Agghh Nigerian Wedding!!!

His mother is willing to cook Nigerian food for...gasp...300 people? Well, you'll save some catering money there. If you really think your guest list is likely to be 300, you have to find a venue to accommodate 300 (wedding crashers? That can be prevented). You're getting married off-season, so that should save you some money. Also, your caterer will only be supplementing what M-I-L is willing to make. Seriously...she's going to cook for hundreds of people?

Ok first, if FH's family isn't helping pay, then no need to invite all 100 people they put on. That is a lot of people to feed and give drinks to. So see if they can trim down the list first. Then try to get a rough idea of who is on the guest list, usually about 20% will decline. You know the people best though, are they all from out of town? Then maybe you'll have even more decline. So really get the list figured out and who can help pay first.

Then as far as his mom cooking the food, has she ever cooked for 300 people before?? That would take days and days plus TONS of people helping and you have to have all the right equipment to keep things hot or cold, plus serving trays and spoons and everything. The worst thing is to not have enough food for all your guests. So if she wants to help with a particular dish then you have a caterer for the rest that would be okay.

I would suggest not going with restaurants or hotels because they most often require you to use their caterer. Before looking into venues though really determine what is important for you and your FH (what it looks like, how many guests you want, how formal it should be, etc).

Nigerian weddings seem so festive and fun and BEAUTIFUL. The colors are always so rich. I've never known a Nigerian wedding to be small. LOL! Certainly wish I could help you with venue suggestions but you are not in my area. I am guessing that when you say your FH wants his Mom to prepare all of the food that includes some relatives too? If not, his Mom is going to be wiped out by the time of the wedding day. Plus how is she going to be able to enjoy the day if she is in charge of the food? Perhaps you could stress that to him and he may be open to catering. Maybe have Mom help choose the caterer. Otherwise, I think you are going to have a very difficult time finding a venue that would allow his Mom to cater and most likely she would have to provide catering insurance. If he does insist on his Mom cooking then could you use a planner to help find a venue?

Oh I forgot to mention that my MIL will have family members to help prepare the Nigerian food and a license, but we will need a wait staff to actually serve the food. We will have American food also (a different caterer), so she won't have to prepare food for 300...just about 150. I thought that was still a lot of work for her too, but she's happy to do it (she doesn't like the fact of a caterer or someone else making it either). That's great advice though!... they aren't paying, so the list has to slim down. I just tried to be nice to allow them to invite ppl I may not have had on the list already since it's their oldest son and all. I may have just bit off more than I can chew

I have no advice to offer, but wanted to say good luck!

My colleague is Nigerian and from what he says, 300 is small for a wedding (crazy, right?). The smallest wedding his family has had is 500. His was 1,000! I can't even imagine.

He did have an intimate gathering in his backyard before that craziness...

"regular black" irks me for some reason, despite your "lol" to soften it.

That aside,

I wouldn't worry from a financial standpoint. You know those money dances that everyone hates, that people think are so offensive?

It's a STAPLE at Nigerian weddings, and Nigerians make it rain!!! lmao ...even if they don't know you!! (it's their cultural wedding tradition, so don't shake your fingers at me ladies)

Also, hold into consideration that it is their eldest son, which makes it even that much more of a big deal (a general African mindset) so they will most likely do whatever is in their power to make sure your FH has everything HE needs --- which is why for them, cooking for 150 people is okay.

You can still do the Parisian atmosphere by way of decor

It will work out in the end, don't let this 'hiccup' deter you

Oh sorry Bride2Bee. I was born in Oklahoma City and I'm black/African American. I hope that's better. I just wanted to point out that our backgrounds/cultures are different.

Oh I'm looking forward to the money part ...that's my FAVORITE part, I'm not offended at all . I will dance and fan my fan while my girls pick up the owo (money)! I know it's special and tradition for them to do it BIG and I don't want to take that away from them, but I don't want OUR wedding taken away from us either. It's a special celebration for everybody, but most importantly, us!

All is well

I see your point though

Whewwww, Jesus, 300 people???? I am wishing you alllll the good luck! LOL

What is "regular black"...Haha, I'm just bustin your lady balls...I know what you mean...Black American...Right?

Anywho, Nigerian weddings are OUT OF CONTROL...So be prepared for a guest list of at least 300 with extra cousins and other folk showing up that you didn't even invite.

Just embrace and enjoy the experience. You will be treated like a queen in the process.

Girl I feel your pain. I'm also marrying a Nigerian. All I can say is, it is what it is....Lol. It's just something we'll have to swallow. There really is no saying no to their guest list. In their cultural, anybody and everybody is welcome to a celebration! Weddings most of all. Just know that when Nigerians show up, they truly are there to celebrate YOU, your new union and they will shower you with love (and money). When Americans show up, (let's be honest), a lot of folks just want to be nosey or participate in a free party!

Also, I'm sure his family is covering the cost of your traditional attire right? So you are saving money there and saving money on catering too - AND getting sprayed during the money dance! :-)

Yea I have come to the realization that I'd rather have everybody there treating me like a queen than crickets (cue cricket sound)...at my wedding. Lol.

I don't know if his parents are buying our traditional attire, but that's a good question.

Completely understand this! Luckily I kinda knew ahead of time about the huge guest list and unpredictability. (Do you also know about African time? Plan everything to run an hour later). We have been to weddings where they have bouncers and require an invite with a certain number of people admitted per invite, but that took forever to get everyone in. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this, but if you figured out a good method, please share!

View Quoted Comment How did this work out for you? I’m currently in the beginning planning stages for a wedding in Honolulu Hawaii. My fiancé and I were talking about having his relative prepare the Nigerian food for the wedding and we would hire a wait staff. We expect maybe 80-100 guests. But as I was thinking about amounts of food, prep for the ceremony during the reception etc., it just seemed hard to think about logistically and a lot of work for his family. I thought I’d the idea to do part Nigerian food like you say here, but is that just gonna cost so much more money than needed? Was the wait staff with the food catering company?