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Just Said Yes December 2018

Advice on wedding date - 12/21/18 vs 12/23/18

emleh, on January 1, 2018 at 8:38 AM Posted in Planning 0 24

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Hello and happy new year! Long-time lurker, first time poster: I could really use your input on choosing a wedding date as I’ve been stressing about this for the better part of a week.

The majority of our families will be traveling internationally to join us for our wedding in St. Augustine, Florida, so for them, this will be a destination wedding, and they intend on making a vacation out of their trip to Florida. For this reason, we’re having our wedding close to Christmas because it’s easier with their vacation time as many of them are teachers and/or have children in school. And plus December in our wedding city is simply charming.

However, my fiancé and I, and the majority of our friends, live 45 minutes north of St. Augustine in Jacksonville, so most of our friends (amounting to about half of the total guest count) will make the drive to our wedding straight from work, and many will drive home the same evening.

Now, we were all set for signing a contract with our venue for Friday, 12/21/18, but I’m having some last minute doubts about having the wedding on a Friday, with a nagging feeling we should move it to Sunday, 12/23/18 (an evening wedding regardless of date).

My reasons for this are that an important aspect of our wedding is the “wedding weekend”-esque festivities: in my head, I’ve always envisioned spending quality (fun!) time with our families and friends leading up to the wedding doing various activities. If we have the Friday wedding, we could still do this during the week with family, but our friends would not be able to attend because of work. If we hold the wedding on the Sunday, it’s more likely our friends will join in on the pre-wedding activities and some will even stay overnight on Saturday since they don’t have work. In addition, with a Friday wedding, the Rehearsal would be on Thursday, meaning that all of our in-town BP would have to drive in on Thursday and take Friday off from work, which they’ve already said is perfectly fine, but I still feel weird about asking them to do.

So so my question is: Is 12/23 just too close to Christmas, even if it falls on a Sunday? Am I placing too much emphasis on the pre-wedding fun? Do any of you have similar experiences either as a bride/groom/BP, or as a guest? Thank you SO much for any wisdom you can share!

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24 Comments

Latest activity by earias, on January 1, 2018 at 5:49 PM

Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on January 1, 2018 at 9:02 AM
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How many of your friends are planning on heading out of town for Christmas? When are they planning on leaving? Many might not wait until the 24th to travel, so you might have fewer people at your wedding than you expect. Also, even if they attend on the 23rd, they might need to leave an evening wedding early in order to drive home that night in anticipation of leaving for Christmas the next day. I'm not sure I would expect friends to take part in a lot of activities right before Christmas. That's asking a lot of them. Just remember, you'll be far more excited about what plans you have than your guests will be. Don't be disappointed if you find they don't join in as much as you thought they might.
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Devoted January 2018
Kourt · on January 1, 2018 at 9:07 AM
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What do you anticipate as per wedding festivities? We’re having a Saturday wedding and I’m taking 2 days of work off - one for nails and last minute crafts and one for setting up the venue and rehersal/grooms dinner. Not all my BRidal party is able to be there Thursday, but will come later Friday for the rehearsal. To be honest, if I was a guest or part of your party, I would prefer the 12/21 date especially for those that need to travel home for Christmas. However, it is your day and those that support you will try their best to be there. Just know that if it’s that close to Christmas, some guests may not be able to make it due to other plans.
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on January 1, 2018 at 9:10 AM
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I would prefer the 21st as a guest. The 23rd is too close to Christmas Eve and could interfere with guests travel plans
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Dedicated April 2019
Brittany · on January 1, 2018 at 9:14 AM
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I would go with the 21st. That way the guests have a small break before Christmas. And just don't get too disappointed if not that many people take part in the festivities with it being that close to Christmas and because it's your wedding not theirs.
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Expert July 2018
lilam18 · on January 1, 2018 at 9:27 AM
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The 21st for sure. If people are hosting on Christmas or Christmas Eve, having a wedding right before could be super stressful - not to mention wrapping presents, filling stockings, etc.

