Advice

You're allowed to be disappointed, but it happens. Everyone can't make it to every event.

Sure, you are entitled to be upset but sometimes things happen that are beyond your control so while you have every right to be upset, also try to be understanding and what is keeping her from being able to attend and not let it ruin the relationship with her.

Yes. That can be upsetting. I got kind of annoyed at mine for bailing on the bachelorette last minute but it is what it is.

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It just bothers me some because I was there for all her events for her wedding.
I was about to send an ugly tex that wasn’t necessary.

We get married Saturday and one of my hubby's groomsmen decided he can't come. He said his kids have something that day that he forgot about! I'm feeling some type of way about that, so I know for a fact I would in your situation. I think it really depends on the circumstances though. If she has an emergency or something of that nature, it's hard to be upset. In our case, I feel like he just used his kids so he didn't sound like a jerk.

For me, it would depend on the excuse. If it was a real excuse she couldn't get out of, I'd be hurt but understand. If it's something like "I don't want to drive an hour" or something silly, I'd be way more annoyed.

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Think very, very carefully before you send an ugly text. A bridal shower is only a tangential event related to an important event (your wedding). Do you really want to harm a friendship over an optional party?

So yeah, of course you are allowed to be disappointed. But don't let that disappointment blossom into anger or retaliation!

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Traveling to NY

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I would definitely be a bit hurt because she had to have known the date for your shower and his party in advance, but in the grand scheme of things, it is a family obligation, so it is at least a pretty good excuse!

You have every right to get upset if she isn't going to be there, but you cannot hold it against her or get mad at her for it. Some things come up and things happen. At least she told you in advance instead of just not showing up at all and not telling you.

Of course! However it would be inappropriate to be angry at her. Life happens and not everyone will be able to make it to all your events!