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Dedicated November 2019

After Party or not to After party

Kiki, on July 26, 2019 at 1:24 PM Posted in Planning 0 10

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So our venue offers to have an after party at the bar located at the venue. It's reasonably priced 2 hours extra and it's an open bar and some more snacks. Now I would loveeeee to do this because all I hear or read about is how the couple didn't get to enjoy their night because they were so busy. Now I would love to do this I feel like it would be more laid back, and I would only want to invite immediate family and friends for a more chilled out night. We're leaving the next morning for our honeymoon so we cannot have a brunch the next morning which would've been a nice option as well. My issue is how do I go about telling people about it without word spreading and now a million people showing up. I want something more intimate and I would like to change and unwind a little. I also don't want to offend anyone if they show up ... And that would also start to add up if people decide to just come on in. Should I even do it ? I also don't feel like it would be smart for people to bring kids ... Though the venue allows it. But I mean should kids really be at a bar ? Idk ! Please let me know what you guys would do.

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Latest activity by Jeanie, on July 27, 2019 at 8:01 PM

VIP September 2019
Lauren · on July 26, 2019 at 1:34 PM
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What time does your reception end?
Most older people, and people with young kids will start to leave after cake. Others will tend to leave around 10/10:30. I would be surprised if you have a full crowd for the after party.
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Super July 2021
Alycia · on July 26, 2019 at 1:44 PM
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We are having an after party, but we are doing it at a different location. We are putting a separate invitation for it in some of our wedding invitations. I know some of the other people are bound to hear about it. They can come if they want because it’s at a local pub where anyone can go. Everyone will be paying their own tabs at the after party. We already will be paying for their dinner, drinks, etc at the reception.
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Dedicated November 2019
Kiki · on July 26, 2019 at 1:52 PM
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Ends at 10 the issue with kids going is that, any of the kids coming belong to the bridal party ! So not sure what to do
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Dedicated November 2019
Kiki · on July 26, 2019 at 1:53 PM
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I'm thinking I might do that maybe another location would be best that way we aren't stressed money wise ? Then also elimantes children lol. Which I love them but at that time of the night they're going to be exhausted anyway
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VIP September 2023
Erin · on July 26, 2019 at 1:59 PM
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I'm doing an after party, it's an unofficial thing and it'll be at a bar nearby. I'm planning on having a late-morning/early-afternoon wedding and the event will likely be over by about 5 or 6 depending on when we decide to get started. I don't want my day to end that early, so I'm moving everyone to a bar if they want to go. It also gives people the option of continuing the party or flying home if they need to. Most of our guests are out of state.
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on July 26, 2019 at 2:13 PM
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I have friends who won't take their kids into a bar and grill at a bowling alley because it's a bar. And I have friends whose kids have definitely been in bars. Depends on how they choose to parent their kids, so that's up to you, not them.
I think it's a know your crowd situation. I'd certainly be happy to go home for the night at 10pm. 10 years ago, we'd hit the bars, late night, an after party, and an after after party and return home at 6am. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

If I had the energy to go to an after party after my wedding, I'd probably just invite my friends, but family. But I'm old and I'd just go home, tell at kids to stay off my lawn, and save my money.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on July 27, 2019 at 5:12 AM
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It would be near impossible for those with kids to get a sitter at 10pm, so I’m not sure how you would tell your bridal party they are invited but their kids aren’t. Honestly, if it were me, I would be offended if you had this after party and told me I had to take my son elsewhere to be allowed to participate in the after party, especially after doing everything that’s involved with being a bridesmaid. I wouldn’t come back. I get what you’re saying about kids at a bar, but if that’s what you want maybe you should look into some other options or provide babysitting for those with kids.
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Devoted September 2019
WinesandWhiskey · on July 27, 2019 at 5:56 PM
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Were doing an after party at a different location that is more casual, weve just spread the word by word of mouth
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Dedicated November 2019
Kiki · on July 27, 2019 at 6:03 PM
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I didn't say that they couldn't come I'm just wondering if having children at a bar with drinking parents that had to go home would be an issue.
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on July 27, 2019 at 8:01 PM
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My mistake. I misunderstood you. I think it would be up to the parent at that point. Some will be ok with it, others will not. But if it’s at your venue that you had your wedding at, it’s not going to be like going to the local bar. I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it. I would also expect for the parents to have a designated driver either way, so that shouldn’t be an issue.
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