Advice

Ask yourself in 20 years will you look back and still be in touch with these people? I would be very selective with who you have in your bridal party, I don’t think having uneven side by one person will even be noticeable

I agree with Leanne. If they’re not a part of your nearest and dearest, then don’t ask. My FH has 5 on his side and I have 3. It’s going to look fine no matter what.

View Quoted Comment I would say that I could see myself staying friends with Jake, but maybe not Jane. My best friend "Ashley" is better friends with Jane than I am. Ashley lives 3 hours from me so I see her like once a month. Sometimes Jane will hang out with us. I have actually known Jane longer than Ashley, but I feel like I've really only stayed friends with her because she is friends with Ashley. As for Jake, him and I met in college. We don't often see each other because he lives 2 hours from me, but we text and Snapchat all of the time. I would say he is definitely one of my closer friends. Most of my bridal party is made up of family rather than friends though. I think my concern with asking him is how his girlfriend will feel about him being in another girl's wedding and him feeling obligated to say yes, but not having the money to actually be in the wedding.

Thirding the "don't choose people just to have even sides" advice. And definitely don't choose people based on their finances or what you think they can do/buy/show up for. If they are your nearest and dearest, the money aspect won't matter. If they aren't, they don't need to be in your wedding party.

This site is positively littered with stories of bridal parties gone wrong, and the root cause is often that people were chosen for the wrong reasons.

View Quoted Comment I would say that Jake is definitely one of my closer friends. Most of my bridal party is made up of family except for my maid of honor. I think my hesitation with asking Jake is because I don't know how his girlfriend would feel about him being in my wedding and I don't want to feel obligated to say yes when he is planning on proposing and buying a house. My mom thinks I should ask him and if he can't afford to be a part of the wedding then he will say no. I just hate to put him in an uncomfortable situation. As for Jane, I only really hang out with her when I'm hanging out with my best friend/maid of honor since they are also friends, but I have actually known Jane longer than her.

View Quoted Comment I would consider Jake one of my closest friends, but not so much Jane. I only really hang out with Jane if she is hanging out with my best friend/maid of honor since they are friends, but I have known Jane longer. I'm worried about Jake feeling obligated to say yes and how his girlfriend would feel about him being in my wedding.

It just sounds like jake is a better choice to ask. i feel like there's no harm in asking jake, though.

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It sounds as though Jake is the one you should ask to be in your party. I wouldn't worry about how his girlfriend feels about being in your wedding; you're his friend and that will be his decision to accept or decline the request. If he does decline, however, I say to then just keep your sides uneven instead of asking Jane to fill in.

Don’t choose either of them. You’re not close enough that you wanted them in your bridal party in the first place, don’t have them in the wedding just to fill some number.

I have to agree with Caytlyn on this--if neither Jake nor Jane were your first thoughts when you asked yourself "who do I really want next to me when I get married" then you'd probably be more comfortable with them as guests.

Even sides are vastly overrated, and no one should ever pick a "back-up" choice (or kick someone off the list) just to fill a spot

I agree with Caytlyn and Megan. Having perfectly even sides is overrated, and not necessary. I would only have the people who you are truly closest too, and simply not ask either of them!

View Quoted Comment I actually haven't asked anyone yet. Both of them immediately came to mind because them friends. I would consider Jake one of my close friends, but because he is proposing and buying a house i didn't know if it was a good idea to have him in the wedding.

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If they both came to mind immediately, then I'm a bit confused as to why you posted--it seems like they're in a battle (in your own mind) over the "last place" spot in your bridal party.

You've described Jake favorably while Jane, not so much. You can ask Jake if you'd like. He can make a decision based on his own financial/timing circumstances.