i also wouldn’t get too hung up on the pre-wedding activities. That close to the holidays, a lot of people may be too burned out physically and financially to participate.
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Master September 2018
NikNak · on January 1, 2018 at 9:31 AM
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12/21 sounds like a better idea, honestly, if you are looking for some wedding weekend fun, it can be an after wedding event. At least that way, anyone who has other plans for the holidays can book out and they're not missing the big event.
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Master July 1867
OGJessieJV · on January 1, 2018 at 9:32 AM
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I’ve done the 21st and didn’t think it too close to Christmas. The 23rd is definitely too close.
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Master October 2017
O · on January 1, 2018 at 10:03 AM
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The 21st. IMO that's still cutting it close, but it's better than the 23rd because Christmas Eve is the next day.
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Devoted July 2018
Mrsp · on January 1, 2018 at 10:16 AM
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I personally would choose 12/21. Being so close to Christmas, your guests will have a lot going on anyway and I'd want to give them the option to have time with their families for Christmas.

Also, that's my parents' anniversary. It's been a great date for them.
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VIP July 2016
LuvBeingMarried2Him! · on January 1, 2018 at 10:20 AM
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I would muchhhhhhhh rather the 21st as a guest.
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Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on January 1, 2018 at 10:38 AM
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I'm getting married during Nights of Lights and live in St. Augustine as well! Very exciting! I agree 12/21 is more convenient. I wouldn't want to spend a lot of money and gas to come to St. Aug if you don't live here to do activities so close to Christmas. I think wedding weekend activities usually include family traveling anyhow and less of your local friends. You see them often, I'd assume, so focus more on spending that time with your family that's traveling far.
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Just Said Yes December 2018
emleh · on January 1, 2018 at 10:41 AM
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Saturday would have been ideal, but the venue is $7K more on Saturday than on Friday or Sunday (December is prime wedding season in Florida). We just couldn’t justify it, unfortunately!
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Just Said Yes December 2018
emleh · on January 1, 2018 at 10:43 AM
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This makes me feel so very happy! Thank you for sharing. Congratulations to your parents (and to you!) ❤️
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on January 1, 2018 at 12:02 PM
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Your thoughts are a bit contradictory. You say most of your friends will drive to the wedding and home from the wedding on the same day. Then you say that if you had the wedding on the Sunday, they would drive down early to participate in wedding weekend activities and maybe even stay over Saturday night.
I think you are deluding yourself about the extent to which your friends will want to participate in wedding weekend activities with your visiting family and right before Christmas.
Given that you chose not to have a Saturday wedding, I would choose the 21st.
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Dedicated June 2018
Mary · on January 1, 2018 at 12:30 PM
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I would choose 12/23. If I were invited to a Friday wedding that was 45 minutes away, I probably wouldn’t be able to make it after work or I’d be very late. I also feel that Friday weddings are rushed and exhausting. I would rather go to a Sunday wedding and leave early. That’s just my personal preference if I’m a guest. I am also having my wedding on a Sunday but for religious reasons.
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Master July 2017
A. L. · on January 1, 2018 at 12:37 PM
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The 23rd I think would be worse, because then if people stay overnight, you're forcing them to travel on Christmas Eve.
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Super December 2018
Lacy · on January 1, 2018 at 12:51 PM
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I'd personally go with the 21st. My wedding is actually on the 22nd and I was thinking, why not Saturday? But it's understandable that you couldn't justify the cost.
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Expert July 2018
Katie · on January 1, 2018 at 12:55 PM
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If I were a friend, I would prefer Friday the 21st. I assume a fair number of people would take Monday off since Christmas is a Tuesday. Having a non family obligation smack dab in the middle of what would be a 4 day break would be inconvenient.

Like a PP said, I think you're overestimating how much your friends would want to participate in wedding festivities before a major holiday.
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Dedicated September 2019
Diane · on January 1, 2018 at 1:01 PM
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I'm getting grief over my date on the 28th bc of it being right after Christmas... I would suggest that Friday or Saturday. I know Saturdays are more expensive, but from a wedding guest/bridal party standpoint, it would be a lot easier with the Holiday.
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Just Said Yes December 2018
emleh · on January 1, 2018 at 1:33 PM
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Thanks everyone for your input! I hugely appreciate it, and you’ve helped allay my final fears about our wedding date. This has been a reality check that, although it is my wedding day, a competition with Christmas is indeed an impossible one to win and that people may not be as excited about pre-wedding fun as I am!

We’re sticking with 12/21.
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