Hi there! I am new here and hope to lean on this community as we plan our wedding for the summer. But first, I would love some advice on my engagement ring situation.
Last year, after being together for a few years, and living together for a year, I suggested to my sweetie that I was ready for engagement and hoped he'd find it in his heart to make that happen with me. He had been married before and we were working through some of his fears about marriage. I thought we were really making good progress. I had been very patient but I was ready to make it official!
I gave him ideas of rings I liked -- they were definitely less flashy than I probably would have picked out had we gone jewelry shopping together. But I thought they were beautiful and I knew I would feel so blessed if he proposed to me with one of them.
On my birthday, he gave me one of the rings I had asked for! I was so excited, but it didn't feel like a proposal. I asked him..."is this an engagement ring?" And he said -- "it's a commitment ring." My heart fell into my stomach and I started to cry. After a long conversation and a declaration that I didn't want the ring if he wasn't proposing and that we would need to rethink our relationship, he realized I was very serious. He proposed that day in a very heartfelt way. Lots of tears between us. It wasn't an Instagram-worthy proposal, but it was raw and real.
Ever since that day, I have looked at my ring and felt a pang of sadness. I love it, but it doesn't feel like it was "chosen" for the purpose that I'm wearing it for. It is very beautiful, but simple and could easily be used as a wedding band. I would love to bring up the idea of getting a new engagement ring with my fiance before the wedding this summer, but I am afraid of hurting his feelings. I'm also afraid he will think that I only care about having a flashy, more expensive ring. So, I have avoided the topic.
Do you think I should just let go of my feelings about the ring and love it for what it is? I know I would have truly adored it as an engagement ring if the situation had been different! Or, should I bring up my feelings about it? If so, any suggestions on how to broach the subject without harming our relationship?
Sorry for the long post. Thank you!
