Alcohol at reception dilemma... opinions needed

In my opinion, I would pay for the guests to drink. If it's just not in your budget, I wouldn't worry about it, but it would definitely make for a more fun time for the guests. If I'm throwing an event and guests are traveling and making accommodations for the night, I don't want them paying for anything that I should be supplying.

Your guests should not have to open their wallet at an event you are hosting. If you can't afford an open bar, supply beer and wine.

I don't carry cash.. so a cash bar would be awful. A cash bar is in my opinion rude. Guests shouldn't have to pay for their own alcohol. If the open bar only costs $500, i'd pay that $500 if it's in budget, and be done with it. Token systems are juvenile, and guests are going to be curious why you only paid for a select few drinks, or put a cap on their drinks.

Just search these forums for “cash bar” and you’ll see how worked up people get about this. I personally think an open bar with at LEAST beer and wine is expected and necessary. I find it tacky and rude to expect guests that have possibly traveled a long way and dedicated a whole evening to celebrating your wedding to pay for their own drinks. But that’s just how my family and friends host weddings and other big events.

Plenty of people don’t see the problem with cash bars though. It seems to vary widely based on culture/location.

I will say, regarding your specific question, I would find the token system kind of weird and think it could logistically be a challenge. You’re going to have guests scrounging for and hoarding extra tokens. Might make more sense to do a consumption bar up to a certain amount, then have it turn into a cash bar (if some sort of open bar is truly not within your budget). If you do do a cash bar at any point, definitely make sure people know to bring cash - I never carry cash at weddings so would definitely be unprepared.

To a PP, I think OP was saying that bar fees to open the cash bar are only $500; this doesn't include any actual drinks for guests.

Neither of your options are appropriate. Pay for your guests' alcohol. If you cannot afford to host an open bar (with hard alcohol) for the entire event, host just wine and beer for the entire event.

I don't drink so it's not a big deal for me, or my family. My dad, who does drink, wouldn't care as long as he could get beer there.

Guests shouldn't have to pay for their own drinks. We spent nearly $10k on booze, it should be one of the bigger chunks of a wedding budget.

It depends on the crowd and you both! My fiance & I & our friends love to drink, and most our group events are at bars or breweries. So we are choosing to have an open beer & wine bar the whole time (liquor for purchase), plus a pre-ceremony cocktail served. But we went to his stepbrother's wedding and they had a cash bar, they both drink occasionally but have some family struggles with alcoholism and not drinking at all. So at that wedding, that made sense to us! But at our wedding, we might be chased out with pitchforks if some alcohol wasn't paid for

I am in agreement with most here. Open with just beer/wine bar or consumption turned to cash bar option. I don't drink a lot, but I'm from Wi where it's basically standard to have unlimited supply of beer at events. If you do a consumption bar that turns to cash make sure that people know ahead of time. I have been to weddings where they don't tell people and it's confusing to get free drinks and then be told you have to pay. I have also been to a wedding where they ran out of beer in Wi and most people left after that since the bride and groom also disappeared to find their own supply of beer outside the venue (don't do this ever!!!)

I would avoid the token system, like a PP said I think it would be a logistical nightmare.

I think a limited open bar might be the best compromise, they are usually cheaper than a full open bar.

If you can only afford a cash bar, then go that route. If you have the room in your budget, I would really try to do a limited open bar. It really sucks how expensive alcohol is!

I personally disagree with a lot of people who think that anything other than an open bar is wrong. I don't think that a couple should have to sell their souls to have a nice wedding. No one should have to start out a marriage in debt from a one day celebration. That being said, if your guests are family and friends they should understand that you have a budget that you need to stick to. If your guests get upset by a cash bar, then I don't think that they're really there to celebrate the couple who the day is about.

You do what works best for you!

Oh geez - another open vs cash bar question, consumption vs open, tickets, etc. .... UGH. if you search the forum you will see this has been asked many many many many many times before (each question with over 100 comments). It usually ends up not being pleasant for the one who asked! Personally I think you know your guests best, what they are used to, what is common in your community/family, what your guests may expect and what your budget is. Just do your best within those parameters. Myself, I couldn't host a wedding without paying for alcohol for my guests,

There was a similar topic last week and I have a question for you. Would you buy an expensive car and expect your family and friends to help you make the monthly payments? In reality, a cash bar is no different. You and your FH decided to host this event so the cost of doing so should be entirely yours. Asking your guests to help pay for your event is rude, and just because others have done it doesn't make it acceptable. There are ways to cut down on the cost of a bar - providing beer, wine and possibly a signature cocktail or two is perfectly acceptable. However, if you cannot afford to provide food, non-alcoholic and at least limited alcoholic beverages for all of your guests for the duration of your event then you should cut your guest list. I have a large family and have been to more weddings than I can count. The two complaints I have heard most often from guests are if the food was crappy and if they had to pay for their own drinks! They didn't say it to the couple but they said it to everyone else who would listen!

Neither of these are good options. Yes, people definitely care if they have to pay for drinks. You are hosting, your guests shouldn’t have to pay for anything.

So open bar all night isn’t an option with your venue?

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Excellent analogy on the car. It is true - you don't buy a house and expect people to buy your cable or dish - you do it yourself. Same with a wedding - it is an optional party, not a requirement.

OP - do no pass the cost of liquor onto your guests.

My fiancé and I have been going back and forth on the same topic... our venue offer beer and wine as part of the package however he wants to have an open bar... I’m going to be honest... I don’t give two cents about who wants to have their alcohol paid for... you should be happy that I chose you to come share my special day with me ... our list is extremely tight!! If you don’t want to open your wallet for alcohol, DONT!! I don’t care... I invited you to share one of the most important moments of my life with me and I have fed you, we have a photo booth , I’ve accommodated for your children.. and you mean to tell me since I won’t get you drunk there is an issue... ?? We literally just had this same arguement this morning... I’m not spending 4500 for people to have more, you made the list of being invited lol... that 4500 will be spent on our blissful honeymoon in Hawaii 🙂🙂

View Quoted Comment “You should be happy I CHOSE you to come share my special day”??

Wowwww. How about “I’m so grateful to my guests for taking time out of their busy lives to come celebrate my special day, so let me thank them by hosting them well"?

As a guest, I would not want to pay for my own alcohol...but I would never expect it. I would absolutely expect to have food to eat and a place to sit. I’ve been to a handful of weddings and the majority of them I have had no place to sit! I was bridesmaid in one wedding and I had to eat my dinner standing!

My venue is at a bar, and there is a bar minimum we are paying. We will be doing a modified bar of beer, wine, and perhaps a sig drink. The bar minimum should be more than enough for my 50something guests who will be consuming. If the minimum ends up being drank up, it will turn into a purchase bar from there. I’m actually thinking of asking my venue if they can close the bar when and if we reach the minimum but I’m on the fence about this as people might like to continue drinking. Still plenty of time to save up money and figure that out! Anyway, could your venue do something like that? In the end, do what works for you. Weddings and alcohol are so expensive and etiquette is a biznitch!

View Quoted Comment Can still host well without paying extra 5000 for alcohol 🙂🙂... that should not be a make or break for a event. I’m very thankful for them celebrating with me, therefore I will make sure the are comfortable, bellies are full, they can dance all night , have a parting gift.

The only time I ever cared about paying for my own drinks was when it wasn’t properly communicated ahead of time. I would just pay for the open bar as a thank you to your guests for coming to share your special day.