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Beginner November 2020

Advice on micro wedding and cancelled reception

Lgdp, on November 22, 2020 at 10:19 PM Posted in Planning 1 9
Hello! My husband and I were supposed to get married in DC in May of this year and we had to postpone to November when covid first hit. Once we got to August and things still weren’t better (and we spoke to our venue about all the restrictions still in place) we decided to instead do a micro wedding in November up in Cape Cod (a special place for my family) and postpone the bigger wedding to October 2021. There were 20 guests total including us. It was Immediate family plus my MOH and my husband’s best man. We got married at a church the next town over from my parents house, did a cocktail hour on my parents deck, then went to an inn down the road for a lovely (extended) cocktail hour and hors d’oeuvres and formal dinner in front of a fireplace. We still did speeches and first dances. It was so incredibly stunning and special. Everything ended with a backyard bonfire at my parents and we had a catered brunch at the house the next day.


So here’s where I’m asking for advice for any brides who have gone through something similar with planning. Everything went so well with the micro wedding that we actually decided to cancel our big party next year for a few reasons. Mainly, we felt it was another year of planning and we kind of wanted to move on with our lives after changing plans 3 times. Especially since we still don’t know if we’ll be able to have over 100 or 150 people next year because of covid. We will also get to use that $ to put towards our future and a trip abroad.
Now after cancelling I’m of course second guessing that decision and wondering if I’ll regret it since we won’t have the opportunity to celebrate our marriage with all of our friends and family and get the band/dancing/party experience. Has anyone else had this same experience of planning a micro wedding and postponed reception? Would also love to hear from anyone who’s done a micro wedding instead of a big reception, and how you’re feeling about it!


9 Comments

Latest activity by Lgdp, on November 23, 2020 at 3:31 PM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Only you can answer that question, I'm 100 percent sure that I wont regret skipping the big traditional wedding. It's a custom that society forces on us.
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    My husband and I did a minimony in October and our big wedding is scheduled for March 2021. I feel like my feelings go back and forth, sometimes I want to cancel the big wedding and sometimes I am really looking forward to it. As of right now, our big celebration is still scheduled for March. We had an amazing time at our minimony but I still want to be able to celebrate with everyone else at times. Of course we are iffy because we don't know how COVID will be come March, but we decided not to make a decision until the end of January/Beginning of February and my venue is fine with that.

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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I’ve been married before but have never had a wedding. Never had my dress. Never had my dad walk me down the aisle. I’ve always felt that sad that I’ve never had those experiences. My FH wants the whole wedding experience (& I’m secretly glad he does). He did ask me if I’ve been thinking about the restrictions & what we’re going to do about it. I told him that regardless we’re getting married on 4/3/21 but the only thing that might change is the guest list.
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  • L
    Beginner November 2020
    Lgdp ·
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    That’s great, congratulations! And really nice that you guys can wait it out and have that flexibility. I totally hear you on going back and forth on it — that’s exactly what I did but now that it’s cancelled I’m a bit sad. Going to just see how 2021 looks and if I’m really missing it perhaps we can do a more casual anniversary party. Best of luck!
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  • L
    Beginner November 2020
    Lgdp ·
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    That’s a great plan! We did the same thing and said no matter what happens we’re going to get married in November (especially since we had already rescheduled once). Covid has taught us that the future is too unpredictable, so we didn’t want to wait any longer. Best of luck and congrats!
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Thank you! And yes you can always plan something more casual if things get better.

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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    We reduced our guest list from 150 to 17, getting married in 12(!!) days. We have 0 plans to do a big reception in the future for exactly the reasons you mentioned. It’s been a year of happiness and sadness, planning and replanting due to covid and I honestly can’t see myself doing it all over again. Since we are live-streaming the wedding, people will still be able to participate, even if it’s not the same. I don’t think I’ll feel like I missed out.
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  • L
    Beginner November 2020
    Lgdp ·
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    That's so helpful, Anais, thanks for sharing! You couldn't have summed up those feelings better, lol. I do think everything happens for a reason and even though we would've loved to have everyone there, we did feel that the intimacy and personal touches were missing from our original ballroom/city wedding and we were able to get so many of those with our micro wedding. Our ceremony was live streamed as well! We had a bunch of family and friends watching and sharing pictures of the live stream, so we definitely felt the love and support Smiley smile Congratulations, and I hope you have the best time ever! Enjoy and embrace every minute of it!

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  • L
    Beginner November 2020
    Lgdp ·
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    That's true! COVID has certainly opened up the options when it comes to weddings and has taken some pressure off the "big, traditional wedding". I was never really fully sold on the big ballroom type wedding (just because I felt it lacked personality and intimacy), so it's neat to see all the different alternatives now.

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