would like to join us after the reception we will be camping at . Please bring your own camping gear, something to contribute for breakfast and your drink of choice.

This way you save on money and you get to prolong your day! Since it isn't technically the wedding or reception you are not obligated to pay for their drinks all night long. At least that's how I feel.

OooOoo!! Good idea! I've never heard of a camping reception! Very creative

Ok, even though they are paying for some of it, their opinions might count but it doesn't mean they get to 'run the show' especially if your FI is paying for the alcohol. I would sit down with them and let them know that this a factor in your wedding and you would really love for them to stay but you have to think about your other guests that are attending and they would like to have a 'nice' beverage while celebrating 'your' day Good Luck!

You could also mention....

at my sisters wedding, we didnt have alcohol for financial reasons only, liquer license, bar tender, cost of alcohol, the venue didnt have any of this.

however my uncle and some other family members brought their own and just kept going outside to the ice chest in the back of his car to refill...

people will still bring alcohol to a wedding esp if they know there wont be, ive even done it myself. lol.

so say, its most likely gonna be there, either we provide it or people will sneak it in....

my FH who is a pastor thinks is very biblical to have alcohol at weddings seeing that it is a cause for celebration.

good luck, pray their hearts will be changed with in the next year.

That's a real bummer. I'm a Christian and also don't have a problem with drinking in moderation. If your parents are adament about not being there if there is drinking and their attendance matters to you, perhaps you can start the recpetion without alchohol and then after the cake cutting open the bar and they can choose to leave or not. I'd be surprised if they walked out halfway through.

You could try to compromise with them by offering alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. Also you could just offer beer and wine. Also try to remind them that Jesus did turn water into wine AT A WEDDING so if you think about it Jesus kind of wanted there to be wine at a wedding. JK =0) Good luck hun with everything

Arg. So tonight I VERY GENTLY brought up the subject and asked them why they were offended...then asked them to think about it...we did a recount and now we're expecting 250+ at the wedding adn out of those people, our parents, the children, and maybe 20 of their friends would abstain from drinking. Everyone else I KNOW AS A FACT DRINKS. I'm not saying we want everyone wasted, we just want an average, wedding reception/celebration! I don't think there's anything wrong with a little wine for celebration! We also decided tonight that since we have ALOT more people than we expected...we're just doing hors d'oervres ourselves, cake and punch, coffee, and my fiancee and I might make an alcoholic punch bowl. I'm not trying to be rebellious or offend people, but I don't understand why it's such a drama issue? lol

I don't personally know ANY Christians that don't drink! The few Catholic priests I know drink for sure. Regardless, you won't change their opinions I guess. What did they say when you asked them why they would be offended? It's probably the fact that they feel they are "hosting" the party, so maybe they feel that by having booze offered that in a way they are the ones providing it? Either way, you're right, you should do what you want to do, just let them know you want them to be there, and the rest is up to them!

And why won't he dance with you? Does he not agree with dancing?

Possible to serve the alcohol in a separate room?

Thanks, everyone! I'm sure it will all work out.

I just felt obligated to put my two cents in seeing as both my parents are ministers and my FH's father is also a minister. There will be tons of people from our churches and alot of ministers at our reception. We are not having a bar but we will be doing a champagne toast. If someone doesn't want to drink than they don't have to. In the Bible, it says that you can drink but that you shouldn't get drunk. If I remembered the exact scripture I would list it but I did learn this in Bible Study. Ultimately, in the end, it is your wedding so do what YOU want to do.

People are going to think i'm evil, but i say call your parents' bluff. there is no way they are going to leave the reception when everyone is having fun and their kids just got married. i really don't think they will leave. they don't want to miss the cake cutting, mother/son and father/daughter dance, etc. many christians drink. it is a fact of life. you're adults, it is your wedding, and if having alcohol available to your guests is important to you, then by all means, serve it up. parents need to be tolerant of an adult's decision. and they also need to be tolerant of others that do not have the same beliefs they do. good luck!