After party or Na?

Is there a bar you guys can meet up at ? Just casually tell people after the wedding you'll probably go back and change and then head out for drinks. If you don't make it anything formal you don't need to pay

I'd say wait til the day of.
Our reception is a late one, so I can't imagine wanting to go out after. But usually I'm ready to be home and quiet with my fiance.
You may want to do that, or you may want to keep going. I'd agree with pp about super casual get together later.

Our reception ended at 5. We did schedule an official after party because (1) didn’t want to spend more money (2) didnt want to overcommit if we were too tired to do anything else.


We ended up talking with some friends towards the end of the reception and arranging to meet in the lobby at 6:30. We met up and then went out to dinner with about 15-20 friends. But like it wasn’t an official “party” or anything, it was just like “everyone met up for dinner” so it’s not like there was any expectation for us to pay. Then after dinner we went back to our hotel suite with my husband’s best man, one of his groomsmen, and other one of his friends and his wife. We all just hung out and talked until about midnight.

It was really casual and low key, which was nice because I’m not much of a partier or a drinker lol. The guys had some drinks back at our hotel suite but I didn’t drink (and neither did his friend’s wife because she was pregnant at the time lol). We were also really tired but still wanted to spend time with friends so I feel like what we did worked out perfectly!

I dont think you should pay for the guests if you are going to after party. Is your wedding having a luncheon? I say go to dinner after you rest & freshen up then go out for drinks or maybe even the club but that depends on ur timing. But definitely Everyone can pay for themselves.

I think for an after party at a bar you could have guests just pay for themselves

View Quoted Comment True I like that idea.

View Quoted Comment Yes girl I’m leaning towards having that intimate time just me and my husband ya know.. I’ll prolly be tired too. I’m afraid I might plan it then not feel like it the day of lol

View Quoted Comment That sounds perfect the way you did it! And yes i’m afraid I may not feel like it afterwards. Thinking for now I won’t commit to anything! thanks

View Quoted Comment My venue we are doing 3 course meals, salad, salmon, steak and chicken with dessert AND open bar. Originally we wanted to do after party at our house that evening where we would buy liquor and something to eat on during that time. But as I’m thinking about it now I don’t think it’s necessary after just feeding them and having an open bar. I think I’m just being extra lol

View Quoted Comment I’m not going feel like going to bar lol I was thinking something small at our house.

View Quoted Comment Hmm I like the intimate part of it but honestly if it was me I would not want to host & cleanup after everyone leaves. To me that sounds tiring after an already (fun but very) tiring day.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I think it’s safe to assume a lot of your guests (especially those from out of town) won’t have plans after the reception, or will assume that they’re going to try to go out/do something with you guys after. That’s what happened with most of our friends... when we talked to them towards the end of the reception they were all just like “so what are you guys doing after this and can we come?” Lol. And of course no one would’ve been offended if we said no we’re exhausted and just spending the evening alone. So it was nice to have the option!

We’re doing an after party at a local bar, but it’s more of an “informal” thing so if you want something, you buy it for yourself. It’s pretty common for my family so it won’t be a shock for anyone.

One of my friends had a BBQ at her house a week after her wedding and it worked for her.

You could have a small get together or party after I think guests would be happy to attend that. Plus you don't have to plan a big shin dig. just got to a restaurant or somewhere for just dessert and drinks.

I think a night or two before would be ideal for you because, no shade, lol it seems like you're gong to be finnicky about going anywhere after the ceremony...and i get it! I would be too! We're having a destination wedding but are having a reception after the ceremony because people are traveling to our wedding so we do wanna feed 'em. lol Something casual and laid back before the big day sounds like something you would enjoy and can thank them for joining you guys, and then after the wedding, you and hubby can enjoy your honeymoon suite uninterrupted.

Happy Wedding Planning!

:-)

Thanks everyone for the ideas and responses however after talking with my future husband we have decided to do a “I Do” barbecue a few weeks after we get married. Wedding is 5/30/20 @ 12pm then reception right after ending at 4 PM, we are doing three-course meals open bar etc. at reception.. We are now realizing an after party is not necessary, although it would be nice to party until late but we may be tired lol

We had a room block at a hotel and did an after party at that hotel bar. I just ordered a bunch of pizza and wings and had a cash bar. I have friends and family who like to keep the party going, so it was fun to keep hanging out with everyone. Especially those I don't see that often.

View Quoted Comment
Honestly, I don’t think an I Do BBQ is a replacement for an after party. In fact I’d think it’d be super weird to be invited to another wedding event after attending a formal reception a few weeks earlier.

The reason why guests like after parties is because they’re riding the high of seeing their loved ones wed and want to keep the party going

Urgh my reply posted before I was done! But basically, I wouldn’t do an I Do BBQ, especially if you think it’d replace an after party in any way, because it won’t. Two totally different parties—and the former is usually for people who elope or have destination weddings.


I honestly think a bar is the best choice because then all you have to do is make an appearance and then slip out with your husband when you’re ready to go, leaving everyone else to continue their good time. Also, it’s totally fine to not cover anyone’s food or drinks if you casually present it to everyone as “we’re going to go to x bar if anyone wants to continue celebrating!”
If you have it at your house, you don’t really have control over when people leave, you have to clean your house and prep and/or order snacks and drinks that obviously you’ll have to pay for.

View Quoted Comment Ahh now I see... that makes perfect sense, I can see why a bar would be a better option!
thank you