Advice

What has she done in specific that you feel that she has tried to one up you? Maybe it is not the case but maybe it is.

I would limit sharing your plans with her. Be there to support each other, but you don’t need to disclose any actual plans. Try to enjoy this time together with your friend, you will find that most people aren’t as excited to talk wedding plans as much as you will be, so try to see this as a positive

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!

I would avoid sharing your plans with her. Otherwise, she will continue to one up you.

I struggled with this after I got engaged. My best friend would cut me off any time I started to talk about my wedding with her own plans. I finally just stopped talking about my wedding. Six months later she got engaged and is having a very short engagement where as I am having a long engagement. Our wedding is also six months after my FH brothers wedding so I understand how you feel. My only advice is to do what you want with your wedding and try not to talk about it with her very often.

Aww I'm so sorry. It can be really nice to have a friend engaged at the same time because it can be great to share stories and ask/give advice when you have a friend going through the same thing, however it shouldn't be turned into a competition. One of my closest friends and I are getting married on the same day, on opposite coasts, and I try to talk to her about wedding stuff but she's so not into planning (her FH and FMIL are making most of the decisions) so it is what it is. I'd probably not bring up wedding stuff, and if she brings it up and you talk about it and she seems like she is trying to compete with you, I'd just address it directly with her. If she's a close friend you should be able to have an intentional conversation with her about how you feel without it turning into a battle.

I totally get this! My FH brother got engaged 2 weeks after us and then picked thier date 3 weeks after ours. I feel like shes "stealing" my ideas. They even went to try food from our caterer... its exciting to talk about the wedding and the thought of talking to someone about it is great but having to deal with them, mostly her has by far been the most stressful part! I even changed my colors because she picked the same ones.... good luck 😕

I think it's all about attitude. My friend is getting married 3 weeks after us and I'm nothing but stoked for her and helping each other a lot with planning. We have 2 other friends who got engaged close to us and they both picked our venue (after we chose it) and are both using our florist, too. Doesn't bother me in the slightest!
Do you think she's purposely trying to "one up you"? Or does she simply have a bigger budget or even different ideas than you?
Honestly, it could be nothing and may just be the way you interpret it as a threat.
Try to look at the positives and have fun planning at the same time!

Aside from logistical planning to make sure your weddings/bachelorettes/showers aren't on the same day, find ways to reconnect with her that aren't wedding related!! Talk about work, or your jobs, or her new puppy, etc. etc. and when the conversation steers back to wedding stuff change the topic "Now that you mention flowers, I forgot to tell you that Sarah at work today got the most beautiful bouquet from her mom! So sweet, right?"

My BIL is exactly the same way with my husband, even saying he proposed to my now SIL because he could tell we were getting serious and he "had to be first". While he's laid back about it, I would be absolutely fuming with these types of conversations, and would find a new girlfriend to share all of my wedding planning excitement with. Of course, she'll likely continue to want to share all of her wedding stuff, and if you're in the headspace to enjoy it and be happy for her (this may take time if you're feeling angry with her now!) then listen and tell her how great her ideas are and all the other things you would do if she was getting engaged the year after your wedding! You definitely can take a more direct route and say something to her about it! Whether it's a "I feel like when we talk about our weddings it feels like you're being competitive instead of us both being happy for each other" or a little softer "You know, I've been working on so much wedding planning lately, I'd really like some time to relax and talk about other things" Good luck girl

Stop sharing details with her. That is the only way to get rid of the "competition". Don't ask her about her wedding either. If she asks how planning is going just say "great!" and change the subject!

FH has a friend who is getting married three weeks before us. I wouldn't consider his fiance my friend in any sense of the word, but we tolerate each other when we have to. But I feel like she is trying to steal our spotlight. FH and I are having a long engagement (he's in grad school), so even though they got engaged almost a year after us. Her ring is nearly identical to my custom designed one and they're getting married first only because she wanted to be the first in the friend group to get married. NYE she burst into the house all but screaming about their wedding and needing everyone's addresses. It took literally all I had not to say something mean. As much as she tried to get me to share details, I refused to avoid her stealing more of my ideas.

If she's a really good friend and you don't want your friendship to end over having overlapping engagements you need to discuss this with her. It might help to have some hangouts with her where wedding talk is completely off limits. And maybe the next time you only talk about her wedding, the next only about yours and then back to a no wedding talk hangout. It's very easy to start the comparison game with close engagements/weddings, but you have to remember whats important to them as a couple isn't necessarily important to you and your fiance.